


Izaya's Twilight Zone

by greeneyedciel



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Action/Adventure, Declarations Of Love, Evil Shinra, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Kidnapping, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, Murder Mystery, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2018-10-17 20:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10601283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneyedciel/pseuds/greeneyedciel
Summary: Izaya gets flung into another dimension and must find his way back home before it's too late.





	1. The Portal

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all,
> 
> This is my second attempt at fanfiction and is strictly for fun. I came up with the idea after I finished the series last month and decided that I wanted to add into this fandom. This tale will be able Izaya encountering different dimensional versions of himself as he comes to the realization that maybe, just maybe, he actually might have feelings for Shizuo. 
> 
> I'll be splitting the story between Izaya & Shizuo's point of view.   
> The story gets progressively better.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! :D

**Izaya**

 

“IIIZAAYAA!” Shizuo screamed as he lifted an entire van over his head that I just happened to have led him into.

I knew right then I should have made different calculations as this white van was hurled at me. I leapt out of the main road and flung myself into an alley way. The dark alley let out to another street near Shinra’s apartment. I would pay him a visit till the brute calmed down.

“Come back here you stupid flea so I can kill you!” Shizuo’s voice flooded my ears.

I ran forward and wondered if I could get him hit by a larger truck when a blue spinning circle appeared. It was reflective like a mirror, yet there wasn’t anything containing it. I pressed my heels against the dirty alley cement as I skidded to a stop. I tilted my head curiously. "What is this doing here?" I wondered aloud when the flat circle suddenly elongated to the size of a full body oval mirror. I moved closer to the blue oval, “What is this?” I pressed my hand hesitantly against the surface and watched different shades of blue swirl under my fingertips. The oval’s surface felt like gelatin; should I put my hand through?

“I’m going to kill you!”

This is when everything moved in slow motion-when everything went to shit. I felt something heavy smack my back, heard the beast grunt “I’m going to fucking kill you, Izaya,” and then I tumbled forward into the blue oval as the gelatin like blue engulf me. I opened my mouth to scream as the swirling blue sucked me forward through it with brilliantly bright colors, but the scream couldn't escape my lungs. A bright light blinded me and suddenly I collapsed on something soft.

“I can’t see, I can’t see!” I screamed as I thrashed about.

“Izaya, open your eyes! It’s just a bad dream.” A sleepy voice soothed. “Just go back to sleep.”

“I can’t fucking see!” I screamed.

“Better?” A bright light flashed to my left, and I saw a large man turn back towards me. “You really need to stop working so hard. This is the third time you’ve woken me up with a nightmare this week.”

My whole stomach dropped as I watch Shizuo sink back into the large black bed. His bleached blonde hair shimmered under the lamp light. The dreams I had about him when we attended Raira Academy together flooded back to me. Wasn’t this what I had always wanted? I shoved the memories back and shook my head. This can’t be happening, I reasoned. I would never be in the same bed with-with this monster! “Very funny Shizuo. I’m glad you got your revenge, you taught me a lesson that will haunt me for the rest of my existence.” I shivered as I threw myself out of the bed.

“Babe, if you’re going to have a mental break down, do you mind grabbing me a bottle of water first?” Shizuo yawned.

“Don’t call me babe.” I snapped.

“Fine Senpai, now go the fuck back to sleep. I have work in the morning.” Shizu-chan grumbled then rested his head against a large black pillow. “Do you mind getting me the water first though, please darling?”

I stared at him loathingly. “I would never do anything like that for you!” I stormed out of the bedroom.  I ran down a wooden hallway and stopped when I felt bile burn the back of my throat. “What are these!” I screamed. “Who took these pictures! Who did you pay to photoshop these pictures!” I gripped the horrible silver frame between my hands. Uncomfortable emotions flooded through me, which felt…awful. I hated feeling, I liked to observe others feel. I needed to get a hold of myself. A deep part of me rationalized that this was all just some horrible dream, which is why I was staring at this horrible collage of wedding photos of Shizuo and I. My subconscious was just fucking with me, or Shinra was just making suggestions to me while I slept at his apartment to recover from my fight with Shizuo. One of those has to be the reason, I thought as I gripped the collage tighter.

“Could you seriously stop being a drama queen at two in the morning?” Shizuo’s words rang in my ears.

“Stop talking like that! You don’t talk like that!” I leaned against the perfect white wall. My breathing was ragged as I glared at him. All of this was too much for me, but the last straw was when I realized that this wasn’t my apartment. This wasn’t Shizuo’s apartment either. “Where am I?” I hissed under my breath. Why would my mind put me here in an apartment I couldn’t recall ever seeing before.  

“Well don’t break the picture frame of our wedding pictures. I know you hate it, but Kasuka gave it to us as a gift.” Shizuo gently lifted the silver frame out of my hands.

My stomach heaved as I covered my mouth. “Those aren’t real!” I coughed. Bile burned the back of my throat. The fact I felt burning meant I was probably awake. If I was awake, then this wasn’t a dream. If this wasn’t a dream, I was fucked. Maybe I had stumbled upon a real inter-dimensional portal? What if I was stuck here the rest of my life? “Oh god.” I gurgled.

“Go puke in the bathroom.” Shizuo opened a door across from us the lead into a black and white bathroom.

“It’s revolting!” I vomited into the porcelain toilet.

“You don’t have to tell me twice. You’re the one that decorated it.”

My stomach twisted and I lurched forward against the cold toilet. Why was this happening? Was I really in another dimension? Was that blue thing a gateway? I just wanted to wake up from this horrible, horrible nightmare. “Call Shinra!” I choked.

“Why would I call your Ex?” Shizuo’s voice turned angry. “Why are you telling me to call your Ex at two in the morning?”

“Because he’s a god damn doctor!” I vomited again at the thought of Shinra and I…

“He is an over glorified plastic surgeon to celebrities and criminals.” Shizuo’s tone sounded hurt. “Why would you ask me to call him? I know how that makes me feel when you bring him up.”

Never in a million years would I have sex with Shinra. He was a friend, an interesting human who would probably become a serial killer just to keep his beloved Celty safe, but the despicable thought that he and I ever slept together made my skin crawl. “Just call a doctor.” I turned to look at Shizuo over my shoulder.

“Oh, why not tell Shinra to call the doctor for you since that’s who you wish was with you while you vomit all over our apartment at two in the morning?” Shizuo’s changed his stance as he put his right hand on his hip. “Is he the reason you’re shifts have been so long? I thought you were working a murder case not seeing your weird Ex.”

This Shizuo made me miss the violent one. “Then get me a phone.” I hurled again as I saw Shizuo flick his long, blond bangs out of his face and lean against the door frame. I wanted to scream at him for being so stupid, for acting like this was a fucking doujinshi novel that Erika would read.  

“Oh, am I your servant now?”

“PLEASE GET ME A DAMN PHONE NOW!” I shouted before I heaved again. I would never take the monster for granted again if I lived through this.   

“Alright, I’ll take you to the hospital if you’re so sick.” Shizuo left me in the black and white bathroom.

I was relieved that he left. Maybe, I processed a plan slowly, I should leave and try to find another portal. I still couldn’t decide if I was actually in another dimension, but if I was, I should try and leave this shitty dimension with an even worse Shizu-chan as soon as possible.   

“Here, let me help you into your coat.” Shizu-chan lifted me from the toilet to slip my arms into a soft coat.

“Shizuo, this isn’t my jacket.” I clenched my fists. “Is this some joke? I hate pink. I demand another coat!”

“It’s your jacket, you bought it last year.” Shizuo huffed and cradled me to his chest. “If you need to vomit, you just let me know so I can throw you in the nearest trashcan.”

I laughed till my sides hurt as Shizuo carried me out of the apartment into a silver elevator. “This is the most sense you’ve made all night. Please continue, Shizu-chan.”

“So you don’t want me to call you babe, but you can call me Shizu-chan?” Shizuo rolled his brown eyes at me. “You’re acting so weird tonight.” Shizuo rocked me in his arms as if I were a child.

“I hate that, I’m not a child.” I tried to wiggle from his grasp and ended up punching him under his chin.

“You normally love it when I do that. You must be sick.”

“Sick of this stupid dimension.” I grumbled as the elevator lurched to a stop and opened to reveal a dark parking garage. Shizuo gave no indication if he heard what I grumbled about, but led me to a simple, black sedan.

I needed to get out of this place as soon as possible.

  


	2. The Doppelganger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 guys :D We get both points of view in this chapter! I hope you guys like it!

 

**Shizuo**

I saw that stupid blue thing. I knew it had to be another one of the flea’s tricks as he fell through it. In a bright blue flash, the flea emerged again, but wearing a loose pair of grey sweatpants with pink t-shirt.

The flea stood up and rubbed the back of his neck, “Oi, where am I?” He asked stupidly with an even stupider look on his face. God I hate him so much I wanted to scream.  The flea turned to me as I raised a street sign ready to kill the stupid bastard. “Are we cosplaying today?  Did I forget something?” Izaya scratched his tilted head confused. Izaya looked past me towards the road. “Why are we in an alley? Ugh I don’t have any shoes.” Izaya’s face contorted into a cringe. “Darling, carry me.”

“What the fuck did you just say?” I squeezed the sign tight in my fist and felt the metal bend.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re in that mood today.” Izaya placed both hands on his slim hips. “I told you I have a big case this month that will require me to work after hours, I’m sorry I forgot about a cosplay convention. You don’t need to act like a dick about it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about you stupid flea!” I shout at him and raise the sign.

This Izaya glares at me, but doesn’t move. “I’m saying I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. You don’t need to act so angry about it. I hate it when you get like this, and you’ll end up with wrinkles if you keep glaring like that!” Izaya snapped.

“Huh?” I lower the sign. “Did-did you just say you were sorry?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” Izaya moves closer to me with a sigh. “I’m sorry I forgot something that was important to you.” Izaya flashed me a small smile and ran his hands through his messy, black hair. Brown eyes lit up when he looked at me, “Do you feel better now?”

“Where did it go!” I heard a voice shout from behind me. I turned to see Shingen Kishitani, Shinra’s father, run up the alley with something in his hands. Shinra’s father had always been weird, and he always wore his stupid white gas mask that covered most of his face and made him look like a pig. I spied a bobbing yellow cat eared  helmet behind him.

“Celty, Shingen, what are you guys doing here?” I set the sign down as I forgot about Izaya at the moment.

Shinra’s dad ignored me as he moved closer to Izaya. The small beige machine in his hand started to beep annoyingly and reminded me of something that spies used in action movies to track nuclear stuff...a geiger counter. “Is that a geiger counter?”

Shinra’s dad doesn’t look up, “Oh no, it’s something similar though. I’m tracking different particles, specifically those that could possibly be related to time or interdimensional travel. Isn’t it thrilling?” Shinra’s dad pressed the not geiger counter against Izaya. The machine made a high pitch beep. “You are not our Izaya!” Shinra’s dad jumped back. “I knew I wasn’t crazy! I can’t believe you doubted me Celty.”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” Izaya backed up against the wall. Izaya turned to spot Celty by my side. “And who is that!”

“Interesting, so interesting. Are you telling me that neither Celty nor I exist in your world?” Shinra’s dad pulled out a needle. “I need a blood sample immediately. I wonder if your organs are different, would you possibly let me dissect you? I’m extremely curious now.”

Izaya let out a gasp as he jumped away. “Shizuo, if this is a joke, it’s not funny.” Izaya jumped through Shingen’s grasp and then proceeded to move towards me. “Tell your friend to cut it out. I hate needles.” Izaya then proceeded to press himself behind me and peered over my shoulder like I was his human shield.

“What are you doing?” I hissed. “Get off of me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re still grumpy. I already said sorry, can’t we just go home now?” Izaya’s voice plead. He wrapped his stupid arm around mine and tried to yank me back towards the street behind us. “I’m not even dressed to go out...I need shoes. I’m not even wearing anything cute.”His voice was whiny-needy like...a girlfriend?

Celty smashed her phone in my face. The text read _“What is going on! Are you and Izaya sleeping together??!!! ?”_

“NO! I have no idea what has gotten into this flea.” I tried to shake Izaya off my arm. I hated his stupid arm and body all over me. “Would you let go? I hate when you get your flea stench all over me.”

“I already told you both, that’s not the real Izaya. Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me?” Shingen moved towards us in an awkward fucking half crouch. If he wasn’t old, I would punch him.

“Honestly?” I dropped the street sign. “What did you say again?” I asked as I clenched my fists that threatened to strangle this stupid flea that clung to my back.  

“Did you see any anomalies before this Izaya appeared?”

“Yeah, there was a blue thing. Izaya fell through and came out like this.”

“Blue thing? I’m going to need specifics. How big was this blue thing, what shade, what was it doing before Izaya went through?”

“Uh, like just there. It looked about this big-” I moved my arms to mimic the size, “The colors swirled like one of those slimy galaxy goop things kids get. Izaya and I were fighting and I smacked him through. Now he’s acting stupider than normal.” I grimaced and tried to peel him off me.

“Why do you keep acting like this? It’s starting to hurt my feelings.” Izaya frowned as I lifted him by the shirt.

“I don’t care about your feelings.” My fist clenched around his shirt tight till I heard a rip in the fabric.

Izaya swung himself around my neck and clung there like stupid fucking koala. “Why are you acting so mean today? I think you need to take a deep breath and meditate.”

I stood there with fists clenched as the dumb flea in pink hung around my neck, Shingen crept closer to us in the wierdest tip toed fucking way, and Celty facepalmed her helmet and shook her head. She typed something with her left hand, _“I think we should take him back with Shingen. He’s obviously not our Izaya.”_ The automated voice read.

“Excuse me, but I think I know my husband when I see him.” Izaya dropped from my neck. “He’s impossible when grumpy, sassy when provoked, and looks damn good in cosplay.” Izaya reached behind me and smacked my ass.

Everyone froze except for Izaya. “Did you-Did you just smack my ass?” I asked calmly.

Celty started typing furiously, and Shingen moved back towards Celty.

I picked Izaya up by his shirt once more, “HOW DARE YOU SMACK MY ASS LIKE I’M SOME PIECE OF MEAT!” I screamed and threw him into a nearby garbage can.

“Did he just say he was your husband?” Shingen scratched the side of his head.

Celty ran over and pulled him out and typed furiously. She handed Izaya over to Shingen and ran over to me. _“Calm down-remember that’s not really Izaya! Please don’t fight.”_

“You stupid jerk!” Izaya ran over and leapt over Celty to punch me in the face-hard. “How dare you put me in the trash!” Then he grabbed my arm and somehow I ended up pinned to the ground.

“Huh?”

“I hate violence! You know that you stupid asshole!”

I looked up at him from my back as those familiar words rang through me.

“Come on Celty, Izaya. We need to figure out a mystery.”

**Izaya**

“He’s severely dehydrated, has a fractured-” muffle sound, “But, he should be discharged in an hour. You might want to keep an eye on him, and stress to a minimal. At least for today.” There was more muffled sounds after.

I laid in the pale blue hospital gown as I stared at the all white ceiling. Heiwajima Izaya: Age 24, Weight 59 kg, DOB: 05/04/1990 Blood type: O, Black hair, brown eyes, entered the police force after graduating Raira Academy, an outstanding office for the past five years, and recently promoted to detective. This man was not me. This man lives to help others, a noble but naive endeavour, and obviously has the worst taste in fashion. How can another dimensional version of me touch the color pink?

I crunched a paper cup under my fist when I realized I was avoiding the elephant in the room. This Izaya stooped low enough to marry that stupid protozoa-that monster, who in this dimension worked as a school teacher at Raira.  Despite our initial encounter early this morning, he proved himself to be very intelligent. Too intelligent. I missed my brute.

“ ‘Zaya, why didn’t you tell me you got hurt on the job? You’ll have to report it.”

“No.” I replied. I sat up in the bed and stared at him, “I want to go back now.” I couldn’t bare to spit out the word home.

“No, you need to stay for another hour while they finish paperwork.” Shizuo sat in the chair beside my bed. “Has something been happening at work? Is that why you’ve been having nightmares?” Shizuo gazed at me intently with his too bright brown eyes. “Or is it the kiny sex you’ve been having Shinra?”

I gagged at the thought, “Would you stop saying that? I would never do that.” I glared before I turned my gaze to the window to observe the busy little humans below.

“Then why are you acting so odd my beloved?”

“Stop saying that! It’s disgusting.”

“I could read you poetry?” Shizuo moved his hand over mine.

I frowned at the thought of Shizuo reading poetry...my Shizuo couldn’t even understand children’s rhymes. At least I thought…but, what if Shizuo was actually smarter than I gave him credit for?

“The jester walked in the garden; the garden had fallen still. He bade his soul to rise upward and stand on her window-sill.” Shizuo’s voice was husky as he traced his thumb over my palm.

I wanted to turn away from Shizuo-or punch him for being so disgustingly romantic. “It rose-”

“If this is a metaphor about your…” I scrunched my nose, “Desires, then please keep it to yourself.”

“It’s Yeats. We studied him in high school, and it’s also the poet we’re on this week.”

“Nothing native?” I asked in an attempt to distract Shizuo.

“Next month.” Shizuo cupped my face and turned me towards him. “Love, your eyes are different.”

I blinked, “Are they?” I asked innocently. I had already noticed my eyes were different from this Izaya.

“Yeah...crimson. Are you wearing contacts?”

“Yes, I just felt like a change.” I lied smoothly.

“You normally wear your blue ones.” Shizuo’s thumb ran over my cheek, yet I was more concerned by his action. I had the feeling he was inspecting me under his curious gaze.

“Exactly why I needed a change.” I smiled. I needed to leave this nightmare. I needed to leave as soon as possible, which meant I needed to trick this Shizuo. “Why don’t we go home, Shizu-chan.” I smiled sweetly.

This Shizuo didn’t seem fooled, “Maybe we should take you to a therapist this week. This murder case seems to be affecting you deeply. You’re acting like a different person.”

My throat tightened at his words, “Shizu-chan, I don’t think that’s necessary. I’m fine, I swear.”

“Then what do you suggest? More poetry?” Shizuo’s hand slipped over mine again as he leaned in close to me.

I forced a tight a smile on my lips as I realized with horror what he was implying. “Why don’t I show you when we get back.” The words came out shaky even to my ears.

“You don’t sound very confident that you will.” Shizuo teased.

Blush burned my cheeks, “We’re in public!” I turned my head back towards the window. I needed to leave this horrible nightmare now.  


	3. The Search

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here's chapter 3! 
> 
> The story is still in that beginning stage, but everything will start picking up in the next chapter :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the new chapter :D

**Izaya**

I had no idea what I was doing. I sat in a squad car with an old, messy haired brunette man with crows feet around his brown eyes, who muttered to himself. “So, have you had any leads?” I asked unbearably bored.

“You’re the detective.” Reo snapped at me.

I was annoyed. My fill in partner was a self-absorbed, homophobic asshole. I couldn’t make the man talk, and I had no idea what this dimension's Izaya was like. If I said too much, I could be taken off the case for mental reasons. That would ruin my cover, and I had no idea how long I would be here. Shizuo was already suspicious when I faked a migraine all of yesterday, and slept in my crimson ‘contacts’. This damn Shizuo was too smart for his own good. He chided me all through breakfast about it like an old woman. “So, is there any reason besides the fact I’m married to a man that you find uncomfortable? It’s awfully boring having a stake out if you don’t talk to me.”

“Just don’t like you.” The brown eyed brunette responded gruffly.

“Clearly. So, what’s the gossip about this murder. I heard whispers when I came in this morning.” That was a lie, but I needed to know more about this case I’m supposed to co-directing. I read the case file, and found it very unoriginal besides one unique clue. Some poor human of mine was found dead in an alley with his brains strewn about. No murder weapon, and the bullet nowhere to be found. Forensics theorized the murder had removed the bullet from his skull. It sounded like something Shinra would do if he were to become the great serial killer I half expected him to be. I suppose he could still become a serial killer if Celty was somehow involved…I wished this killer was Shinra then he might be able to help me out of here. I wouldn’t even care if this Shinra was a bi serial killer who may or may not have had relations with me. I needed to get out of this dimension soon before Shizuo figured out I wasn’t his beloved husband. Could I even meet up with Shinra without Shizuo becoming a jealous monster, I wondered as I twirled my badge absently. This Shizuo would be a pain to trick, especially with him trying to ‘care’ for me. As I thought about smart Shizuo, I questioned if this dimensional Shinra was even smart. You don’t have to be a genius for a career in plastic surgery; maybe he performed an experiment on Shizuo and that’s how the brute gained his intelligence, I thought with a smirk.

“People talk.” Reo’s monotoned voice interrupted my thoughts.

I glared, “I heard someone say they thought someone in the police department was covering up information from the rest of the department.” I loved all my humans, but Reo was slowly grating on my nerves.

“Of course they did, idiots. I doubt anyone in the area would kill a diplomat’s kid.” The officer pulled out a newspaper from his lap with a crisp snap.

“It wouldn’t be the first-time Ikebukuro police department tried to cover up something.”

“Gang activity, not a kid’s murder.”

“Maybe it was gang related. It’s plausible.” I turned my head to grin out the window. I finally got this asshole to open up. Victory was mine. “Diplomat Saito was supposed to be meeting with South Korea this week. Maybe someone wanted to interrupt his negotiation plans between North and South Korea.”

“Could be. It could have been something else. I heard that his kid Usagi was supposed to inherit something the older son wanted. No one knows what it was. Personally, I think it was his estate. I doubt it would be anything worth killing your brother over, but who knows. People are crazy.” Reo snapped his paper again and ducked his head between the folds of paper.

“Fascinating. It’s so funny to hear what people come up with. I wonder if any of it is true.” My beautiful humans are the same here as they are back home. Oh, I would have fun here while I waited to return. I had new toys to play with.

**Shizuo**

“I’m not staying with that flea!” I stomped towards the front door.

“But, Shizuo.” Shinra grabbed my arm. “Please, he’s heartbroken. He misses his husband, and we don’t even know if or when we can get him home. At least stay with him in Izaya’s apartment.” Shinra tried to yank my arm backwards.

“Why would I ever help him?” I cringed at the sound of sobs from the other room. For fucks sake, this flea made me miss the asshole one.

“Well we can’t let him stay here.”

“You mean you don’t want him here.”

“Yes! He’s getting in the way of Celty time, and his crying is...unnerving. I’ve never seen Izaya cry.” Shinra jumped in front of me and spread his arms in front of the door.

I turned back towards the living room and saw Celty emerge from the back room with a red eyed Izaya on her shoulder. _“I told him he could spend the night here.”_ Her phone app read.

Shinra looked like he would cry, “No Celty. I’ll stay with him at Izaya’s place. It’s no big deal.” I sighed. I could deal with this Izaya for a night.

“That’s very kind of you. Just like my Shiz-shiz-” Izaya began to sob again.

“Please, please shut up.” I crushed the bridge of my nose between my fingers frustrated.

“I-I can’t help it. What if I never see my-my Shiz-Shizuo again.” Izaya hiccupped onto Celty’s arm.

Celty patted his back awkwardly. _“You might have to carry him.”_ Celty shoved her phone near my face.

“Yeah, I can do that. Just cover his face so people don’t get the wrong idea about us.” The last thing I needed was the boy shipping Erika to spy us together.

**Izaya**

I skipped along the sidewalk after my shift ended. “It’s time to explore this big, beautiful city of mine.” I had a new black fur trimmed coat, my badge, and a nice new switchblade. “Now where do I find my underground doctor?” I hummed as I skipped down the busy sidewalk. I couldn’t find Russian Sushi, or any information on Haruya Shikki. In fact, the normal stops on my trips around ‘Bukuro were missing. There was a usual contact I could find though: Masaomi Kida.

**Shizuo**

“If you don’t stop crying, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!” I screamed as I lifted the black sofa.

“I-I can’t.” Izaya sobbed. “What if I ne-never see him again!”

“STOP THAT STUPID CRYING!” I bought the sofa down on him.

“Why would you do that!” Izaya pulled himself out from under the sofa. “It’s okay for people to have emotions!” Izaya picked up a black sofa cushion. “People can feel!” Izaya threw the cushion at me hard.

“You were crying for two fucking hours!” I yelled as the cushion hit my face. I had it with today if the flea didn’t fucking stop, I’d kill him. I’d kill him dead!

“Maybe if you actually comforted me-” Izaya slapped my face with another cushion. “I wouldn’t have cried for two hours! How would you feel if you might never see the love of your life again while you were stuck with the shitty version of him?”

I frowned, “I guess you have a point.”

Izaya dropped the leather cushion. “You…” Izaya’s eyes filled with tears. Again.

“I swear I will throw you out the window!”

“You’re right. I’ll stop.” Izaya sniffed.

“It’s weird for a man to cry so much anyway.” I muttered.

“That’s society-”

“No. It’s my own opinion. Why don’t you go to bed?” I was done with this new flea for today. It was like dealing with an over emotional girl all fucking day, I realized. He was difficult in a way that was different from the regular flea. At least he didn’t scheme or try and ruin people’s lives.

**Izaya**

“Hey there Masaomi.” I called as I leaned against the stoned wall at Raira Academy.

“Hey detective, what’s up?” This Masaomi looked the same as mine, dirty blond hair and all, but it was too soon to tell if they were alike yet. “Oh, this is my friend Mikado. The one I told you about a while ago.”

Mikado Ryuugamine stood in front of me. His dark blue eyes scared and his exterior nervous looking. “It’s nice to meet you!” He bowed too quickly.

“No need for such formalities.” I held my hands up. I had to overcome the strong desire to test him, but I couldn’t get distracted now. I needed to find Shinra, so I could see if he knew anything. I bet his father would know how I could return home. “I do need to talk to you Kida.” My eyes flashed to Mikado. “In private if possible.”

“Harassing my students now, Mr. Heiwajima?” Shizuo sauntered up. That damn brute always showed up when I didn’t want him too.

“I thought you taught first years?” I asked with a glare.  

Both Shizuo and Kida blinked. “I am a first year. Remember you helped me out…” Kida raised an eyebrow.

“He’s just tired. Why don’t you two run along, and I’ll take Izaya home.” Shizuo slipped past them to stand beside me.

I could feel his stupid hand squeeze my shoulder as I watched my information walk away to chase girls. I hadn’t even thought to consider what the year was here with everything that had happened in the past two days. “I am working.” I said coldly. “I don’t need you to babysit me or walk me home.” I jerked my shoulder away.

“Oh? What do my students have to do with your work?” Shizuo stepped in front of me. His face twisted in a smirk, “Are you sure you aren’t chasing younger men behind my back? That would explain your lack of interest in the bedroom this week.”

“I never want to hear such disgusting words come out of your mouth again.” I snapped.

“Well you can’t blame me for asking. You’ve been acting so different.” Shizuo’s brown eyes looked sad then turned into a sharp glare. “And you still haven’t taken out those contacts like I told you to this morning-“ Shizuo yanked my ear. “Do you realize how bad that is for your eyes?” He took the ‘angry husband’ stance, and I knew I would get an earful if I didn’t agree.

“I know! I’ll take them out tonight.” I yelped.

“You better, and maybe tonight…” Shizuo released his monster grip. “Maybe I’ll cook something special.” Shizuo tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I could make- “

I resisted the strong urge to gag, “Whatever is fine. I’ll be back late tonight.” I waved and ran towards the gate entrance. Hopefully I wouldn’t have to come back at all tonight, and would finally be back to my own dimension.


	4. The Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter lays out the reasons why Shizuo is not a detective and answers some other lingering questions. 
> 
> I didn't get to edit this chapter as much as I wanted to, but I really wanted to post the next chapter. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

**Shizuo**

“I’m not taking off work to babysit Izaya.” I snapped and tried not to crush my gold cellphone between my fingers.

“But, I might get a job today. I can’t watch him.” Shinra whined on the other end.

“Then leave him with Celty.”

“She’s busy.”

“Then why not leave him with your dad?” I was more and more agitated by Shinra by the minute. This fucking Izaya dilemma was too much fucking work.

“He won’t take Izaya till 3.”

“Then I’ll just lock him in the apartment since you’re so worried.” I turned around to see the front door wide open. “Oh shit.”

“He left already?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll let Celty know.” And with that the other line went dead. Today was shit already.

**Izaya**

“I’m not saying nothin’ to you copper.” A lowly gang member sneered at me. He wore grey baggy jeans, a yellow hoodie, and red bandana. This wonderful human was quite the fashion catastrophe.

“All I need to know is if you know who Dr.-”

“I don’t know no damn doctor. Even if I did, why would I tell a pig like you?”

I pulled my switch blade and held it against his throat as the surprised human stumbled back against the graffiti covered alley wall.. “I’ve had a rough day, and all I want to know is one simple thing. That’s really not so much to ask for, is it?”

The thug trembled with a small nod.

Oh humans are so easy to intimidate. “Good. Now all I want to know is if you know who Dr. Kishitani Shinra is.” I smiled.

“The plastic surgeon? Yeah-yeah I know who he is. I’ve never seen him though. I heard he took over a gang.”

That was a surprise. “Took over a gang? Now that sounds so interesting.” I lowered the knife.

“Well the ex leader of the yellow scarves quit, and people are saying the underground doctor took over now, and is trying to take over the smaller gangs. I heard a rumor…”

I nodded in full interest, “Go on.” .

“That he was out to kill a certain ex-boyfriend’s husband.”

I can only assume that meant Shizuo was in danger. I smirked in amusement as my death wish for Shizuo would finally come true. “Do you know how to get in contact with Kishitani?”

“Look, I don’t know how to get in contact with him. I have my own problems to worry about. Get lost.”

“If Shinra has gotten into the underground crime scene…” I slid my switchblade back into my coat pocket, “We’re all in trouble.”

**Shizuo**

“IZZAYAA!” I shouted as I ripped a street sign up from the ground in frustration. “It’s been hours and I can’t fucking find him. Why is this so hard? The guy isn’t even from here, how should he know where to hide?”

Celty waved her arms in front of me and typed furiously.

“Yo Shizuo, let’s put the street sign down.” Tom jogged over to Celty and I. “I was worried when you called off work. You never call off.”

“It’s a long story about dealing with a certain annoying flea.” I strangled the metal pole in my fist. “I’ll kill the bastard when I find him. He just fucking left this morning. He doesn’t even have a phone.” I paced back and forth. “We’ve been searching for three hours and we can’t fucking find him.”

“Whoa, wait. What do you mean he left in the morning?” Tom’s voice interrupted my pacing. “Did you guys…”

“No! It’s not what you think!” I dropped the sign horrified as I realized how my ranting sounded.

Celty typed fast and the app spoke, “ _It’s a long story. But, our Izaya is missing and the one here is from another dimension. I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe us.”_

Tom stood up straight and thrust his hands into his pockets with a sigh. “Take as long as you need, but leave me out of it. It’s too early for creepy stuff like this.” Tom moved when he noticed a group of teenage girls about to pass us on the narrow sidewalk.

“Did you see the info broker in pink?”

“Yeah, I think he’s finally lost it.”

I whipped my head to see a group of three makeup plastered teenage girls walking as they held their phones like idiots. “Hold up, where did you see Izaya?”

“Why do you wanna know Bartender?” One sneered before a scared girl whispered in her ear.

“She’s an idiot. We’re super sorry about her.” The girl in the back shoved the stupid girl behind her. “We saw him with a weird group of guys and a girl in all black. They were near the park by the-”

“Thanks!” I sprinted towards the nearest park I knew. I heard the neigh of Celty’s bike as it whipped in front of me. “Yeah, a ride would be nice.” I jumped on the back of shooter as a black helmet materialized over me. At last I was gonna get that fucking flea and make him pay.

**Izaya**

I entered the dark apartment with a smile. I had successfully avoided the brute. I guess this Shizuo isn’t that smart after all.  

“And just where were you!” A light flipped on from the kitchen. A tired and grumpy Shizuo sat at the marble table with a red pen in his hand.

“Why were you grading papers in the dark?”

“I turned the light off for dramatic effect to show you how absolutely angry I am!” Shizuo snapped the red pen between his fingers. Red ink ran down his fist. “Great, now I have to clean that up.” Shizuo turned his glare back to me. “I don’t know what is going on with you, but I hate it!” Shizuo stood up and I could see his muscles ripple beneath his tight white tee shirt.

I would not be attracted to this monster. I would rather die first. “I would apologize, but I don’t really care.” I shrugged with a smirk.

“You.What.” Shizuo stormed over to me with murder in his brown eyes. “So you miss dinner that I made for you-”

“I was working.”

“When you said you would be here-”

“To be fair Shizu-Chan, I never said I would be here. I simply said I would see you later.” I forced my smile into a thin line so he wouldn’t punch me...yet I wanted the chase between us to happen though, and I would make it happen.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Shizuo’s shoulders slumped and he pressed his forehead to mine. “It’s been like this for a whole week. You won’t touch me, you’ve been a complete ass, and I don’t understand-” Shizuo’s eyes looked teary for an uncomfortably long moment before they hardened into a sharp glare, “Why you won’t take those damn contacts out of your eyes!” Shizuo snarled as he locked eyes with me. “I told you a million times today! Do you want an infection!” Shizuo picked me up by the collar of my black coat. “Why do you keep ignoring me when I ask you to do the simplest of things!”

“You’re still the same Shizu-Chan. Just a beast underneath it all.” I laughed. This was exactly what I had been missing! With a rush of anticipation, I waited for him to make his next move. My fingers slid into my coat pocket to find my knife as I grinned madly at him until the unexpected happened.

Shizuo’s monstery snarl fell from his face as he dropped me. “I shouldn’t have.” He backed away from me in horror. “I shouldn’t have…” Shizuo turned his back on me. “I’m going to bed.” Shizuo hastily left the kitchen and turned right into the bedroom hallway.

“Well that was disappointing.” I sighed. Now where would I have fun, I wondered as skipped out of the apartment.

**Shizuo**

“I knew it! Everyone thought I was crazy living in my fictional fujoshi world, but I KNEW IT!”

“Erika, don’t scream that.” Walker pulled Erika towards their gang’s van with a nervous look on his face. “He’s uh in the park playing with some kids.” Walker called over Erika’s shoulder as he pointed towards the park entrance.

Erika freed herself from Walker’s grasp by slipping through his arms that held her from behind. “He told us everything! I can’t believe you guys are married!” Erika fist pumped her hands into the air. “The shipping gods have finally answered my prayers! Now I can die surrounded in Shizaya happiness.” She gushed and twirled in front of me.  

“Please shut up. It’s not like that.” I walked around her towards the arched park entrance. “And we’re not married.”

“Then why does Izaya have a wedding band?” Erika shouted before Kadota shoved her inside the van.

“We saw nothing.” Kadota gave me a nod before he piled his crew back into their faded green van.

“No!” I heard Erika shout before I turned away from everyone with a sigh. I jogged into the park till I was far enough away from the craziness. I reached inside my breast pocket for a cigarette. These past two days have been too much for me. “Stupid Flea.” I grumbled as I lit the cigarette. “Always causing trouble even when he’s not fucking here.” I walked through the park till I saw a bright pink Izaya skipping with five other children.

“What should we play next?” A little black haired girl with pigtails asked as she pulled on Izaya’s jeans.

“Sorry kids. Izaya needs to leave now.” I announced with forced calmness.

Izaya turned away from the children around to spot me walking towards him. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Yeah, it’s me. You ditched me this morning, and you don’t even have a cellphone. You could have gotten hurt!”

“I am perfectly capable of handling myself.” Izaya crossed his arms. “Besides you were the one who’s been an insufferable jerk. And then you wanted to drop me off somewhere with a deranged scientist!” Izaya stomped towards me. “Well I’m not staying with him or you. I just want to go home.”

I glared down at this pink coated flea. He looked like a stupid pink jelly bean. I turned my face to exhale smoke, “Fine.” I walked over to the nearest trashcan and pressed my cigarette into smithereens. “You don’t have to stay with me, and I want you to go home to your husband just as much as you do.”

“Are you guys married?” A boy eyed us from the playground.

“No.” We answered simultaneously.  

“Yes!” I heard Erika’s voice in the distance. “They’re Ikebukuro’s number one couple!”

“Erika, would you stop it!” I heard Kadota and Togusa shout before bushes about twenty meters away began to rustle.  

“That’s it!” I shouted and grabbed Izaya by his stupid pink shirt. “We’re leaving now!” I swung him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes and started to storm out of the park.

“Shizuo is like the handsome knight carrying his princess off into the sunset.” Erika sighed before Walker started to drag her towards the front of the park right along beside us. “Or a sexy bartender caveman ready to ravage his alien captive!”  

“She didn’t say anything!” Walker shouted over his shoulder as he carried Erika passed us and back to the van.

I carried a wriggling pink Izaya over to Celty. “Take him to Shingen’s lab.”

“No! You promised.” Izaya squirmed against my grasp. “I don’t want to go anywhere with that crazy guy.” Izaya broke my grasp and tumbled down my back.

“Don’t you want to go home?” I tried to grab him, but Izaya dodged.

“Yes, but that guy said he wanted to dissect me!” Izaya jumped around me.

“Oh no you don’t!” I wrapped my arms around his waist and lifted him. I turned to Celty and dropped Izaya on Shooter. Black tentacles enveloped Izaya to keep him in place on the bike.

“Stop! I don’t want to go! Kidnapping is against the law.” Izaya struggled.

“Sorry, can’t help it.” I smirked and half turned from them when Izaya grabbed the back of my vest.

“Please come with me.” He whispered.  

I let out a sigh and turned back to him. Blush burned my cheeks as I stared into his sad brown eyes that looked too pretty to be a guy’s. Izaya fluttered his lashes and my heart thudded in my chest. “No, I have work.” What was wrong with me? Izaya had caused nothing but trouble in my life, and this one was no different.  

“Please, I promise I won’t run away again.”

I bit my lip and stared at his scared face. His brown eyes looked so afraid…”Fine.”

**Izaya**

“You look like shit.”  Kadota placed a coffee down in front of me.

I glanced up from my notes, “Thank you.”

“How’s the case going?”

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” I stared at Kadota through half lidded eyes. His police uniform suited him. I suppose my Kadota should have just entered the police force instead of working as a carpenter. He always had a strong sense of justice. Even if it was self righteous.  

“No…” Kadota plopped down in a chair beside me. “Shizuo called and sounded pretty upset. He said you left last night after a fight.”

“And.” I took a large swig of coffee that was far too sweet. “This tastes like something Shizuo would drink.” I grumbled.

“Why don’t we go out for lunch?”

I froze. “What ever for?” Kadota never asked me to lunch with him. What if this Kadota figured out I wasn’t this Izaya? My whole cover would be blown, and I would have nowhere to run.

“To catch up. I feel like we haven’t really had the chance to talk since you picked up this big case.” Kadota tilted his head as he stared at me. “You look like you could use a friend.”

Pride bellowed inside me. I had the strongest urge to tell him to fuck off, but I couldn’t. That wouldn’t be something Detective Heiwajima would do. “I suppose a sushi place wouldn’t be so bad.”

* * *

“So what’s been up with you and Shizuo?” Kadota asked before taking a big bite of tuna.

“Shizuo and I” I spoke in a corrective tone, “Have been fighting because he has been far too nosy and smart for his own good.”

“Well maybe he’s just worried about you.” Kadota’s face turned thoughtful. “He could just be upset about his father passing too.”

This was news to me. “Oh?”

“Well the whole reason Shizuo isn’t with us on the force is, well you know.” Kadota shrugged.

No I didn’t know, I glared annoyed. “Enlighten me on your thought process.”

“You already know his dad didn’t want you two together, and wanted Shizuo to become a professor. I wouldn’t say my thinking is anything insightful.”

I tried to think about my Shizuo’s parents. I couldn’t recall anything about their job history, only they raised two freak sons. “So you believe Shizuo is resentful about my position because he chose to be manipulated by his father’s will to become a teacher.”

“Maybe, but you should know for yourself. You’re his husband.”

Husband, the words burned my ears. I let out a snort, “It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

“Maybe couple’s counseling?” Kadota took another bite. He chewed too quickly and then swallowed.  “I honestly don’t have very much experience in the marriage department.” Kadota chuckled. “You guys are the first of our group to get married anyway.” Kadota raised his glass of water with a small smile like he was genuinely happy for me. Happy for me being with Shizuo, I realized in disgust.

“What about Shinra?”

Kadota spat out his water. “What?”

“Shinra. What about Shinra?” My voice rang with too much eagerness for a man who I wasn’t supposed to talk about. I normally would have more control over myself, but I was desperate to know.

“Why are you asking about him? He broke your heart way back in highschool.” Kadota grimaced at me. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts about Shizuo.”

He broke up with me? I felt like my world imploded by some possibility that never entered my existence. “What do you mean he broke up with me?” I snapped in disgust. No one has ever broken up with me! I am the great and powerful information broker of Ikebukuro. I would never get dumped by that perverted doctor!

“Would you chill out.” Kadota hissed and elbowed me. “Look, I know it’s a sensitive topic with you. But, you seriously have to get over it. So what if Shinra dumped you freshman year for some foreign girl? Shizuo is way better than some lunatic who stabbed you in biology club.”

I absorbed everything Kadota said slowly, and felt relieved and nauseous at the same time for multiple reasons. First this probably meant Shinra and I didn’t have sex, second Celty was probably here and human, and third I was probably the one who jumped in front of Shinra and got stabbed by Nakura. I frowned at these revelations, but mostly I couldn’t fathom why I would be so upset about being dumped by Shinra. “I’m over it.” I sniffed. “Maybe I just want to be friends again.”

Kadota almost dropped his glass. “Do you want him to die? Shizuo may not be the fighter he once was, but he’ll kill him if you go anywhere near Shinra. Don’t you remember how he threw a van at him sophomore year because you were assigned lab partners with Shinra? That couldn’t have slipped your mind. Shizuo still loses his shit when you bring up Shinra, and now you want to be friends?”

“What if I told you he’s connected to our case?”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       


	5. The Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably going to end up changing the rating for this later on. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Izaya**

 

“Shinra?” I called out into the large empty warehouse that was nestled between two other decrepit warehouses. The inside was dirty, dark, and had the faintest smell of mold. This didn’t remind me of any place Shinra would want to work out of. “Where are you my favorite perverted psychopath?” I hummed loudly. I walked over to the far-right corner and found a stack of empty beer cans. I picked one of the aluminum cans to examined it. “Cheap. Shinra doesn’t even like beer.” I narrowed my eyes and scanned my surroundings again. The yellow scarf I interrogated couldn’t have lied, yet I failed to see why Shinra would ever operate a lab out of this dump. “Shinra, if you can hear me…” I paused as I waited for any response, “I would like to have a word with you. You’re a difficult man to track down. I don’t think Shizu-chan should have worried about me finding you since you changed all your phone numbers.” I continued to explore the flat, empty warehouse for any clues. Perhaps there was a basement underneath here that Shinra used as a lab base. “You deleted all your social media accounts, school pictures of you were removed, and your childhood home burned down recently under mysterious circumstances. Impressive even for you Shinra, but this all seems like a lot of effort. It makes me wonder what are you hiding?”

A loud clang rang from behind me. “Izaya, it’s obviously the guy lied.” Kadota stepped inside the warehouse. “I check out the other two warehouses. There’s nothing but broken glass and trash.” Dotachin left the large door open to let the late afternoon sunlight seep through.

“He wasn’t lying. I can tell when someone is lying.” I mused. “I think Shinra knew we were coming.” I walked along the walls and searched for any cameras or bugs. “Shinra is much smarter than he lets on.” I circled the building till I found something that stood out against the grey cement floor. “He probably just wants to play a game with us.” I pulled out a swab from inside my uniform pocket. “Why else would he empty these warehouses and leave this clue behind.” I swabbed the runny red fluid and put the sample in a clear plastic bag.

“Someone may have just accidently cut themselves if Shinra ordered the place cleared out.”

“This is no accident.” I turned to Kadota. “It’s merely an invitation.” I smile formed on my lips, “And I intend to accept his invitation.”

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Hey, Shizuo.” Izaya stood out like a sore pink thumb against the mature design of the flea’s apartment.

“What?” I leaned against the granite countertop that looked like it was worth two years of my salary. I gingerly placed my hands on top of it as I tried to ignore the fact I had slept over at the louse’s place. Again. I can’t believe I let Izaya guilted me into staying over again. I ran my fingers through my messy morning hair as I watched Izaya cook breakfast with mild interest.

“Thanks for staying with me.” Izaya picked up a spatula and the pan he stood in front of sizzled loudly. The smell of eggs filled the kitchen.

“Don’t mention it.” I awkwardly scratched my nose as I tried my best not to feel self-conscious about Izaya’s gratitude. I couldn’t understand these feelings when I watched Izaya cook. The pink apron made him look feminine… “Ugh.” I groaned and rubbed my eyes. What was wrong with me? Izaya is a stupid louse who loves to ruin my life no matter what dimension he’s from.

“Eggs are ready.” Izaya happily proclaimed. “Natto and fried eggs.” Izaya walked over carrying two bowls with a sway in his hips and a smile on his face that was way too happy this early in the morning.

I took a swig of milk as Izaya’s hand brushed mine. “Thanks.” I muttered after I set the glass down. I couldn’t ignore the fact my heart fluttered when his fingers brushed mine.

“It’s the least I could do. I know it must be weird staying with me.” Izaya fluttered his lashes as he lifted his fork.

“Kind of.” I stabbed my fork into my bowl and swirled the contents around until the dish was tinged yellow. “The flea that lives here is a giant asshole who enjoys ruining people’s lives.” I rammed the food into my mouth and chewed angrily.

“That doesn’t sound like me.” Izaya dropped his head as he stared at the granite countertop. “I always wanted to help others.” Izaya moved a longer piece of his hair back behind his ear like a girl. “That’s one of the reasons I joined the force. Well and the fact my husband and I were going to become partners was also a motivating factor.” Izaya chuckled.

“But couldn’t you have become a doctor or whatever?” I asked quietly as I shoved the last of food in my mouth. The flea was too damn smart for his own fucking good. “The flea used to skip classes in Raijin all the time and still got top grades. He dropped out of the university though.” The thought that the classes were too difficult for him made me smirk, but I doubted that was the reason he dropped out. He probably got bored.

“Well I always enjoyed puzzles, but my Shizuo-“ Izaya let out a dreamy sigh, “Is the one who could have had any career he wanted. He’s so smart and loves to read, especially poetry.”

I dropped my fork, “So that-your Shizuo is smarter than you?” I blinked unable to imagine me smarter than the flea. A mixture of pride and jealously filled my chest and I started to wonder if maybe I should go back to school for a better career. If another Shizuo could do it, maybe I could too.

“I prefer to think we’re even in the brains department, but there is someone more intelligent than my love. He’s a bit of a psychopath though.”

“Who?” I picked up our bowls and walked them to the silver sink.

“An ex-boyfriend and friend of mine. Kashitani Shinra.”

 

**Izaya**

I stood outside the grey door without moving. I didn’t hear the monster on the other side, but I thought that the last time too. I unlocked the door and opened it discreetly as possible. My stomach clenched at the thought of Shizuo in the same bed as me once again. Shizuo’s golden mane against the black pillow case from my first night haunted my memory like a childhood fantasy. I recalled all the dreams I had about Shizu-chan in high school that pushed me to make his life miserable in the first place. I knew he would never accept me from the moment he tried to smash me with his monster strength at Raijin all those years ago. He hated me on the spot, granted Shinra didn’t make the best introduction for me nor did my clapping help the situation. I remember how jealous I became after that first fight whenever a girl would approach him or say anything about him. I didn’t understand the feeling at first until I had that first dream about him the following week after our third fight. It led me to the conclusion that if I couldn’t have the monster, no one could. Shizu-chan didn’t deserve love anyway with his superhuman strength or protozoan brain.

But, I couldn’t ignore the fact that this Izaya had everything my darkest fantasies wanted. Even if I hated it here, this idiot Izaya had the hot, intelligent beast as a lifelong mate, the cozy flat, the supportive friends and family, and was never alone. In fact I was never alone here unless I wanted to be. “Never alone.” I laughed as I placed my shoes by the doorway. “Humans are made to be alone. Love is simply biology tricking people into reproducing.” I placed my coat on the hanger and slid my feet along the wooden floor into the hallway that led right into the bedroom.

“Izaya-kun.” A throaty voice called.

I froze outside closed bedroom door and sniffed the vanilla incense that clouded the air. “Why does it smell like a bakery?” I hissed afraid what I might find if I opened the door.

“Why don’t you come find out detective?” He teased. “I seem to remember a declaration in the hospital earlier this week about showing me something?”

My face burned and I touched the door knob. Part of me wanted this, but the other resented everything I was feeling. I would not love the monster, no matter whose monster this was. I threw open the door with baited breath and almost collapsed from shock.

“It’s not nice to keep your husband waiting so long.” A shirtless Shizuo posted himself up across the bed surrounded by candles. “I might have to punish you for your behavior this week.” He winked.

I watched Shizuo’s muscles go taut and stretch as he propped himself up on his elbow like a beached merman. A pair of shiny black boxers clung to his hips. I could see the defined v of his abs as the boxers slid lower and lower. The world came to a screeching stop as Shizuo lifted himself into a sexy predatorial crouch with a smirk on his lips.

“Do you see something you like?” He smoothed his hair back in a lazy motion with a sly smirk on his lips. “Come on now love, the show has just started and you’re tongue tied already.” Shizuo clucked his tongue. “That simply won’t do.” Shizuo pushed himself up from the bed and stalked towards me like an overgrown mountain lion.

“I-I…” The blood drained from my face as I felt his arms around me. Everything was on fire-maybe this was hell. Maybe I had actually died. Should I let this fire consume me? No! I am not weak enough to give into this beast, I mentally screamed at myself as I unsuccessfully willed my limp arms to shove him away.

“Unless you’re moaning my name, I don’t want to hear another word.” Shizuo breathed in my ear. His lips brushed along my jawline until he reached my lips.

Desire swelled within me, “No, we can’t.” I whimpered pathetically. I could already feel my jeans tighten uncomfortably and the stupid beast hadn’t even touched me.

Shizuo held my chin tightly as he angled my face upwards to meet his. “Now what did I just say ‘Zaya? I just established rule one for tonight and you just broke it.” His brown eyes reflected warm gold under the candle light. “I think that deserves a punishment, don’t you?” Shizuo smirked before he pressed his lips to mine.

“I won’t play.” I moaned as my back pressed against the door. I couldn’t let myself be fooled into doing this. I am Izaya Orihara and I’m above lusting after this monster’s stupid preformance, I chided myself. I wouldn’t let myself be fooled by any of this. I shoved every fantasy I ever had about this beast even further within myself.

“You don’t want to play with me?” Shizuo brought me in for another kiss. His tongue traced my bottom lip sensually.

Blood pounded in my ears and my knees grew weak. My desire resurfaced with painful vengeance. My body wanted this, my body wanted Shizuo to ravage me. Without fully realizing it I had opened my mouth to let Shizuo force his tongue inside me. I moaned and gripped his biceps as I decided I should at least put on a little show before I end this. “Shizuo-chan.” I moaned as I lifted myself up around his neck followed by my legs wrapping around his trim waist. I let my hands wander of his toned shoulders with lust as I wanted to kiss and bite every inch of him. I could stop myself whenever I wanted, I bargained with my conflicting consciousness.

And then the phone rang. The opening to Vampire Ninja Carmilla Saizou filled the air. “It’s Kasuka.” Shizuo walked me over to the bed and laid me down. His right hand reached for his silver smartphone on the small black nightstand while his left reached for my zipper.

Quick to intervene, I grabbed his hand and shoved three of his fingers in my mouth with a smirk. I swirled my tongue around his large fingers as I suppressed my own lust by teasing him. I’m sure I could get out of this without actually having sex with him, I plotted as I moved onto Shizuo’s thumb. I already loathed myself for giving into him this far.

“Hey Kasuka, what’s up?” Shizuo glared at me probably annoyed by my teasing tongue. “What? Mom-is she alright?” Shizuo’s face paled. “I’ll be right there.” Shizuo pulled his fingers from my mouth and he hurried over to the bedroom closet. “My mom broke her foot and is in the hospital. I need to go since Kasuka is busy with work.” Shizuo did a little jump as he wiggled on a pair of jeans like a girl. “I’m sorry. We can finish when I get back.” He offered with a guilty look on his face.  

“No, it’s fine.” Internally I screamed for joy. I was saved and didn’t have to do anything. “Just tell her I-” Shizuo’s lips covered mine. My heart thumped loudly and my body began to scream for more just from a simple kiss.

“That you wish she would have fallen down a flight of stairs. I know you’re not crazy about my mom.” Shizou chuckled. “I love you.” He called over his shoulder. “We’ll finish when I get back.”

Footsteps grew fainter as I listened for the front door to open and close. Finally it did, and that meant I was free. “Free at last.” I sat up with a satisfied sigh. My heartbeat had slowed, but I was still horny. “At this rate I might end up giving into him.” I muttered and punched his pillow. “Stupid Shizu-chan.”

“Well that sure took long enough.” A familiar voice spoke from the dark hallway. “I was worried my little plan wouldn’t work. I’d hate to be stuck in that disgusting guest bathroom the whole night, but it’s a good thing the beast is as stupid and trusting as ever.”

I jumped in surprise. “You know Shinra, most people just call instead of hiding in a friend’s apartment.”

“Are we friends?” Shinra stepped into the candle lit bedroom. This Shrina’s dark hair was slicked back, his round face gave off an innocent air, but something ruined his innocence illusion that I couldn’t quite place yet.

“Of course we are. I’m happy to put the past behind us.” I answered in a velvety voice.

Shinra cracked a half smile that sent chills down my spine. “That’s funny Izaya because I know you’re not mine.” Shinra clucked his tongue. “Sleeping with another dimensional self’s husband? Don’t you have any shame?” Shinra inched closer with every word. “I’m sure you’re wondering how I know that.”

“As a matter of fact, I am.” I spoke clearly and sat up from the bed. I knew there was a spare switchblade in the nightstand that I had stashed there. I just needed to distract him.

“I’ll be willing to tell you over drinks.”

“Don’t you know I’m a married man now Shinra?” I turned my back towards the nightstand as I slyly reached for the drawer.

“Whatever you’re hoping to grab, you don’t need it. I’m not here to hurt you. You’re the one that wanted to talk to me, so let’s talk.” Shinra held his hands up in fain surrender. “After all, you’re the one that said we were friends.”

 

**Shizuo**

 

“I don’t know how to ruin people’s lives.” Izaya exclaimed. “Plus, what if your Izaya messes up my whole case!” Izaya laid his head down on the flea’s desk. “That case will be the turning point of my career and has a ton of media coverage. My career is over if your Izaya messes it up.” Izaya lifted his head to rest on his chin in the palm of his hand like a pouty child. This Izaya, I hated to admit it, was really cute.

“Maybe he won’t.” I lied. I knew better though. The flea doesn’t do anything that doesn’t help himself.

“From the person you’ve described, I would conclude he’s a narcissistic asshole. Yeah that’s fun for cop shows, but in real life you have to work with others.” Izaya sighed and picked up one of Izaya’s many cellphones. “What’s his assistant’s name again?”

“Namie something.” I grumbled.

“Ah HousewifefromhellNamie, found her.” Izaya snorted and started to type. “I should turn all of this into the police. Oh well.” Izaya dropped the phone on the desk with a dissatisfied glare. “Let’s change the topic to something pleasant. How is your brother? You have one, right?”

“Kasuka is good. Busy with a new movie and girlfriend.” I shrugged indifferently. I was happy for him, but it was awfully lonely without him around to talk to. He always understood me even when no one else bothered too. Most people viewed me as chaos incarnate. People ran away from me in droves. I wished I could make new friends even if the relationships were shallow. But, this week I hadn’t felt so lonely with this Izaya around.  

“He directs?”

“Acts. His girlfriend does makeup and sings-I mean she’s into special effects makeup and is a popstar. Rudi Hijiribe.”

“That’s cool. What about you though? Any girlfriend...girlfriends?” Izaya raised an eyebrow.

I blushed in embarrassment. “No.”

“Boyfriend?”

“No!”

“Well that doesn’t make sense. You can’t be single, especially with an ass like that.”

I stood up from the black couch. “I’m going to work.” I stomped toward the door. “Don’t talk about my…” I bit my tongue embarrassed.

“Just mine and everyone else’s observation.”

“Yeah right.” I rushed to shut the door. Everything was different now. I liked the attention from this Izaya. I liked staying with him, I realized with a sigh. “I wonder if the real Izaya could be this pleasant.”

 

**Izaya**

 

“So how long do you think it took for the beast to figure out I tricked him?” Shinra sipped his drink with a smirk. His slicked back hair gleamed under the bar light, and his dark eyes glimmered behind his glasses with mirth.

“He probably already did. This Shizu-chan isn’t stupid enough for my taste.”

“So you like the pretty dumb types?”Shinra chuckled. “That isn’t very interesting. I wouldn’t have thought you were so shallow.”

“And you’re obsessed with Celty. That isn’t very interesting.” I snapped in defense.  

“Ah, so you know about my Celty.” Shinra spun the bar chair around so he could lean his back against the counter to grin at the ceiling.

“Dotachin told me all about how you dumped your Izaya in high school for a foreign transfer student.”

Shinra turned his head towards me with his lips pressed into a thin line. “That’s a lie.”

“Dotachin wouldn’t lie to me, but you on the other hand…” I felt a cruel grin cross my lips. “You would.” I wondered how far I could push this Shinra before he snapped.  

A dark expression covered Shinra’s face. “I would never lie to you.” Shinra leaned into me to whisper the rest, “If you come with me, you’ll know the truth.” Shinra’s hand slid closer to mine on the nasty bar counter.

I could smell the alcohol on his breath, feel the knot in my stomach that screamed danger, yet this was Shinra. Shinra who was the only true friend I ever had. But, this wasn’t really my Shinra. This Shinra took over gangs with who knows what means. “Why don’t you explain everything right here?”

“There are multiple reasons as to why we can’t stay. The first being your monster is chasing us down as we speak-” Shinra pulled out his phone from his lab coat in a fluid motion, “And we are friends after all. Don’t you trust your friends Izaya?” Shinra asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  

Everything screamed for me to run away, “I don’t trust anyone, especially you Shinra. But, I will go with you and if you screw me over-“ I glared, “I’ll sick Shizu-chan on you and your pet monster.”

 

**Shizuo**

 

“So, how’s the situation with...Izaya?” Tom scratched his head.

“He’s way better than the real flea that’s for sure. I wouldn’t even care if the real flea ever came back.”

“Well I hate to burst your bubble Shizuo, but he’s probably going to come back.”

“I know.” I responded gruffly. “But if he never does, this city will be a better off without him.” I felt a torn feeling build inside me. “I don’t miss him.” I don’t.

 

**Izaya**

 

“Why would you drag me back out to this place?” I stepped out of Shinra’s black sedan that he drove himself. It was an odd sight to be sure. “You’ve been awfully quiet on our drive here.”

“Sorry, I’m not very good at driving and had to focus.” Shinra locked the car with a smile. “But, I brought you back here to show you something that you probably missed in your investigation earlier.” Shinra entered the same warehouse I was in just hours ago. He opened the small side door to the left of the large equipment entrance. “You’re probably wondering what you could have missed in here. I’ll admit it doesn’t look like much at first glance.” Shinra entered the dark building without fear.

I glared into the inky blackness before I stepped forward. “I bet you have a hidden room here in somewhere filled with pictures of Celty.”

“Oh ‘Zaya, I wouldn’t leave something that precious here.” Shinra stood behind me. “I have all of that and more at home. But, you know what I don’t have?”

“It was a trap this whole time.” I whispered into the as I felt tenticles grab my limbs. “I suppose I knew all along. I must say Shinra that you’ve exceeded my expectations for you.” I laughed as I felt a needle dive into the flesh. “I knew you wanted to play all along. You’ll be fun to play with Shinra.” I giggled drunk on this new and exciting Shinra.

“You’re an odd one, aren’t you? Oh well, back to what I was saying. The one thing I love but don’t have-” Shinra breathed on the back of my neck as I felt his arms surround me, “I don’t have you Izaya. That’s all about to change soon though. Everything is falling into place.”

“Shinra, you truly are an interesting human, but I’m afraid I can’t return your feelings. I love all humans, but not-not you…alone.” Fingers ran through my hair as I let out one last laugh before I fell unconscious.


	6. The Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinra is basically that dog your friend has that humps you whenever you go over to visit.
> 
> Izaya has a small break through in the feels department while Shizuo continues to be the angry problem child.

**Izaya**

_The afternoon sunlight glowed around us after classes had let out. I recollected the rumors I heard throughout the day of a blond monster who threw desks and street signs that a couple of girls called Shizu-chan as I followed Shinra out onto that fateful field with a fervor I hadn’t felt before. I ached with curiosity that could only be satisfied by meeting this monstrosity that already plagued Raijin on the very first day of school. “That’s Heiwajima Shizuo.” Shinra whispered upon our entrance to the field. I watched bloody bodies fly like kites through the air as Shizuo beat everyone and everything that came his way. It didn’t matter that the guys had knifes, bats, or metal poles. Shizuo reeked utter destruction upon them with ease. We walked over to a bench out of harm’s while the sounds of bones crunching rang in our ears. I sat on the edge of the bench with Shinra chirping in my ear as he listed all the bones that these boys probably had broken taking on Shizuo. I was horrified-electrified, yet from that very first moment I watched that beast throw himself into battle against my humans, I was hooked. The power that flowed through that body was unnatural, I reasoned. He couldn’t be human._

_Finally the battle had concluded, and Shizuo stood in the center of the field like a lone knight surrounded by his fallen enemies with only his golden hair and a sheen of sweat that gleamed in the sun instead of armor. My hands moved before I fully realized what I did. The sound of my clapping filled the arena. Granted it was an asshole move on my part, but I maybe I just wanted to see that fury in his eyes when they met mine. I wanted to tame that fury. I wanted to tame that monster with the blond hair. I wanted him. In a split second a large fist flew at me. “IZAYAAA!”_

“Where am I?” I sat up with grunt. My head hurt, my arms felt sore, and my vision was blurry. “It’s like waking up from a bad hangover.” I groaned and rubbed my eyes. A white figure shifted into focus in front of me.

“You’re awake! I’m so happy although I could have watched you all night.” Shinra’s face glowed with idiotic love like when he talked about his beloved Celty. “We’re at my house right now in the living room. Cool isn’t it? I never thought I’d be a homeowner, but I couldn’t say no to my two lovely housewives. Well I guess they aren’t really housewives. Not completely though. They help me with my business when I need it.” Shinra chuckled as he scooted across the deep brown, wooden floor towards me looking far too eager.

A realization hit me through the mental fog, “Two?” I couldn’t picture Shinra with anyone but Celty even if this Shinra was crazy. Of course this Shinra was crazy, he wanted a relationship with me of all people. Even I knew that was a terrible decision.

Shinra snapped his fingers, “That’s right! You don’t know because you were unconscious. I guess I forgot about that when I explained everything.” Shinra rubbed his chin. “I got carried away again, huh. Well you see my father, late father, found Celty in Ireland and stole her head. I still remember seeing her for the first time-so beautiful!” Shinra gushed like a school girl and clasped his hands together.

“Point please.” I said in annoyance.

“Right, right. So anyway we stole her head and put it on a dead body, well I mean my father did but I helped with the process too. That was one of the first surgeries I ever preformed. My father wasn’t the best dad. I mean letting a four year old put a mystical dullahan head on a corpse isn’t something I would let my kids do.”

Celty’s head on another person’s body… “I thought Yagiri Pharmaceuticals was doing experiments like that under Namie Yagiri.” What I would give to be back in my own apartment with Namie as she bitched about how crazy I was and pulled apart my plans. What would she think of this Shinra, I wondered. She would probably be terrified if she met this Shinra; I was a little terrified of this Shinra.

Shinra gave me a confused look, “Nebula bought out Yagiri years ago Izaya. Almost a decade ago. But, I guess we do come from two different worlds, so it’s not like you’d know that.” Shinra’s hand patted my thigh as he sat on the ground in front of me. “You should really be laying down if you’re not feeling well. You’re looking pale.”

“I’m not feeling well because you injected me.” I snapped and laid my head against a black couch cushion. I knew Shinra just wanted to pet me like some dog, which was probably why he was on the floor like a perverted little snake waiting to strike. “Touch my hair again and I’ll snap your fingers one by one.” I hissed.

“That’s no fun ‘Zaya.” Shinra pouted. “I’m really glad you decided to join me though. I really missed you.” Shinra snuggled his head against my arm. “It’s been so horrible! Well not exactly horrible since I have my two amazing gals, but seeing you married to that-that asshole!” Shinra’s eyes narrowed. “But, it’s all forgiven now that we’re together again.” Shinra hastily grabbed my arm into a death thrall.

I glared in irritation at his uncalled for affection, “No wonder Celty punches you.” I shifted my arm. “I’m not even your Izaya. You don’t know anything about me.” I clenched my left fist ready to punch Shinra if he kept this act up.

Shinra wrapped his right hand around my bicep as he continued to nuzzle my arm he had taken hostage, “But I love you Izaya. I always have. It doesn’t matter if you’re not the one I grew up with. I’m in love with who you are on the inside.”

“Never say that again Shinra. That was one of the most revolting things I have ever heard.” I shook my arm fully exasperated by his behavior. I watched his dark head bounce while he clung with both arms in desperation.

“But that’s how I feel! I can’t fight the feeling of love.” Shinra gushed and started to move his torso nearer to mine.

“Don’t.”

Shinra lifted himself onto the couch and wrapped his legs through mine with a wide grin on his smug face before I could kick him off. He hugged the right side of my body. Shinra stared at me with an eager open smile as if he dared me to return his affection or knock him off the couch.

“Get off me you perverted idiot.” I frowned. “You’re worse than an embarrassing pet dog that humps guest’s legs.”

“I’d hump you if you’d like.” He leaned his grinning face towards mine.

I shoved my left hand in his face, “No Shinra.” Shinra’s face collided with my palm, and the impact loosened his grip on my side so I was finally able to throw him off. “Did you just bring me here to sexually harass me or does me being here have a point?” I rolled over on my right side to smirk at the doctor on his ass with his lab coat over his face.

“So cruel just like Celty.” Shinra sniffed.

“Are both of them named Celty?” I asked bored of this already. Shinra had done nothing but interrupt Shizuo and I then drag me to who knows where to act like a needy kola. I could have gotten a blow job tonight from Shizuo or more but unfortunately I was cockblocked by Shinra, I internally sighed. I was annoyed and horny. I bet Shizuo is flipping his shit, I smirked at the wooden ceiling. I pictured Shizuo ripping up ‘Bukuro looking for me with his rippling muscles and those Carmel brown eyes ready to take me…

“Of course not. Celty is the dullahan and Certy is the human.” Shinra stared at me from the floor dejected. “I want to move back to where we were.” He whined.

“I do not. Shinra, as much as I enjoy spending time with you, even though you were being an insufferable pervert our entire encounter, I would really love to get back to Shizu-chan and stop him from creating his own monster movie.” I sat up from the black leather couch with a grimace. My right shoulder hurt. 

“So soon? It’s only been two hours.” Shinra frowned and flipped his wrist to look at his watch. “Huh, I guess it’s been longer than two hours. Let me text Celty to give you a ride back; I can tell you’re getting cranky since you won’t let me cuddle you.” Shinra pulled a black smart phone from inside his lab coat pocket. He quickly texted something then paused, “You’re more than welcome to sleep here if you want.” 

“No thanks. I’d rather sleep with the monster.” I stood up from the couch and stretched my arms over my head.

“Aw, ‘Zaya. That hurt my feelings.” Shinra covered his heart as he sent a text with his left hand. “You’ll just have to make it up to me later.” He wiggled his brows suggestively.

Bile rose from the back of my throat at the thought, “Could you not be such a lustful twit Shinra. It’s appalling and grating on my nerves.”

“I’ll work on it. Celty will be here in a minute.” Shinra jumped up. “We should hangout tomorrow.”

 “I’ll think about it.”

“But, I didn’t even give you a hint as to what my plans are.” Shinra flung himself onto the black couch in the exact spot I had been sitting in. “Doesn’t that annoy you?”

“Not as much as your behavior right now.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

“Aw shoot. I thought you would have preferred me this way. I promise to behave better if we hangout tomorrow.”

“We’ll see about tomorrow.” My eyes narrowed as I searched my pockets for my phone. “Shinra, where is my phone?”

“In your coat by the door. Don’t worry, I let Shizuo know you were with me this entire time.” Shinra leaned back with his arms behind his head.

A few things became very clear in that moment. “Shinra, you wouldn’t happen to have done that just to purposely aggravate him into a rampage, or did you send gang members after him to do that?” My eyes narrowed as I observed this Shinra.

Shinra rocked forward with a giddy smile, “So you finally figured it out? I didn’t realize my affection threw you off so much. I thought you would have pieced things together sooner.” He chuckled amused at my expression. 

“Are you deliberately trying to ruin my marriage?” I questioned in a teasing tone, but my right hand clenched into a fist. For some odd reason, I was upset by Shinra’s confession. Personally, I viewed myself as the only one worthy of ruining Shizuo. I took great pleasure in the chaos I created in his life for a multitude of reasons. One of them being that I was sexually attracted to Shizu-chan, but it was nothing more than that. If I ruined his life, I could ensure that I would never have any competition because no sane woman would want to deal with his inhuman outbursts of rage. Also, provoking his fury was just too damn fun for me to stay away. On some level I knew that my Shizuo hobby was obsessive and kept me from a meaningful relationship with anyone else, but I couldn’t make myself stop. I blamed Shizuo for this of course. He never did what I wanted him too, and his stupidity portrayed him innocently endearing which was a quality I lacked. None of this accounted for that fact that either Shizuo was far too handsome for his own good. This dimension’s Shizuo knew it too with his indecent display in the bedroom from last night...

Shinra’s shrug pulled me from my thoughts. “Possibly. I guess you’ll have to figure it out later detective. Celty is out front. You can show yourself out, right? The front door is right at the end of that hallway.” Shinra pointed from the couch with obvious complacency.  

“If we spend time together tomorrow, I would like to play chess.” I wanted to knock that smugness off his face. I was always better at chess than Shinra in middle school and beating him would bring me a sense of nostalgia.

A cold smile spread across Shinra’s face as he probably realized I hoped to learn who was a better strategist from our game. “Sounds like fun. Good night ‘Zaya. Let me know when you get sick of sleeping with that beast. My bed is always open.”

**Shizuo**

“Shizuo, I may have made a break through.” Shinra chased me down the side walk out of breath. “My dad may have figured out how to get Izaya back home and get ours back.”

“Oh?” My right hand twitched at the thought of the flea skipping around ‘Bukuro again.

“Well it’s nothing for sure yet. It might take a couple days too. We need Izaya for testing. Do you think you’d be able to come? I doubt he’d come back to the lab without you.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Will Celty pick us up, or do you want us to just meet at your place?”

“If you could walk over to our place, she can take you the rest of the way there. I’d really appreciate if you could.”

“Fine with me.” I pulled out my cell to shoot Izaya a quick text only to see he had sent me ten text messages earlier.

_9:04 a.m. Izaya: Namie is trying to come in! Help me!_

_10:09 a.m. Izaya: She’s in the office and she’s a complete bitch._

_10:11 a.m. Izaya: Shizuo, save me pleasseeee_

_11:00 a.m. Izaya: I have no idea what she’s saying half the time._

_11:20 a.m. Izaya: I made her leave, but you’re not going to like what I told her._

_11:22 a.m. Izaya: Please don’t hate me._

 11: 23 a.m. _Izaya: I may have told her you were coming over and she’s like ew what for and I was like um…and she was like omg I knew you were fucking! And I was like X( because I didn’t know for sure if you weren’t_

_11:23 a.m. Izaya: I mean there’s no way you aren’t gettin’ any with your ass in that hot uniform. ;D_

_11:24 a.m. Izaya: So she now thinks we’re fucking-well you and the Izaya that’s normally here…_

_11:24 a.m. Izaya: please answer, I’m super sorryyyy :”( I can tell her I was joking_

I groaned as I read all of his texts. “He’s like a girl.” I muttered and sent a short response of _I don’t care what she thinks. Coming over soon._ I really didn’t care if his assistant thought we were…doing that. “She’s a horrible person anyway.” I muttered under my breath. I really didn’t like the fact he used me to get out of Izaya’s workload though.  

_Izaya: Are you just saying that?:(_

_No_

_Izaya: Sounds like you are_ _☹_

 _I’m not. I’ll be there soon._ “He’s like a fucking girlfriend.” I shook my head.

“Well if he’s annoying you that much, why are you smiling?” Shinra raised his brow and cocked a grin. “I always knew you two would get along with each other.”

“It’s a different flea. It’s not rocket science.”

“Maybe it’s something more?” Shinra teased as he leaned in closer to me. “It’s not like you’ve ever had a girlfriend to annoy you before he came along.”

I gripped the collar of his shirt in my right fist. “Anything else you’d like to add?” My forehead throbbed with repressed rage that built throughout the day.

“Nope! Just a misunderstanding. Don’t mind me, I’ll see you later!” Shinra dropped to the ground and jogged away with a wave.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and started to walk towards the flea’s apartment. I checked my phone one last time before I put it away for good.

_Izaya: Just be safe. See you soon_

“Ugh. Why does he have to be so…cute?” My heart thudded in my chest as I gave a wistful smile. It was nice to have someone that worried about me other than Celty, Kasuka, and Tom. “Maybe the real flea could feel the same way someday.”

**Izaya**

Dullahan Celty zoomed us back into Ikebukuro in record time. The helmet she created for me was completely dark till we approached the city. Only then did she provide an opening, but I only knew now that Shinra lived twenty minutes to the west outside of the city. That was a start. Riding with her was oddly terrifying, but I was so tired I couldn’t really muster up the proper amount of fear. Everything was going pretty well until we reached 60th street.

A lamppost crashed onto the street in front of us out of nowhere. Celty skidded her bike to a screeching halt. There was hardly anyone around, so at least Shizuo wouldn’t get in too much trouble. “That idiot isn’t thinking of his job at all.” I muttered. Not like I’d care if he got fired.

“You!” Shizuo growled. He clamped towards us like the angry beast he was. He was a perfect replica of my Shizuo only he was dressed in simple, straight black jeans and a white v-neck tee shirt with no sunglasses.

My hands shook a little out of habit without my knife when I watched him close in on us, but Shizuo did the unexpected. He pulled me off the bike and set me down behind him like I was a child that needed to be protected. I watched his muscular shoulders flex as he grabbed Celty by the base of her neck and lift her. Her yellow cat eared helmet miraculous stayed on.

“You tell that pervert to stay the fuck away from Izaya.” Shizuo’s animalistic voice howled as his fingers clenched so tight they turned snow white against Celty’s black suit. “I will kill both of you if either of you ever go near him again.” Shizuo’s voice was ice cold as he dropped Celty on her ass. “Don’t even bother fighting me tonight. I’m too tired.” Shizuo turned his back to her as he scooped me up in his arms.

“You really didn’t need to do that or this.” I yawned. I’d had enough excitement for one day.

“Are you alright?” Shizuo asked before he pressed his lips to my forehead.

“I’m fine. I’m not a child! I don’t need be held or kissed.” I huffed as I wriggled in his grasp.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was? This is for me. I was so scared I lost you.” Shizuo gripped me tighter. “I thought that maniac would try experimenting on you or I’d find you in pieces scattered around the city.”

“I’m fully capable of taking care of myself around Shinra. He’s just a love stuck idiot.”

“He’s dangerous and certifiably insane.”

“So, did you tear up the city looking for me or did you fight some gangs?” I changed the subject. I felt defensive about his bashing on Shinra even though I wasn’t particularly fond of this Shinra after tonight’s encounter.   

“Both. Three groups came after me while I was looking for you everywhere. That four eyed asshole only texted me you were with him an hour ago. I had no idea where you were. I looked everywhere.”

“So, we’re going to have to pay some fines when we get home?” I sighed. I never bothered to calculate how much Shizuo’s boss actually had to pay for the damages he cost his company, and I didn’t exactly have an enormous budget to work with here.

Shizuo sighed, “Yeah. I couldn’t help it. I was so angry and frustrated…it was like high school all over again.” Shizuo’s muscles when ridged. “Nemo me impune lacessit.” He muttered under his breath so assuredly like a prayer.

“A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser.” I closed my eyes quoted one of the few lines I could recall of the top of my head from that story. “Poe? Really Shizu-chan, can’t you level up to Shakespeare?” I said wryly.

“We’re covering the story tomorrow in class. It was the first thing that came to mind.”

I leaned against his chest with a small sigh. “We’ll have to expand your literary range.” He smelled wonderful with a deep, musky masculine scent that drove me to desire every inch of his flesh against mine. I nuzzled my face against him ashamed of my desires. I needed to get laid bad. I could go back to fully hating the monster afterwards, I mentally concluded with the oddest feeling of denial. “Can you put me down now?” I needed to distance myself from him.

Shizuo gave me one last squeeze, “Yeah.” He set me down on the side walk before anyone saw us.

I was surprised at how empty the city was at three in the morning here. My body felt cold against the early morning air even with my coat, but I wasn’t about to admit that to Shizuo after he just put me down.

“Gentlemen, it’s a little late to be walking around.” An officer approached us. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that lamp post in the street?” As the officer neared, his eyes went wide. “D-detective Heiwajima. I didn’t recognize you out of uniform.” Under the street light the man appeared young with an earnest face, tired brown eyes, and messy brown hair under his hat.

“No problem, we were just heading home. Come along dear.” The words burned my tongue like acid, but Shizuo looked happy holding hands. Once a dumb monster, always a dumb monster.

 

 

**Shizuo**

“There’s absolutely nothing amazing about him.” Shingen threw down his clipboard on a nearby counter in a fit of anger.

“Thanks.” Izaya crossed his arms over his light blue hospital gown.

“No offense Orihara.”

“Heiwajima.” Izaya corrected.

My fists clenched a little in annoyance, but he was married to another version of me. I guess it was his right to use my name.

“My bad.” Shingen flipped through papers without an ounce of sincerity. “Well at least if you get hurt during your stay here, Shinra can take care of you.” Shingen rolled around on his chair as he made different stops around the small, painfully white lab. “It’s such a shame that boy never pursued a higher calling rather than being some back alley doctor.”

“I wonder who’s fault that was.” Izaya muttered under his breath.

“So Shinra said you had a break through.” I spoke up for the first time since our arrival.

“Oh right, so a colleague of mine wants to meet Izaya and study him in hopes of discovering solid evidence that parallel dimensions exist. He’s one of the leading physicists in his field of multidimensional study.” Shingen answered while he wrote on another clipboard.

“Oh cool. Are we meeting him today?” I asked.

“Unless you board a plane to Chicago, no.”

My stomach fell. Izaya would never go all the way to Chicago without me.

“I’m not going all the way to Chicago alone!” Izaya jumped in fear on the silver operating table. “I haven’t even been to the United States before.” His voice trembled.

I sighed with a sinking feeling that I knew exactly where this was going. “Can’t he just come here?”

“Oh sure. Let me call him up and tell him to move the whole physics department to Japan for a perfectly mobile specimen that could easily just get on a plane and go there.”

I glared annoyed at Shingen. “You’re starting to piss me off.”

“Oh relax Shizuo.” Shingen shooed away my threat with a wave of his hand. “I think a vacation would be good for both of you. I bet it would only be a week.”

“A week?” I gritted my teeth.

“Or two.” Shingen’s voice pitched upwards.

“Why do I get the feeling your lying.”

“Okay, possibly a month.”

“I can’t take off work for a month! Tom needs me.”

“But all expenses will be covered. It’s not everyday you get a free vacation.”

“I agree with Shizuo. I don’t want to be stuck in a lab for a month.” Izaya stood up from the metal table and grabbed his clothes that were folded on a nearby chair.

“Oh you’re just saying that because you’re married to him.” Shingen said in annoyed tone.

“Yes and no.” Izaya replied coolly.

I leaned my head back against the white wall annoyed by this messed up situation. “When would we leave?” I asked defeated. I already knew it was useless to argue anymore. Izaya needed to go home and he wouldn’t go without me. I might as well save myself the trouble of being guilted into it.

“How about tomorrow?”

Izaya left the lab. He probably went into the bathroom across the hall to change instead of behind the small, beige curtain that hung in the far right corner of the lab.

“I would have to talk to Izaya about it.” My hands itched. The whole situation was making me feel uncomfortable like I really was his husband.

“Nonsense. I already purchased your tickets! I’ll email them to you.” Shingen hummed.

“You can’t just pull shit like that.” I snapped.

“Oh relax Shizuo, you would have talked yourself out of going if I hadn’t bought them today.”

“Probably because it’s a shitty idea for a shitty trip.” Anger began to build inside my body. It would scream for release soon. I needed to get out of here before I broke something expensive.

“You don’t know it will be shitty. It could be one of the best experiences of your life!” Shingen wheeled himself over to me. “Why I remember my first trip to the states. It was fantastic! Completely different culture there, plus the cost of living in Illinois is ridiculously cheap compared to living in Tokyo! Well as long as you don’t live in Chicago.” Shingen scratched his chin under his pig like mask. “The pizza is fantastic too. I think you’ll have a fun trip.”

“That makes one of us.”   

**Izaya**

_“So are we hangingout tonight?”_ Shinra texted me at noon.

“So, Shizuo told me about what happened last night.” Kadota, right on schedule, popped up next to me.

“Stupid Shizu-chan.” I muttered. _I’ll see._ I texted back quickly before I turned to Dotachin. “Look it wasn’t a big deal and you have to stop gossiping with him. You’re my partner not his therapist.” I spun my chair back to my laptop. “And we shouldn’t be talking about that in the office.”

“Shizuo sure made it sound like a big deal.” Kadota pulled up a chair and plopped down next to me. “He was really worried and wanted to talk to me about it.”

“Do you see my point about the therapist?”

“Both of you are my friends, but I want to figure why you went against everything I told you about going to see Shinra!” Kadota leaned into me to hiss in my ear without causing a scene. “You’re lucky Shizuo didn’t start throwing buses or grab a helicopter out of the air midflight to search for you, asshole!”

“First of all Dotachin, I don’t think Shizu-chan can jump high enough to grab a helicopter out of the air.”

“Izaya.” His tone warned.

“Well at first I saw Shinra by choice, then he decided to shake things up by drugging and kidnapping me. I made sure to scold him for that unappreciated course of action.” I pulled my laptop closer to my chest to continue to type my notes for the case. I actually enjoyed working in an office… to an extent. I could observe all my fellow co-workers like that homophobic asshole Reo. He always read the morning paper during his lunch, had a medium black coffee, and proceeded to take a smoke break at 2:30. He wasn’t the most interesting person, but he reminded me a lot of Shiki in the sense it was hard to find a chink in the armor of indifference he wore every day. The only thing I could really figure out about him disapproved of my marriage simply because I was married to a man.     

“Was that before or after you went to that bar near the main plaza by the train station?”

I stopped typing. “How did you know?”

“I was there you idiot. I seriously should smack you upside the head for doing that! You never drink around unsavory characters. Didn’t your parents teach you not to talk to psychopaths?”

A picture of my nonexistent parents flashed through my mind, “Not in so many words.” How funny that Shinra was the outcast here, I mused. Perhaps I sympathized with Shinra on some level. It was normally me that was alone, but here I was always surrounded by others that loved Izaya. Men and women all flocked around me like I was a bright ball of sunshine. At first I was appalled, but now I welcomed it. My job as an information broker would be a breeze if everyone trusted me at home as they did here.  

“Well you don’t, and I side with Shizuo. That nut could have killed you! He’s a suspect in our case according to you.”

“Dotachin, you’re getting on my nerves with your self-riotousness.” I rubbed my temple aggravated. “I don’t want to put up with it today.”

“Better than having you get killed! This case isn’t worth your life.”

“Shinra won’t kill me.” I slammed my hands on either side of my laptop. “Shinra is head over heels for me. He blubbered on and on about how much he missed me. The only thing he would kill is Shizuo.”

“That alone is reason enough to stay away. You need to get your head out of this case. It’s turning you into a different person.”

“You have no idea.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Nemo me impune lacessit basically means no one attacks me with impunity and it's from Poe's short story The Cask of Amontillado, which is what I kind of figured freshmen in high school would cover so I threw a reference in there. I covered it my freshmen year. 
> 
> Someone was wondering if I based dimension 2 Shizuo/Izaya off of Psyche & Delic. I did borrow some aspects but I kind of wanted to make them into their own persons. Hopefully I get to work on that character development in future chapters. 
> 
> I spent way more time editing, so hopefully my writing is improving. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. The Drunken Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mmm, so do you mean our Izaya is pretty like a girl?” Shingen asked as the elevator jerked to a stop.  
> My brain became confused. “Yeah, I guess so.” I frowned.  
> “But, I thought you hated him.”  
> I shook my head, “No. He’s just an asshole, and-and I just can’t ever catch him.”  
> “Interesting. So, what would you do if you caught him.”  
> “I would beat the shit out of him.” I hiccuped and leaned even more on Izaya who wasn't the one I wanted. “With my mouth.”

**Shizuo**

“I fucking hate flying.” I grunted between lifting all our luggage into Togusa’s van. “Thanks for waking up early to drive us. I appreciate it.”

Before Saburo could even answer, Erika jumped in. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Her dark eyes glittered happily as she watched me pack the van. Too happily.

“It’s fine Shizuo, we’re happy to help a friend.” Saburo yawned. “But, that autograph from Ruri?”

“Yeah, I’ll call Kasuka when we come back from our trip. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” I threw the last bag in the back and shut the door. “Where is Kadota?”

“Dotachin had to go into work early, so he couldn’t make it.” Erika answered.

I nodded in acknowledgement as I lowered myself into the passenger's seat. I glanced behind me to see Erika fangirling over Izaya who had a fluffy black blanket tucked around his shoulders, his peaceful face downcast with wisps of black hair over his eyes as his head leaned against the seat. He looked so serene-so innocent.

“At least the traffic isn’t so bad.” Walker commented. “I almost feel like we’re right in a scene from-“

“With the fairies?” Erika interrupted.

“No with the sailor scouts!”

Erika and Walker’s voice droned on and on from the back. I had no idea how Izaya could sleep through all of that crap.

“So, what are you doing these days Togusa?”

He shrugged while he pulled away from the flea’s apartment that I stayed at. Again. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“I wish I could say that.”

 

**Izaya**

 

“Saturday.” I rubbed my eyes. “How the hell would I get out spending time with Romeo now?” I leaned my head back against the elegant metal headboard that cooled my neck. Shizuo had crept out of bed earlier and I heard metal clang from the kitchen. “Who would have thought the fortissimo of Ikebukuro could actually be a decent housewife.” I smirked. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine my Shizuo clumsily cooking for me in my apartment back home.

“Hun, breakfast is ready if you want to eat before yoga class.” Shizuo’s voice carried from the kitchen.

“Yoga class?” I groaned in disgust at the thought of Shizuo contorting his body in complicated ways surrounded by women. My chest burned as I swung myself out of bed. “I’m not jealous.” I muttered. I would not be jealous. It would be completely irrational for me to be jealous. This wasn’t even my husband or my Shizuo. Shizuo wasn’t even mine. “Ridiculous.” My feet padded softly against the dark wood floor as I turned left and entered the living room area before turning left again into the kitchen. Shizuo’s back faced me as he bent himself over the black stove.

Shizuo spun around to face me with a dazzling too white smile. He obviously bleached even though I hadn’t seen him do so yet. “Morning.” Shizuo stood in black and blue athletic wear that predominantly defined his torso and regrettably his very firm ass. “Keep staring and you’ll have to wipe that drool off your face.”

“Tct.” I clucked my tongue and took a seat at the square dark wooden table. I glared at the glass of milk and water Shizuo had already set for me. Why did he have to be so revoltingly considerate? “So where is this yoga class?”

“Same place as always.” Shizuo raised a brow. “If you’re not feeling well…”

“I’m fine.” I huffed defensively. I would not let him keep me cooped up inside again with his unnecessary husbandly concern.

“If you say so.” Shizuo slipped a yellow omelet onto a maroon plate. “I just want you to know it’s okay to admit the other day shook you up.”

“Not this again.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine _dear_.” My term of endearment dripped in sarcasm, but Shizuo didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest.

“Well Shinra won’t be when I shove his head up his ass.” Shizuo dropped his matching plate rather hard against the table.

I closed my eyes as I shoved the fluffy omelet into my mouth. I chewed quietly as I contemplated what I should do next.

“I know, I know.” Shizuo stabbed his omelet with a frustrated groan. “Violence is never the answer.”

“Honestly Shizu-chan, this conversation is too heavy for breakfast and I particularly don’t want to deal with it right now.” I shoved the last bit of breakfast into my mouth and swallowed without tasting.

“You and your nicknames.” He sighed before shoveling a heap of yellow egg into his mouth.

I observed him in depth for what seemed like the hundredth time since I’ve arrived in this dimension. His blond hair that gleamed in the morning rays that streamed through the east window, his caramel brown eyes unfocused underneath long black lashes, and his large hands clenched around his morning cup of coffee. His face was relaxed unlike the beast back home. I can only recall a handful of times I’ve ever witnessed the protozoa brained idiot look remotely happy…unless he was eating something sweet. This Shizuo was the mature version of him, the smarter version, but sadly the annoyingly overprotective version of him. I suppose that was an improvement from the animal that tried to bash me with a vending machine whenever he laid eyes on me. Shouldn’t I desire this version-only sexually of course, I mentally reasoned.This Shizuo 2.0 was practically perfect, yet something lacked in our fake relationship. It could be the sex we haven’t had yet, I mused over my glass of water. I barely registered that Shizuo was no longer across from me as I explored these thoughts.

“Dear, it’s time to go if we want to make the class unless you’d rather spend our morning at home?” His velvet voiced insinuation made me shiver. Shizuo lazed by the front door with a drawstring bag in his hand. His blue athletic shirt defined his narrow waist and made me want to yank it off to explore the body beneath it.

“Let’s just go.” I stood up from the table and followed Shizuo’s well defined ass out the door. It’s only lust, I mentally recited over and over again. “I need to get out of here.”  

 

**Shizuo**

 

“I fucking hate flying.” I muttered. Izaya’s head rested in the crook of my neck as I rubbed my tired eyes. A group of girls in front of us kept staring and whispering while I tried to ignore them since Izaya was determined to sleep on me throughout the entire flight. That meant the whispers and snickering lasted the entire flight- all 12 hours. They were like a gaggle of Erikas and they chattered the whole trip about us and other stupid things. I had given up shoving Izaya off of me when the angry elderly couple to our left glared at my ever attempt to move Izaya from my personal space, which pissed me off even more even more the girls.  

Finally the plane began to shake and the fasten seatbelt sign flashed above. “Finally.” I leaned my head back and wished we were in our hotel room already. I needed a nap.

The plane dove and I watched the ground race towards us and slow as the plane skidded to a halt on the long roadway. I saw four other large white planes near us as our plane pulled in towards a huge grey building with large windows. A loud clunk sounded, which I could only assume was the plane connecting to the jetway. After a couple of minutes, the flight attendants began to excuse us by rows.

“Excuse me young man.” The elderly man to our left spoke in japanese.

“Yeah?” I was dead tired and wanted Izaya off of me and out of my hair now. I knew I was being rude, but I couldn’t muster any motivation to care.

“Could you help us with our bags, please?”

I sighed, “Of course.” I gave a sleepy Izaya a shove off my shoulder only to find my shirt had a wet spot. I crunched the plastic cup in my right fist out of sight from their field of vision and reminded myself to take deep breaths. I couldn’t afford to replace an entire plane.

I stood on shaky legs and moved past them to the little beige bin overhead and pulled out their bags and then ours. After I set our bags on my empty seat, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I glanced to my right to see the girls that sat in front of us all staring at me until one of them pointed to their overhead bin.

“You need help too?”

The girls nodded in unison and were way too into watching me pull out their brightly colored bags. They whispered and one with long, black hair smiled. “Thank you.” She gave a little bow and they ran into the crowd that rushed off the plane.

“We’re here already?” Izaya sat up with sleepy brown eyes and messy black strands of hair that stood up on the left side of his head.

“We landed about fifteen minutes ago.” I needed a smoke. My body started to shake from sleep deprivation and nicotine withdrawal.

“Oh, I guess I should get up then.” Izaya gave a small yawn and stretched his lean arms overhead to reveal his toned stomach.

I looked away angrier than before for some reason. “Let’s just get off this deathtrap before I break it.”

“Alright.” Izaya yawned again and took his pink bag. Izaya led me through the motions of going through customs, security check points, retrieving our luggage, and finally leaving the over crowded place. We stood in the middle of Chicago O’hare airport with a dozen different languages that buzzed around us. I couldn’t understand my uneasiness in the airport. I should be used to being surrounded by lots of people. I live in Tokyo for fucks sake. A wave of homesickness and insecurity hit me as I watched people dressed in all sorts of different clothing rush past us hit me. Some people were covered head to toe in all black while others were barely covered at all. A hot brunette passed us in gym shorts and a tank.

“Well she’s certainly something. You should go talk to her.” Izaya nudged me.

“No, we need to wait for our ride anyway.” My face burned at the thought of talking to her. “Besides my English is shit. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“You don’t need to say anything. The language of love is all-”

I gave Izaya a light smack with my black bag. “Knock that off!”

“Well don’t get embarrassed Shizuo-kun. It’s only natural.” Izaya’s face changed to something mischievous, “Unless you’d rather speak to that guy over there.” Izaya hinted at a tall messy haired brunet in a business suit. He had a cellphone pressed against his left ear and hurried away.

“Would you cut that out before I get pissed and shove your head up your-”

“Shizuo, Izaya, I’m so glad to see you’re getting along so well!” Shingen approached us...without his mask.

I made a weird face, “Shingen?”

“Wow, you are the spitting image of Shinra.” Izaya said with a stunned expression.  

“I know, I get that a lot. Shinra despises hearing that for some odd reason.” Shingen turned on his heels, “Now this way boys so we can get out of this mad house.”

I followed Shingen’s white lab coat at a brisk pace. For being an older guy, he sure walked fast. He led us out through a set of glass doors and into a yellow taxi with a shady looking Indian man in the driver's seat on the left side. I almost forgot that Americans drive on the opposite side.

City scenery whizzed by us as our driver took us further and further into the city. Shingen pointed out landmarks that I gazed at with half lidded eyes that felt heavier with every minute.

“It’s okay to sleep.”

I closed my eyes to the sensation of Izaya’s fingers running through my hair.

 

**Izaya**

If I was sent to my own version of hell, I would be sent to a hot yoga class surrounded by straight couples as they oohed and ahhed over Shizuo and I because our ‘perfect’ relationship was some yoi fairytale fantasy in their eyes. Normally observing said humans would make me happy, but for some reason this attention made me gag on bile that rose in the back of my throat every time someone brought up how cute we were. I was also unpleasantly drenched in sweat. Needless to say, I was not having a great Saturday.  

“I feel so much better!” Shizuo announced by my side as he toweled off with the small blue towel he was smart enough to bring, yet failed to remind me to bring one. Perhaps he wasn’t as considerate as I originally thought.  

“Probably because you're dehydrated and not in your right mind.”

“Could you not right now, babe?” Shizuo hissed through a forced smile.”It’s bad enough you wore that here.”

“Why? Are you upset we don’t match?” I narrowed my eyes.

“No-”

I cut him off. “Nothing is wrong with sweats. It’s not my fault you get off to contorting yourself in ball sweating heat.” My grey sweats felt heavy and my top was soaked down my shoulders. I felt the uncomfortable stickiness of sweat that forced the fabric against my skin. I felt disgustingly dirty and embarrassed surrounded by humans I was unfamiliar with, yet they thought they knew me. I hated when people knew things about me and I knew nothing about them. I would investigate them later.

“Great work today.” An obvious American woman bounced up to us with her curly brown hair, dark tan, and glittering brown eyes. “I’m so happy you guys always join us! You bring so much positive energy to the class.” She touched Shizuo’s sweaty bicep and smiled sweetly at him.

“Yeah, energy.” I muttered under my breath as I watched all the stages of flirting take place right in front of me: touching, smiling too bright, and of course the hair flip. This girl was obviously immature and lusting after Shizuo’s dick, which sadly made two of us, but at least I was above her level desperation.

Shizuo smiled at her and talked for a little bit while I wandered over to the entrance with my phone in hand. I watched my humans workout on treadmills and ellipticals, but my heart wasn’t in it. I wanted to shoot daggers into that American girl. Literally. “What a stupid girl.” I grumbled as I searched through my phone to texted Shinra under the fake contact I made for him, _I might have time to meet up today or tomorrow._

My phone beeped immediately. _Good :) I’ll have Celty pick you up._

 _I will let you know when,_ I texted back. _No apartment visit either. I mean it._ I glanced back up from my phone to see Shizuo approach. His athletic t-shirt clung to his abs, and my jealousy subsided.

“You ready?” He slicks his hair back casually.

“Yes.” I quipped. This Shizuo was far too confident in how he looked. I should take him down a couple notches, I reasoned. I would be doing the other Izaya a favor.  

“So, Kadota invited us on a double date tonight.” Shizuo wrapped his pinky around mine. “Did you want to go?” Shizuo opened the front door with his free hand lead us out of the gym. His black sleeve rolled up as he pushed to reveal firm deltoid muscle and tanned skin.

My thoughts drifted back to my Shizuo. Was he tan under that bartender’s uniform? I couldn’t imagine he was. “Who is his date?” I asked with a clench of my pinky. His casual manner of hand holding intrigued me. So much meaning embedded into this simple wrapping of fingers: trust, security, love, and...friendship.

“Some blonde girl he met at a bar I believe.” Shizuo towered in front of me like some god like figure leading me to the promise land. The sun made his hair painfully gold and I had the strongest urge to make him bleed.

“Sounds promising.” Bleed, I want to see red drip down his back under the sunlight. I want to see his shirtless form under me gasping while I-

“So it’s not the most romantic story. I mean we first met when I tried pounding that four eyed freak with a goal post our first day of high school.”

“Yes. I remember.” My thoughts quieted as I shifted my focus to this new information. “So what did you try killing him for again?”

“He tried to cut me with a scalpel he brought. It was like elementary school all over again with that little freak trying to experiment on me.” Shizuo’s fingers moved along mine to intertwine themselves into a more normal handhold as a large crowd approached.

“Interesting.”

“Not really. He’s just insane.”

A grin stretch across my face as stared at his back. “I just thought it was interesting you switched how we changed hands when we approached a crowd.” I pressed my chest to Shizuo’s back. “Afraid I’ll run off, ne?” I whispered.

Shizuo’s back straightened as people bustled around us. Shizuo turned his head and flashed me a half smile, “We could play that if you wanted. I wouldn’t mind catching you.” His eyes honed in on me. “Or would you rather catch me?”

My cheeks burned as his dancing carmel eyes hypnotized me. “You can catch me.” I threw his hand down and burst through the crowd ashamed, embarrassed at my thoughts of him. “I can’t let him do this to me.” I sprinted down the sidewalk that caused people to stare. It was almost like old times.

“Izaya!” Shizuo shouted behind me in a tone filled with concern. No traces of anger burned in his voice. I hated it.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“What happened?” I sat up.

“You fell asleep in the taxi. We need to get upstairs.”

I felt Izaya dig his shoulder under my armpit. “I can make it.” I grummbled.

“Well you sure didn’t help me when I had to get you out of the taxi.” Izaya grunted as half my weight pressed against him.

“Shizuo, are you feeling alright?” Shingen asked with a raised brow.

“I feel...dizzy.” I slumped forward.

“Well darn. I was kind of hoping you’d carry the luggage upstairs for us.” Shingen scratched the back of his neck. “But, I better get a bellhop to do it.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.” I grunted. My tongue felt heavy.

“Shizuo, are you drunk?” Izaya asked with a laugh.

“No, I haven’t been drinking.” I slurred. My body felt tingly and hot.

“Well, I would be more than happy to take a blood sample and analyze it at Nebula for you!” Shingen grabbed my bicep and whipped a needle out of his lab coat. “Just hold still!”

“No.” I jerked away and Izaya’s right side carried my full weight.

“Shizuo, you’re really heavy for being a bean pole.” Izaya shoved me back onto my feet. “And I definitely think you’re drunk.”

“That’s improsssible.”

Shingen stepped in front of me and intently watched me. “Well you’re showing the symptoms of intoxication.” I saw the needle in his left hand. “Just one blood sample to confirm it. I honestly didn’t think you could become intoxicated. What did you drink on the plane?”

“Juiceee.” My voice sounded different.

“From the second cart that circled around?” Izaya asked as he tried to drag me inside the glass building.

“Yeah.”

“Shizuo, that was the alcohol cart.” Izaya almost tripped. “Come on, one foot in front of the other. It’s like this is your first time being drunk.”

“It is.” I spoke slowly. “I need it to stop.”

“Well you need lots of water, and I need that blood sample. Come on Shizuo, just say yes.” Shingen held my other arm.

“No.” I growled.

“He’s just having too much fun, ignore him. He’s harmless. We have a room reserved under Hei-”

“Kishitani. I reserved it for them.” The front desk clerk gave us a strange look. “We’re on a business trip. Some of us decided to...start celebrating early.” Shingen grabbed my arm and the door keys. “Can you send someone to take the bags up to our room please?”

“Of course.” The weasley man answered.

“You remind me of that flea bag, I fucking-fucking ate that guy.” I hiccupped.

“Ignore him, he’s drunk.” Izaya chattered. “Come on partner.” He tugged me.

“I can do it myself.” I groaned.

“Shut up Shizuo, you are causing a scene.” Izaya elbowed me. “If you don’t stop, I will let Shingen take your blood. So shut it.” He hissed angrily into my left ear.   

“But, why would you do fat?” I groaned again.

Izaya slammed his hand over my mouth and rushed me into the elevator. I think Shingen still had my arm. “I said shut up! You’re embarrassing me.”

I stuck my tongue out and licked his hand in hopes he would remove it. “But, we’re friends.” I slumped against him. “Why won’t you-you let me talk?” I wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“You are not drinking again on this trip.” Izaya huffed and his cheek stuck out like a chipmunk.

“You’re so cute unlike that stupid fleabag.”

“Uh huh.” Izaya tapped his foot.

“Are you-are you mad at me? I hate it when people are mad at me.” I hiccupped again.

“How fascinating.” Shingen pulled out his phone.

“What-what are you doing?”

“Oh nothing, ignore me. So, this Izaya is cute?” Shingen held his phone at a weird angle.

“Yeah, super cute like a puppy or baby squirrel.” My head rested on the top of Izaya’s. “Maybe a panda. A red panda.”

“A red panda?” Shingen had his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Yeah, cause his eyes are red.”

“So this Izaya has red eyes?”

“Yeah, just like the fleabag. But, they’re pretty. Like girl eyes.” I yawned.

“Mmm, so do you mean our Izaya is pretty like a girl?” Shingen asked as the elevator jerked to a stop.

My brain became confused. “Yeah, I guess so.” I frowned.

“But, I thought you hated him.”

I shook my head, “No. He’s just an asshole, and-and I just can’t ever catch him.”

“Interesting. So, what would you do if you caught him.”

“I would beat the shit out of him.” I hiccuped and leaned even more on Izaya, who wasn’t the one I wanted. “With my mouth.”

Shingen almost dropped his phone. “So you would kiss him?”

“After I punched him a couple times.” My eyelids felt heavy.

“So you love him?”

“Fu-fuck no. I mean-” I looked down at this Izaya. “I don’t know. I”m confused.”

“You’re not confused Shizuo. You’re drunk.” Izaya sighed and kept tugging me down a green hallway.

“Why is-is it green?”

Shingen started to laugh, “Why do you think it’s green?”

“Because of America?”

“Sure, let’s just go with that.” Izaya stopped in front of a door. “Well Shingen, it was lovely speaking with you but Shizuo needs to sleep.” Izaya tugged me inside and shut the door. “You need to lay down now.” His voice was harsh like a parent scolding a child.

“M’kay.” I stumbled towards the first bed I saw. “Go night ‘Zaya.” I whispered as I felt someone rub my back.

 

**Izaya**

My feet pounded the sidewalk when I felt hands tug me into an alley. I let out a yelp at the sharp pain, and then I was pressed against a stone wall before I could even blink. “Shinra, what are you doing here?”

“Well I was in the neighborhood-”

“You were stalking me!” I yanked my arm from his grasp, but Shinra just pressed closer.

“Protecting is what I like to call it.” Shinra pressed his chest to mine.

“That’s what most stalkers think they’re doing.” I glared. I was immensely uncomfortable by this arrangement. “Get off.”

“No.” Shinra whispered against my cheek. “Not yet anyway.”

My body went ridged as I felt Shinra’s tongue lick my cheek. I turned towards him horrified only to have Shinra cup my face and his lips brush mine.

His pupils were dilated, and his dark eyes made it difficult to break his gaze. “You think you know me, and I think I know you.” His fingers traced along the bottom of my lip. “But, I do know you.” Shinra’s face was centimeters from mine. “And you probably figured out that I’m waiting for you to speak so I can-” Shinra smirked and continued to trace my lip with the top of his finger nail. “Do this.” Shinra tilted my face upwards.

So, I kneed him in the stomach. “I said get off Shinra.”

Shinra wobbled backwards and clutched his gut. “Ow, that hurt.” He wheezed. “I don’t see why you and Celty feel the need to beat me whenever I try to be romantic.” Shinra threw his arms around me. “I’m simply trying to show my love for you.”

I glared and placed my palm on the front of his face, “You know Shinra, this is really getting old.” Just then something whizzed in the air, and I stepped back with a smile. I watched a trash can smack Shinra off of me. “I would run Shinra, I guess you didn’t factor in my calculations.”

Shinra took off his glasses and folded them into his lab coat. “I suppose I didn’t. Well done Izaya.” Shinra said with a cruel grin on his face, “And I would say it’s nice to see you again Shizuo, but I detest you.”

A very angry Shizuo stalked closer with a street sign in hand that reminded me so much of my Shizuo. His normal friendly demeanor was eclipsed by an animalistic snarl, “Didn’t your monster tell you what I said last time.” The sign screeched as he bent it in his right fist. “That if I saw you go near Izaya again, I would kill you!” Shizuo screamed as he chucked the sign at Shinra who dodged it with ease.

“I didn’t appreciate that treatment of Celty.” Shinra whipped something with the snap of his wrist. I watched it land with a thud in the middle of Shizuo’s chest.

Shizuo grunted and pulled the silver knife-no scalpel out with a hiss. Ruby red blood coated the light blue of his shirt. Shizuo glared and charged at Shinra.

“And now I’ve made my feelings clear. I hope you both have a nice day.” Shinra’s smile faded into the shadows as he sank into a far wall. “I’ll be back though.” Shinra’s cold laugh taunted.

Stupid Shizuo charged at the wall and raised his fist, “I’m gonna kill you!”

“Shizu-Chan, stop. I’m not paying to replace an entire building.”Shizuo’s shoulders shook with every heavy breath, and I felt intensely aroused. “Let’s just go home.” I walked towards him down the dark alley. He didn’t turn around when I reached him. “You never did catch me you know.” My voice fell flat as I couldn’t muster the proper feeling that coursed through my veins.

Shizuo finally turned to gaze at me. “Your lip is bleeding.” He said flatly. Shizuo’s expression fell neutral and I felt the slightest sense of Deja Vu like so many car rides I had with Shikki. I could never get a rise out of that man.

I absently brushed my bottom lip and felt the small cut in the center. I pulled my fingers away to gaze upon the tiniest drop of blood I had ever seen. “So I am.”

“Did he hurt you?” Shizuo asked neutrally, “Or were you actually meeting up with him for a bloody makeout session in some dank alley?”

There it was. I forced my smile into a thin line, “Maybe I was.” I stepped closer and let my smile free. “What are you going to do about it?”

Shizuo’s neutral expression broke. His eyes danced once more and he leaned down to me, “What did you want me to do about it?”

“I…” My confidence waned as his grew. “I want you to…”

“Come on Izaya.” Shizuo lowered himself over me.

Part of me screamed for him to die or kiss me. “I’ll tell you when we get back to the apartment. For now, I have a lead I need to examine.” I picked the bloodied scalpel off the ground. “This is just the thing I was looking for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3


	8. The New Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Doing that? You’re acting like a virgin.” Izaya snorted.  
> I stayed silent as my face burned in embarrassment. I stared at my black shoes.  
> “No.”  
> I continued to look down.  
> “No! You cannot be- what have you been doing?”  
> “Well not having sex obviously.” I muttered

**Izaya**

 

“It was really foolish of him to leave this.” I watched the silver scalpel glint under the dimming office light from the small window to my left. A browning fern sat near the window, and I cast light beams on its leaves while I clutched my phone to my ear. “Shinra already knows I will try to find his supplier and trace his address back from there. Maybe I’ll find someone who wants to divulge more details about his previous activities as well. Who knows how many leads we can achieve through this single clue?” I grinned as I imagined Shinra’s face as I listed all the people who betrayed him. The glorious feeling of winning filled my chest because now I had the upper hand for the first time since arriving in this dimension. “I wonder how many murders he’s been involved in? I’m curious to know.” It was too easy, but I was smug nevertheless.

“You sound way too happy about this.” Kadota groaned from the other end of the phone.

“Well it is exciting to know that our previous associate could in fact be a serial killer.” I chuckled. “I just wanted to share my thoughts with you ,Dotachin, about the case. After all, I am your partner.”

“Don’t call me Dotachin. I don’t even know where you got that from, but I gotta go get ready. Bye ‘Zaya.” Kadota hung up.   

“Babe, are you done? You know, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind for our Saturday together.” Shizuo complained once again from the living room that sat adjacent to the small side office.

“Just one more call.” I connected to the station. “Detective Heiwajima, yes I need some files on Kishitani Shinra and I need this product code traced back to its producer. Are you ready? UPC 760190009312. Call when you find out where it’s produced and distributed. That’s all.” I should have done this footwork myself, but it was so much easier when you had a team of underlings to do it for you. I unfortunately realized that now I had nothing to do. I spun around in the navy office chair while my stomach sank as I mentally concluded I had nothing to do besides spending time with Shizuo unless I came up with an excuse. “So, what time is the double date?” I bit my lower lip. I needed to keep Shizuo distant, but off my case by trying to act like his Izaya as well as I possibly could.

Shizuo didn’t answer, but I heard the subtle taps from his phone. “You won’t have an attitude the whole night, babe?”

“I don’t have an attitude.” I snapped.

“You’ve been acting like a brat all day. You need to meditate or go eat something.”

I stood up from the desk, “You’re the one being insufferable.” I controlled my anger as I exited the office. I couldn’t keep acting more out of character than I have been. Shizuo was already suspicious since I kept alternating colored contacts. Right now, my eyes were a dark blue that reminded me of Mikado’s. I stopped long enough to spy Shizuo on the black leather couch with a tv remote in one hand and his phone in the other.

“Because I enjoyed our morning until you ran into some alley with your insane ex and saw him all over you?” Shizuo snorted.

“I could handle it! He’s just…”

“A lunatic? A stalker? A possible serial killer?” Shizuo stood up in a fluid motion to point at me. “And you-you talked to him like he’s a normal person! Well guess what babe, he’s not! He’s insane!” Shizuo’s voice pitched higher. “Do you remember why I fucking hate that asshole?”

I stayed silent as I walked over to sink and filled an empty glass with water. Great, now we were going to fill our free time with an argument that I could actually lose since I didn’t know a whole lot about our history together. I sipped from the glass as I readied myself for Shizuo’s possible wrath.

“I befriended him in elementary school until he tried to dissect me!”

Interesting. “I doubt he would have gotten away with it.” I grumbled.

“He had me alone in a lab and tried to tie me to a table so he could cut me open! He’s sick! That was when we were seven, so what do you think he has the power to do now?” Shizuo’s tone implied he thought I was acting like an idiot. How insulting.

“I can handle myself since I am the detective after all.” A low blow, but it caused Shizuo’s lips purse into a displeased pout.

“Did you ever think that maybe I actually like being a teacher?”

I shrugged and lifted the glass to my lips. Shizuo’s shoulders drooped, and I could tell he was running out of steam already. Good, I thought. I hated being yelled at anyway.

“Well I actually do. It was my favorite teacher and you that saved me from becoming some thug.” Shizuo walked into the kitchen to sit at the counter to stare at me.

The water in my glass swished as I placed it by the sink behind me. “Honorable.” I said neutrally. A question that burned in the back of my mind and continued to haunt me through the years bubbled inside me once more. I opened my mouth then closed it. I knew I could converse with this Shizuo about it since he was unlikely to crush me to a vending machine or smack me into the stratosphere with a street sign. “Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we could all just get along?” My fingers tapped the counter. The frustrated atmosphere of our argument seemed to dissipate for now.  

Shizuo pursed his lips again as he observed me. “What is that question about?”

“Just answer.”

Shizuo was silent for a moment before he stood and walked around the counter and leaned himself against it across from me. “I guess things would have been easier.” His light brown eyes held mine. “But, I doubt it would have worked out in the long run unless we all fell in love with different people, and if Shinra wasn’t obsessed with human experimentation. I heard a rumor once in high school that Shinra’s foreign ex-girlfriend was actually a corpse his father’s company revived. I also heard he experimented on dead bodies, which he probably still does.”

“So, Shinra mentioned something to me.” I squared my shoulders ready for another argument. “He mentioned that he never wanted to break up with me and was upset-”

“Well yeah, you broke up with him.” Shizuo squinted his eyes and moved closer. “You have been very uncharacteristically forgetful this week.”

I needed more information on this without drawing more concern. The last thing I wanted was a therapist or worse...couple’s counseling. “I’ve just been stressed. But, I recall that Shinra was the one that ended things first.”

“I don’t want you talking to him. Ever. He’s fucking with your head.” Shizuo grabbed my shoulders and pressed his face on the top of my head. He pulled me into a warm embrace. “You ended things first, but it was Shinra that made a big deal out of it. He pretended to break up with you in the school yard after you didn’t agree with his future career choices. He was also upset that we were hanging out so much. He’s a dick.” Shizuo pressed his lips to my forehead. “You know we can skip the date tonight and catch up on sleep. I think you need some rest.”

Shizuo’s gentle heartbeat thudded in my ear. His musky smell filled my nostrils and promise of sleep was very enticing. “No, let’s go out.” I couldn’t stay alone with Shizuo anymore than I already have. I don’t know how much longer I’d be able to fight the urge to have sex with him, especially with his experienced seduction techniques. I really hated him for that.

Would it even be considered adultery if I slept with him? I was technically Izaya. It’s not like this Shizuo would ever find out I wasn’t his husband. Plus, there was that bothersome fantasy of the beast and I together that has been clamped onto my heart since our Raijin days. The fantasy that cursed my turbulent nights consistently demanded to be fulfilled no matter what happened between us. In my dreams, I fully embraced being with Shizuo. But, that fantasy was just that- a fantasy. My Shizuo would never lust after me, he’d never...he’d never love me. Fear built in the recesses of my mind came forward with the horrifying thought: no one would ever love me. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts right now, I nuzzled my head against this Shizuo's chest.

But, I couldn’t deny the delicious feel of his muscles around me or his hot lips against my skin that redirected me from my angst. I shivered and pulled closer to him. Shizuo squeezed me in his strong arms as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him. My arms wrapped themselves around his narrow waist and I closed my eyes against his chest. Maybe I could just pretend for a little longer that this Shizuo was the one I really wanted. But, under that fantasy I held of him was the bitter resentment that possessed my entire being. I couldn’t love something that wasn’t human. That went against the pure love I held for humanity. How could I love a monster? I wanted to laugh at my own ridiculous thoughts. This Shizuo was not mine, this life was not mine, and Shizuo would always be an angry beast in the body of a man. There would never be any form of love in the monster's arms.  

“I’m not going to let him hurt you.” Shizuo whispered in my hair.

I wish I could say the same.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo!”

I felt hands shake my shoulders. “What!” I swatted hands away. “Five more minutes.”

“Shizuo, we have to go to the lab today.” Hands wrapped around my wrist.

“Stop.” I rolled onto my side and pulled the assailant into a death cuddle. “Just five more minutes.”

“Shizuo, come on.” The assailant wriggled against my chest. “Don’t you want breakfast?”

I opened my eyes to see raven hair. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.” I blushed.

“Who?” Izaya narrowed his eyes. “Who did you think I was?”

I blinked. “I don’t know.” Who would ever dare to wake me up in the first place, well besides Kasuka. My sleepy actions didn’t make any sense.

Izaya shook his head and crawled out of my bed. “Come on. We have to leave in an hour and I need breakfast before being experimented on.” Izaya disappeared behind the white wall and I heard the sound of a door open and close.

My head spun as I sat up in the white queen-sized bed. “Fuck.” I felt sick and laid back down. “Fuck today.” I groaned and rolled back on my side.

“Shizuo.” Shingen’s voice sounded from the hallway.

“What do you want?” I yelled.

“No need to shout. I’m right here.” Shingen stood at the end of my bed.

“Uh, what the fuck?” I sat up and immediately collapsed. “I feel-I feel like shit.” The room began to spin.

“You're probably dehydrated. I can set you up with an IV drip.”

“Please.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Wow, you’re kind of a whimp when it comes to hangovers. Don’t you ever get sick?” Shingen moved his hand over back. “Does anything hurt?”

“No, I haven’t been sick since elementary school.” I gripped my stomach. “My head hurts. Everything is too bright.”

Shingen observed me in my pain, “Just hang on. I’ll grab an IV from my equipment. But, I do want that blood sample. I hope you’ll reconsider after your treatment.”

Today was gonna suck.

 

**Izaya**

 

An attractive blonde Russian woman sat in front of me completely uninterested in the conversation that swirled around us. “So, what brings you to Japan?” Vorona, I had heard that name before.

“I live here with my family. We escape civil war in home country.”

Great, now I have differences in history to catch up on too, I mentally groaned. What a pain with everything else going on. “Ah.” Was my only reply as I raised my green glass to my lips. I needed to figure this world out instead of wasting so much time on Shizu-chan and Shinra. Who knows how much longer I would have to stay here, I pondered with a bitter smile. Maybe I would never get home. My hands shook fiercely whenever I entertained this idea, but I clenched my right hand around the glass to stop the water from spilling.

Vorona leaned over to whisper something in Kadota’s ear and he turned a bright red. Kadota cleared his throat, “So, we’re going to get going. I’ll talk to you guys later.” Kadota blushed and grabbed Vorona’s feminine hand. They hurried out of the establishment in a flurry of whispers.

“This wasn’t even worth coming out for.” I grumbled. “This otoro wasn’t even good.” I shoved my plate away with a pout.

Shizuo chuckled and leaned into me, “Well we can have a nicer dinner tomorrow, but how about we get back to the apartment for dessert?” Shizuo’s hot breath tickled my ear.

My skin tingled and I already felt myself grow half hard at the thought of Shizuo inside of me. “And what would dessert be, Shizu-Chan?” I teased and moved my face closer to his. Just one kiss, I swore to myself. Just one.

“Oh, I was thinking we could get some whipped cream and strawberries.” His low voice sent a wave of pleasure through me.

“That sounds like it could be messy.” I fluttered my lashes suggestively.

“I’d make sure to lick up every up every drop especially-” Shizuo’s hand trailed to my right thigh. “Here.” His fingers trailed upwards to my crotch. “Here.”

A small gasp escaped my lips as his warm fingers slid under my shirt. I can do this, I chanted desperately.

“All along here, and particularly here.” Shizuo’s thumb circled my left nipple as his lips met mine. He lightly sucked my lower lip. His long lashes brushed against the apple of my left cheek as he shifted his head to deepen the kiss. Shizuo’s long arms wrapped around my waist and shoulders as he gathered me into his lap.

More, I want more. I ignored the public setting and wrap my fingers through his hair. Screw public decency.

“Detective Heiwajima, we need you!” I turned my head to see a brown, messy haired officer sprinting towards our booth.

With a remorseful sigh, I detached myself from Shizuo and glowered at the man in front of me. “It’s my day off.” All I wanted was just one night with him.

“There’s been another...incident.” The officer said in a hushed tone.

“Related to my case?” I reached over Shizuo for my black coat that laid beside him. My stomach clenched because I already knew the answer.

“Yes...same circumstances.”

“Give us a moment.” I turned from the officer to Shizuo and no matter how redundant it was, I felt the need to say it. “I have to go.” My voice betrayed me. I found myself struggling to tear myself away from Shizuo’s side; I wanted the passionate night together that Shizuo’s husky voice promised moments earlier. I wanted dessert.

Shizuo’s expression and voice was neutral, “I understand.”

There were two meanings in that simple admission: it’s fine or I resent you for leaving me. I couldn’t tell which one Shizu-Chan was feeling. I stood up from the booth and turned on my heels to follow the younger officer out the front door of the restaurant.

“The victim was a 21 year old female named….” The officer’s voice blurred into the background as we approached the scene that was only three blocks away. The body had already been removed, but the blood that stained the alley and walls remained. I saw grey matter splattered across graffiti. What was the purpose of killing this poor human? I ducked under the police tape and stalked towards the scene. My stomach churned when the pungent smell of death hit my nostrils. I despised the smell. I hated that someone killed this poor human for seemingly no reason, but I knew there was a reason. I wonder if she simply was in the wrong place or if she saw something she shouldn’t have. I kneeled closer to observe the evidence in front of me.  

“Miss, you can’t be back here. This crime scene is closed.”

Blood was splattered in a single direction which made me assume that whatever killed her was a bullet. The girl probably saw something she shouldn’t have, or maybe she had a jealous lover. My poor little human.

“But, I was the one that found the body. I’m sure the detective would like to question me.” A flat female voice echoed through the night air.  

“Let her through.” I called over my shoulder. I hadn’t bothered to look at her yet as I was still trying to see if I could find a stray bullet or bullet hole. Perhaps I should try experimenting with angles to recreate the shot to gain insight, I pondered. I could narrow down a list of guns depending on the angle and start my investigation from there, which seemed like the most logical path to take.   

“Detective, I was the one that found the body.” A young woman’s legs appeared out of the corner of my eye. Her skin was pale and she wore a pair of pink Converse shoes.

“You really shouldn’t be back here.” I turned my gaze upwards from my crouched position. When my eyes landed on her face, my whole body froze. All those times I played with Celty’s head flooded back to me. Her unmoving closed grey eyes, her tawny colored hair that floated around her in peaceful slumber, and of course making her head sit on my shoulder like a parrot while I discussed my plans with her. Now she stood before me. She was painfully real unlike the Mika Harima look alike.  My pulse raced as experienced the overwhelming urge to run from this...doll. She was a beautiful woman with an inhuman glow about her. Her pale skin flawless, her foreign beauty exotic, but something about her gaze was unnerving. Something about those grey eyes surrounded by long, thick lashes made my legs quiver as I stood.

“Do you recognize me detective?” She whispered in a high pitched feminine voice. She moved closer to me with an impish grin. “It was so terrifying!” She cried loudly followed by her shoulders wracking with a fake sob as she pressed herself against my chest.  

I looked around to see the officer who escorted me here watching me expectantly. I wrapped my arm around Certy and led her deeper into the alley away from the others. “What’s so important that you have to tell me now?” I removed my arm from her shoulder and narrowed my eyes.

A cold smile spread across her face to reveal a row of perfect white teeth that sent wave of chills down my spine. She looked like a doll from a horror movie ready to kill me. “You see, I want you to stop trying to track down Shinra-san.” The killer doll moved closer till her chest met mine again. “I also want you to stay away from him, or I’ll kill you. He’s mine. He’s always been mine, and he’ll always be mine. You were always just an inconvenience- a pitiful experiment. I do have to say though, I like the other you better. He has better taste in clothes.”

A hysterical bubble of laughter burst through my lips, “But, you share him with your body. Doesn’t that mean he’s not really yours.” I giggled. “That seems like a contradiction, ne? Certy-chan, you aren’t very intelligent and your taste in fashion is deplorable. Pink is such a disgusting color. If we are going to have a problem with one another, I want to ensure I have the right name. Your name is Certy Kishitani, correct?”

Her bone chilling smile never left her face as she reached for me, “Yes.” She stood on her tiptoes and her breasts uncomfortably pressed against my shoulder and collarbone as she leaned closer to my ear. “You want to know who killed that girl?” Her fingernails pressed into my shoulders as her lips brushed my right ear. “I did.” Her warm breath hit my cheek. “And you’ll suffer the same fate if you don’t listen.” Her hands trailed over my chest suggestively. “It would be both a pleasure and a shame to have to kill you Orihara. But, I’d enjoy every-” Her fingers trailed down my torso until they found two belt loops on my black jeans, “Bloody moment of it.” Her fingers gave a swift tug before she flounced away with her soft coral skirt revealing too much slim, pale thigh. Her white top was oddly conservative compared to her skirt.

“I have a warning for you as well Certy.” I called after her. She stopped in her tracks as her skirt swished before it clung to her thighs. “Touch me like that again, and I’ll make you suffer in ways you’d never thought possible.”

Certy kept her back to me as she continued her walk out of the alley.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Shizuo, you fell asleep again.” Izaya whined and stomped his foot. “If I must suffer, you should too.”

I rolled my eyes, “I’m here. I’m being supportive.” I leaned my right arm against the armrest of the chair I had been in for the past two hours. “I can’t help that I have jet lag.”

“Well I can help it if I have dimension lag.” He snapped and plopped down next to me. “I'm sorry. It's just that I’ve never been this long without sex before.” He bemoaned and placed his hands over his eyes. “I miss him.”

Ah, that Shizuo. I was never good at comforting people, “I’m sure he feels the same.”

“Probably not. You said your Izaya was sneaky. He’s probably pretending to be me as we speak.” Izaya leaned his head into his hands. “He’s probably-probably sleeping with him too.” Izaya’s voice quivered.

Oh fuck no. Not this shit again, I internally groaned. “Izaya is not sleeping with your husband. He fucking hates me! He’s tried to kill me since we met. Trust me, he’s the last person Izaya would want to sleep with besides me. So please don’t cry over it.”

This Izaya gazed at me with wide brown eyes. “Really?”

“Trust me on this one. Izaya hates my guts.”

Izaya let out a small sigh, “But, my Shizuo has a sexy set of abs and he works out a lot.” His gaze looked distant. “And we do yoga together so he can do a bunch of different sex-”

“Enough!” I raised my hand, “Please. I don’t need to know that.”

Izaya crossed his arms, “Oh? Because, it’s not straight sex gossip?”

I gripped the bridge of my nose, “I don’t like to picture other people...doing that.”

“Doing that? You’re acting like a virgin.” Izaya snorted.

I stayed silent as my face burned in embarrassment. I stared at my black shoes.

“No.”

I continued to look down.

“No! You cannot be- what have you been doing?”

“Well not having sex obviously.” I muttered and stood from the chair. “I’m having a smoke.”

Izaya followed me, “But, you’re so handsome! Someone must have offered?”

“Nobody I wanted.” I answered sadly. Scuzzy females who wanted to pay off their debts with their bodies were such a turnoff for me, no matter how hot they were.

“But, your ass!”

“Stop mentioning my ass!” I snapped as I pushed the Nebula doors open. Chicago traffic bustled in the street in front of the building as I positioned myself near the closest ashtray.

“Well, I mean a workout plan wouldn’t kill you-” Izaya rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “You could be a little bigger, but you have a nice body, your personality is sweet once you get past all the grumpiness, you’re strong, have a job, and believe in doing the right thing. Something isn’t adding up.” Izaya placed a hand on his hip and posed like an inquisitive girlfriend from one of those bad girly sitcoms that Kasuka would watch on occasion when we were kids.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” My eyes focus on the lit cigarette in front of my lips. Inhale, exhale, I remind myself. Focus on your breathing, and stay calm.

“Is it because...you like guys?” Izaya asked cautiously.

“I DO NOT LIKE GUYS.” I growled and snapped my cigarette. “Just fucking great.” I pulled another stick from my carton. I raised my lighter again and took a deep inhale.

Izaya said nothing for awhile, but watched the busy Americans pass us. Finally, he interrupted our silence by clearing his throat.  “When I first realized I was gay, I was in elementary school. There was this boy, I don’t remember his name, but he had soft brown hair and big brown eyes. He was my best friend and we played together every day until I tried to kiss him. The boy turned to me and said ‘that’s something you do to girls’ before he stopped playing with me. I couldn’t help but feel upset by him saying that. I went under the playground stairs and cried until the boy came back. Somehow the kiss was forgotten, but it was never really the same. I had these feelings for him that I didn’t understand.” Izaya scuffed his shoe along the sidewalk. “I felt weird about it until I entered middle school. Shinra convinced me to join his stupid club and I ended up getting stabbed by some crazy kid named Nakura. It was so idiotic. I mean it was Shinra’s fault for doing social experiments on other people without their consent, yet I still jumped in front of the knife. After that, Shinra claimed he loved me.” Izaya chuckled. “He asked me why I did that for a straight month, and each time I answered because you’re my friend. It was oddly romantic to me at the time. But, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t dated Shinra even though he ended up turning into a crazed douchebag.”

“So you got stabbed because of Shinra, and you just started dating him?” I growled. “That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.”  

“Well, I mean it took a couple of months, but essentially yes. After that he became obsessed with me. He never could figure out my actions towards him. I almost felt I was an experiment or puzzle to him, but I guess in his own way he did love me. It just wasn’t the love I wanted for myself.”

I shoved my cigarette butt into the tray, “So is this supposed to convince me I’m gay? I appreciate the story, but I’m not gay.” I answered defensively.

“Then why did you admit to wanting to kiss Izaya?”

The question hit me like a slap in the face. “I was drunk.” I huffed. “People say stupid shit when they’re drunk.”  

“Why did you say I was like a red panda? I don’t even have red eyes, Shizuo. I don’t know anyone that does.”

I froze, but said nothing. I watched foreign and familiar cars whiz by in fake interest. Silence carved a wedge between us.  “I was drunk.” My body began to ache with the need to get away, “I’m going for a walk.” I said before I turned away from him. I secretly wished it was the usual burning anger that flooded my body instead of this unfamiliar feeling that urged me forward because for the first time in my life, I found myself retreating from something instead of fighting.

“Shizuo.” Izaya called in a pleading voice. 

“I’ll be back in a half hour.” I shook my head. I wasn’t gay. I especially wasn’t gay for that fucking fleabag. “I’m not gay.” The words tasted like shit in my mouth. I closed my eyes against the Chicago sun and listened to the busy traffic and American accents float around me. “I’m not attracted to him.” That flea was a smoldering pile of shit, I mentally cursed any doubts I had. He ruined my life, cost me my job, and tried to frame me for a crime I didn’t commit. “I don’t miss him.” I don’t, I don’t, and I never will.     

  

**Izaya**

 

I called Shinra immediately after I commandeered a police vehicle. “Shinra!” I yelled as soon as I heard the phone connect.

“Izaya, what an unexpected surprise.” Shinra’s sing song voice sounded far too happy. “What do I owe the pleasure of hearing your lovely voice this evening?”

“Did you see the news?”

Shinra hummed, “Not really. I’ve been busy with a client.” I heard metal clang in the background and could only assume he was still working.

“Are you working right now?”

“Possibly.”

“I doubt you have enough skill to focus on a conversation and carve up someone’s face. Aren’t you worried about your client’s safety?”

“Eh, this guy is under. He’ll be fine. I’m almost done anyway.”

“Remind me to never let you work on me. Ever. Also, did you know I ran into one of your monstrous girlfriends this evening? I was concerned you sent one of them to stalk me like you did earlier today.”

“Oh? That’s a surprise to me. I thought they both were catching up on their favorite shows tonight.” Shinra sounded mildly surprised. “But, that’s rich coming from you since you’re the only one bedding a real monster.”

“Did you know Certy killed someone? She admitted it to me a few minutes ago.” I pulled away from the curb and merged into traffic.

“Well, sometimes things like that happen.” Shinra’s voice kept its jubilant tone.

I furrowed my brow, “Did you not hear what I said?”

“Oh, I did. It’s not like you’re going to arrest her or anything.” More clangs. “Are you?”

I remained silent as I contemplated my next move. “It was remarkably similar to the murder of the diplomat’s son. The one that landed your Izaya with the career advancing case.”

“Oh?” Shinra sounded bemused.

“Yes. Bullet wound to the head, but no bullet.”

“So?”

“No evidence of retrieval or an exit wound.” I gritted my teeth annoyed as I shouldered the phone and drove to the station. I sucked at driving, so I put Shinra on speaker. “This is why I never drive. I hate traffic. It annoys me.”

“You know, you really shouldn’t be on the phone and driving.” Shinra’s voice sounded reprimanding like a parent.

“Hence why you are on speaker.”

“I guess that’s okay. You could have just asked and I would have had Celty give you a ride.”

“I can’t do that.” I sighed. “I’m needed back at the station for this case.”

“I would say that’s too bad, but you know how I feel about you being in the monster’s bed.” Shinra’s displeasure was evident in his tone as he spoke.

No sex for me...again. “You’ve made that perfectly clear on numerous occasions since we first met, Shinra.”

“If you’d just stay with me, I would be saving you from breaking one of the ten commandments.” Shinra clucked like an angry hen. “Besides, you’d be much safer with me and I could work on figuring out a way to get you back home. Don’t you want that?”  

My frowned deepened. “I couldn’t quite figure out if sleeping with another self’s husband would be adultery.” I mused. “I mean I didn’t marry him directly, but I’m still a version of him. For all intents and purposes I am this Izaya while being another Izaya completely. Isn’t it just thrilling to think about all the implications and physical laws of the universe? I would love to find a physicist and discuss everything with them. I never was a big fan of multiverse theories until this little adventure happened to me.” Laughter burst through me and made it difficult for me to focus. “Back home I found a fallen angel and I don’t even believe in God. I’ve never lived my life according to the words of some ‘God’ that probably doesn’t even exist!” I laughed harder. “And I wasn’t even sure other dimensions existed, yet I’ve fallen into one! The irony of both situations is hilarious!” I clenched my fists around the steering wheel to keep the car steady. “Oh Shinra, thank you for bringing on this great epiphany because now I realize I really don’t care if it’s adultery.” Gut splitting laughter filled the car. “Could you imagine his face if he found out I wasn’t even his? That delicious look of betrayal.” I licked my lips.   

“All I’m saying is, could you really forgive yourself if you ruined a marriage? I mean I would appreciate it, but I doubt you have the stomach for that sort of thing no matter how unbalanced you sound right now.”

“I’ve ruined plenty of marriages.” I thought back to all those cheating spouse jobs I worked. I relished the faces of betrayal and anger that my play things displayed when I handed them physical proof of their partner’s disloyalty. “Surprisingly I only abetted two murders. You know what’s truly funny Shinra? Now I understand how those mistresses and side pieces feel first hand! It’s so hard to say no, especially when Shizu-Chan is in those boxers-”  

“Not like this. You’d be ruining your idea of a fantasy marriage for another version of you that actually exists.” Shinra’s voice was calm once more, but had lost its joyous tone. “It’s a misguided fantasy; one that you’d crush between your hands and let my Izaya pick up the pieces when he returned. Are you really so cruel to inflict that kind of pain?”  

I ignored his question, “So you’ve decided that if I slept with this Shizu-Chan, it would be adultery?”

“On the grounds you did not marry him directly, yes. But, you could always admit the truth to him and let him make the decision.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Oh?”

“Yeah, and when he kicks you out or tries to kill you, I’ll come to your rescue. I’ll sweep you in my arms and-”

I pressed the end call button at the bottom of my cell. “How annoying. But, that doesn’t even matter now! I know now. I know that my worrying never mattered because I don’t believe in God. I have nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not like I care if I hurt the stupid beast or not, and I don’t care if I ruin their marriage.” I was still laughing as I pulled up to the station. As I exited the vehicle with renewed vigor and a grin, I swore I saw a woman in pink out of the corner of my eye. “Violent delights have violent ends, Certy-Chan.” I sang as I skipped into the nearly empty building. “And you’ll get yours.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this took forever for me to finish. But, I'm happy I could update it for you guys :D 
> 
> I hope it's been pretty obvious that my writing style changes between Shizuo's and Izaya's point of view, which is why Izaya's always seems to be way longer than Shizuo's since Izaya tends to be much more descriptive and intellectual character. I'll try to work on evening the length out more, but Izaya just has way more going on at this point of the story. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading, and I'll update again in a week or so! The rating for this will change after this chapter since things are going to get more intense. 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated,
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. The Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinra lifted my chin up with his thumb, “But, I’d never run away from you. I understand you Izaya. I understand all of you.” Shinra’s glasses reflected the overhead light and his grin really did make him look like a serial killer. “Nighty night ‘Zaya. I’ll be by your side when you wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention Readers! (Insert Airline Stewardess voice)
> 
> If you have already read my story, you'll see that the rating has changed due to the nature of this chapter. If you continue to look above, you'll also notice tags have been added to reflect this change. Please keep in mind that the Shizaya fluff WILL happen just not for the next couple of chapters. 
> 
> Now let's turn our attention to the actual story my dear reader. You may want to skip Izaya's second portion if you are NOT comfortable with graphic descriptions of violence. Once you see the bolded word blood, you can skip to everyone's favorite man child. The rest of the story is clear, and I ended on Shizuo's point of view to keep things light. 
> 
> Now that I've said my piece, please proceed. Thank you and have a safe read!

****

 

******Izaya**

I opened the apartment door with a yawn and scanned for Shizuo. “Shizu-Chan, I’m home.” I stumbled forward. My clothes felt cumbersome against my tired limbs. I spent ten hours working on the second murder and how it might possibly tie in with the first considering the similarities of both cases. Then after I left, I finally received a call relating to the information on the scalpel that I would just have to look into later because I desperately needed to sleep. I needed to be in bed with Shizuo’s arms around me for the next six hours.

“Babe, I’m so glad you’re home! Have you seen that toiletry bag? The blue one or I’d even take the pink one.” Shizuo sped into the kitchen with a toothbrush awkwardly protruding from his mouth.

I shook my head, “What are you doing?” I stumbled into the kitchen unable to make my legs move any further and leaned against the counter. I slumped off  my black fur trimmed coat and threw it on the nearest chair. The cool counter top felt nice against my skin.    

Shizuo moved the brush in and out and rushed back down the hall. I heard water run and quickly shut off. “Didn’t you get my texts?” Shizuo ran back into the kitchen with a suitcase in hand.

“You’re leaving?”

“I was asked last minute to fill in as a chaperone for the class trip. I texted you that like seven hours ago when I found out.” Shizuo ran back out of the room. “Babe, I really need that toiletry bag! I have to leave in ten minutes.” He shouted from somewhere in the hallway. 

For some reason, I collapsed on the ground with a small sob. A single tear leaked free that I wiped away with the back of my hand. “Stupid.” I muttered. I needed to pull myself together. “I’m Izaya Orihara, I don’t cry.” Another tear slipped.

“Aww don’t be upset.” Shizuo reentered the room and dropped a blue duffle bag next to his matching blue suitcase. He hurried over and knelt in front of me. His thumb traced over my cheek, “It’s just for a week. Plus you’re so busy with your case, you’ll hardly notice I’m gone.” Shizuo kissed my forehead.

“It’s not-not that.” I choked.

“What is it?” Shizuo’s caramel eyes warmed with concern.

“I wanted-I wanted to have sex.” I whimpered embarrassed. I felt ashamed to admit it out loud.  

Shizuo cupped my face between his strong hands, “I promise that I will do you in every room on every piece of furniture we own when I get back.” He pressed his lips to mine for a quick kiss, “But, the school really needs my help.” Shizuo’s arms wrapped around me and he lifted me with ease. He quickly shuffled me into the bedroom then laid me down on the black bedsheets. “I’ll text you everything when you wake up from your nap. Myabe we can have phone sex tonight if you’re free.” Shizuo gave me three quick kisses. “I love you.” With that, Shizuo walked out of the bedroom to gather his things and leave me.  

“Fuck you Shizuo. I hate you. I hate you so much with your stupid monster strength!” I blinked back tears. I forced my hand into a weakly held fist and punched Shizuo’s pillow. “Fuck you and your stupid counterarguments Shinra.” It seemed like fate was in his favor for now. I hadn’t come any closer to stopping him or even figuring out what he truly wanted, but I couldn’t worry about that now. I needed to sleep.

“Yes please.” Shinra’s voice sounded from outside the bedroom almost immediately after I finished cursing. I heard gentle footsteps patter against the wooden floor and Shinra appeared a few centimeters away a moment later. His white lab coat stuck out first in the dimly lit bedroom.

Terrified, I rolled over and fell to the floor with a thud. “What the hell Shinra! I told you never sneak in here again. I barely heard you!” I propped myself up on my left elbow with greater effort than it should have taken.

“Hey, down there.” Shinra chuckled while he squatted down closer to me. “How are you feeling?”

“Why are you asking me that?” My words came out slow. “And what are you doing here?”

“You really can’t figure it out?” Shinra hummed. “I must say, I’m a little disappointed in you.” Shinra snapped his fingers absently, “Maybe it was a mistake on my part.” He checked his silver watch on his left wrist.  

“You-you sent Shizuo away.” My mind thought back to the previous eight hours to recall anything that might have been drugged. “And you drugged my coffee.” I had downed four cups during my unexpected shift and even that barely kept me awake.

“Actually, I drugged the tea you drank from the fridge. You know, the one labeled for Kyouhei? I figured you would try to pull a dick move like that since his date went so well last night.” Shinra laughed and brushed strands of sweat stricken hair from my forehead. “I think it’s an endearing quality.”

I bared my teeth, “You were so upset about our…” My vision started to become blurry, “Conversation earlier that you had him sent away?”

“Well I mean the other chaperone unfortunately couldn’t do it since her daughter kind of um…dead.” Shinra continued to run his hands through my hair. “But, our conversation was a factor into my plan. I couldn’t just idly sit by and let you proceed to fornicate with that monster when he doesn’t deserve you.” His finger wound around a longer stand of my hair. “Especially when he’s married to someone else.”  

“I don’t understand.” I tried to shove his hand away, but my arm uselessly flopped on the floor. I felt pathetic. I hated feeling pathetic. My mind whirled with everything he was said about the daughter being dead. I almost figure out what I wanted to say before it slipped away into the mental fog that was quickly overtaking me.

“Are you really saying you missed it? Oh ‘Zaya, now I am definitely disappointed in you. The pieces are right in front of you! I thought you liked games. Well, I won’t ruin it for you, but let’s just say I had a feeling Shizuo would be butt hurt over your date last night and would jump at the chance to run away.” Shinra lifted my chin up with his thumb, “But, I’d never run away from you. I understand you Izaya. I understand all of you.” Shinra’s glasses reflected the overhead light and his grin really did make him look like a serial killer. “Nighty night ‘Zaya. I’ll be by your side when you wake up.”

**Shizuo**

“Shizuo, come on! You need to get up.” Izaya tugged on my arm.

“No.” I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. “I’m not working so I don’t have to.”

“Not even for breakfast?”

“Not hungry.”

Izaya sat on the edge of the mattress. “Shizuo, you’ve been acting weird since yesterday. Is something wrong?” Izaya tapped my leg.

“No.” I curled into a ball. “I’m perfectly fine. Nothing is wrong. I’m just enjoying vacation by sleeping.”

“Right.” Izaya yanked my ankle. “You’re a horrible liar Heiwajima, now get up before I make you get up.”

“Tch, your scrawny ass can’t do shit.” I snorted.

“Oh? You do realize I’m a fully trained officer right?”

“Yeah, I know.” I rolled out of my ball. “Can’t I just miss today? Do you really need me there?”

“Yes! I’m not staying with people I don’t know alone. What if Shingen decides to cut me open?”

“I thought Shingen said there was nothing special about you?” I sat up and leaned against the white wall that felt good against my back.

“That’s beside the point.” Izaya crossed his arms. “It could still happen, and I don’t trust him or his colleagues. I trust you, so get up, get dressed, and get downstairs so we can figure out how to get me back home before something terrible happens.”

My stomach churned at his words. “I kind of feel like something already has.”

**Izaya**

_ “Can’t you guys just try and get along?” Shinra whined. _

_ “Shinra, he’s a stupid animal. He doesn’t know how to get along with anyone unless someone trains him. It’s not my fault he isn’t housebroken.” I grinned brightly at the back of Shizuo’s blond head. _

_ The tips of Shizuo’s ears turned pink as he spun around to face me with a menacing snarl. “WHAT DID YOU SAY!” Shizuo stalked towards us. _

_ Shinra stepped back from me with a nervous chuckle. “You heard me.” I took a step towards him. “You and I can’t coexist because you simply aren’t well trained enough to be in the presence of human company.” I took another step towards the furious blond. “Oh, was coexist too big of a word? It means get along.” I laughed condescendingly. _

_ “You fucking piece of shit!” Shizuo yanked a yield sign out of the ground with one hand. “I’m gonna kill you!” _

_ “Tch, I’m going to have to buy you a shock collar since no one else seems up for the task of training you. I would use a squirt bottle, but I don’t think it’s strong enough for you.” I giggled and skipped down the street away from Raijin. “Come on, let’s get this training started before school begins. I bet I can train you to sit through a whole class period in just one day.” I whistled, “Come on boy!” I bit back a laugh after I patted my knees mockingly. “Come on Shizu-chan! If you hurry up, we can stop by the pet shop before class and buy you some dog treats for lunch.” _

_ “IIZAYAA!” Shizuo screamed and stormed towards me.  _

I forced my eyes open uncomfortably. My eyes watered before they adjusted to the sudden brightness. The smell of sea water filled my nostrils and I heard waves.

“Izaya, you’re finally awake!” Shinra practically sang. “I was starting to worry I overestimated your dosage.”

I looked around to see a shirtless Shinra in a green folding chair with a headless black bikini clad Celty in his lap. I turned my head forward to see a white sandy beach in the distance with glittering waves flowing against it. My heart raced as I realized Shinra kidnapped me again, but this time we were nowhere near Ikebukuro.

“Where are we? We’re in Okinawa.” Shinra sipped a beer. “Why are we here? Because you were way too stressed. Don’t worry I already used some of your vacation days and Kadota knows you're out of town. We’ll only be here four days, but it’s certainly nice to get out of ‘Bukuro every once in awhile.” Shinra pulled a beer out of a cooler next to him. “Beer?”

I stared at the name brand beer that dripped water in Shinra’s outstretched hand. I nodded and gingerly took the beer from his hand. I pulled the tab back and raised the drink to my lips. The yeasty taste hit my tongue and I realized how dry my mouth was. I downed it all in a few seconds.

“Whoa, I didn’t think you even liked beer.” Shinra laughed.

I squeezed the can in my hand. “I didn’t know you liked beer either.” I thought back to the pile of beer cans I found in the warehouse just a couple days earlier. So maybe that was his, I realized. Interesting, but now I wondered how did I even get here? I closed my eyes and tried to recall something, but all I managed to remember was the memory about Shizuo. My heart ached, why couldn’t he see I was just teasing him?

“Is Izaya-kun awake?” I heard a familiar voice chirp.

Shinra had a sly smile on his face, “Yes, Certy. Just play nice.” Shinra lifted his beer to his lips and wrapped an arm around Celty’s waist. He proceeded to move her between his outstretched legs followed by a kiss on her shoulder. 

“I-ZAY-A!” Certy sang and jumped onto my lap. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she was wearing black winged eyeliner. The most disturbing thing was the red that dripped from her lips that looked like poorly made children’s lipstick. It reminded me of the makeup my sisters used to play with. She tilted her head and laughed at what I could only assume was my expression. Certy continued to giggle like a chorus of tinkling bells as she raised her red coated index finger to my right cheek. “Honey can’t you remember, we played all the parts that sweet scene of surrender when you gave me your heart.” She sang in a soft voice. “Please say you will play it again ‘cause I love you still.” Certy moved her finger around my cheek. She leaned back with a sly grin, which was when I got a good look at what she was wearing.

Certy wasn’t in a swimsuit. She was in a black satin and lace babydoll lingerie piece that split under her practically exposed breasts to reveal a red stained stomach and solid black shorts that were probably from a different piece of sleep wear…sex wear? I’d never been interested in lingerie. It seemed bothersome and pointless considering how it was just one more step you had to take when having sex.

“Cute!” Celty pulled her top apart to reveal a dried red heart on the right side of her flat, pale stomach. “See, now we match!” Her grey eyes shone evilly as she moved closer to me. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck and she was pressing herself against my crotch.

I glowered at her, “Get off.”

Certy bounced down with a pout. “Shinra always likes when I do this.” She grumbled. “I even gave you a cute bloody heart.”

My eyes widened at her words. I touched my cheek then moved my stained fingertips in front of my face. The blood was turning a dark, dirty red since it was almost dry. My mouth opened in disgust and I turned my gaze back to Certy.

“Don’t worry.” She put more pressure on my crotch as she arched her back in a playful manner. “It’s not my blood.”

“How reassuring. Get off.”

Certy narrowed her eyes at me before she moved her face directly in front of mine. “Is this really doing nothing for you?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Shinra normally loves when I leave bloody kisses and hearts all over him.”

“Because he’s obviously a crazed pervert.” I let a false smile break through. “That’s the only way someone like you would get laid.” I gave her a hard shove and she slipped off my lap and onto the cement balcony with a thud.

Certy shot me a glare from the ground. “You-“

Shinra interrupted, “Certy, come on. Play nice. Izaya doesn’t want you on him right now.” Shinra chided like a mother to a bothersome child.

Certy rolled her eyes at me and turned to face Shinra. She grabbed the white cooler in the middle of our chairs and pulled it between her legs. She lifted the lid to reveal different beers, bottled water, and some umeshu. She pulled out a can of umeshu and popped the top with a dissatisfied frown.

“Certy, did you finish?” Shinra’s tone serious for once.

“Yeah.” She raised the can to her lips and took a couple of swigs.

“Did you make a mess?” Shinra asked from the crook of Celty’s neck.

“Yeah.” She answered annoyed.

Shinra unwrapped himself from Celty and swung his long legs over the chair. “Let’s clean.” He put an outstretched hand towards her.

“Then you’ll play with me?” Certy asked before grabbing his hand.

“Of course my love.”

Certy’s frown dissipated into a huge grin. “Yes!” She wrapped herself around the now standing Shinra. 

Shinra’s black swim trunks made a swishing sound as he moved towards the door, “We’ll be back in a little bit. You two have fun!”

I watched the sliding door close behind them and glanced at Celty who had her phone out.

_ Anything you want to talk about?  _ She typed.

“Probably why am I here, how long was I out, and where is my cellphone?” I spat in frustration.

Celty paused for a moment before she typed.  _ Shinra wanted you here, I’d say between 8-12 hours, and I think Shinra has it. _

 “Of course. How did we even get here?” I stared out onto the beach and noticed that there wasn’t anyone out. “Why isn’t there any people?”

_ Private beach. A friend of Shinra’s lends us his estate every year for a vacation. _

“But how did we get here? We obviously didn’t take the ferry.”

_ Plane. _

“You wouldn’t be able to get me on a plane passed out.” This was probably my only chance to get any questions answered before Shinra and that crazed idiot came back.

_ The person who lends us the estate also has a private plane and jet at his disposal. _

“Let me guess, this person works for Nebula? Oh wait, the Yakuza.” I smirked.

_ He’s retired. He sold his company and travels the world now. He’s hardly ever here. _

“Do you mind telling me his name? I’m curious now. Your Shinra obviously doesn’t get out often enough to have very many friends.”

_ I don’t think it matters. _

“It matters to me.”

Celty paused again before she typed,  _ I’ll let Shinra tell you if he wants to. I’m not interested in discussing that right now. _

My right eye twitched in annoyance. She was clearly unwilling to tell me much of anything, so with that I decided to change tactics. “Now Celty, something has just been eating away at me since I first met this Shinra.” I turned my body towards her. “How does sex work? Do you just have threesomes every night, or does he take turns?”

A pillar of black smoke erupted from Celty as she typed furiously,  _ That’s wayyy too personal! _

“So, threesomes?” I laughed at Celty’s expense. “Isn’t he just the luckiest pervert. My Shinra can barely hold himself together over one dullahan. I can’t imagine what he’d do if he saw you.” I snickered obnoxiously.

Celty rolled away from me, but stuck her arm out for a single question.  _ What’s your Shinra like? _

“What’s Shinra like? Well, he’s not too much different than your Shinra except he’s not into kidnapping, drugging, murdering civilians, and actually holds a somewhat healthier view of love that doesn’t involve forcing his love onto those who don’t want it.”

_ Shinra isn’t a rapist!  _ Celty huffed and a large cloud of black smoke appeared over her neck.

“Ghee, I’m so relieved to hear that considering how he’s drugged me twice in the single week I’ve known him.” I took a deep breath to remind myself that I would need her help to get out of here. “Besides that off putting occurrence, I have no romantic interest in Shinra. I think you both are a handful enough for him already.” I scooted my chair closer to her. “How about we do ourselves a favor and you tell me where to find my wallet and phone so I can leave you three on your romantic vacation.”

Celty moved her hands in a no motion,  _ I can’t. Shinra wants you here because he loves you and I love him. You make him happy. _

The fleeting rise of hope that had possessed me disappeared. “But, I don’t make you happy. I don’t make Certy happy.” I argued. 

Celty shrugged and typed again,  _ We love Shinra and will do whatever he asks of us. _

I stood abruptly from the chair and knocked it over to shout, “That’s not love and I will have no part of it!” I jumped over the balcony and landed in a twin pair of green bushes below. My shoes sank in the white sand as I rushed around to the front of the house that took much longer than I expected due to the sheer size of the beach house and my still shaky legs.  There had to be a garage. A garage meant a vehicle that I could hopefully use to get away from here. My feet pounded against sand, then dirt, grass, and finally the asphalt of the hideously long driveway. I slowed my pace to gaze at the vast expanse of it. Now I needed a vehicle for sure. My mind raced as I saw an almost open entrance to a pale yellow garage on the left of the driveway that was separate from the beach house. I sprinted forward with every ounce of strength I could muster and let out a sigh of relief as I heaved the white garage door up. I thought I could escape until I saw it.   

Everything slowed like when I had just fallen through the portal just a couple days earlier, but this time it was due to the disastrous scene before me.

**Blood**

There was blood splattered across half the garage including parts of the ceiling. There were bloody footprints and hearts smeared along the floor and walls. Two figures stood in the garage, but only one had their back facing me. Disgusted I took in every detail. Bloody hearts and kiss marks covered Shinra’s bare back as he stood in an apron, goggles, rubber gloves, and heavy boots. There was a bucket on the floor and a mop beside it. Random cleaning supplies covered the counter behind him.

“I-ZAY-A! Look!” A blood soaked Certy jammed a nail into the remains of an exposed human brain with her bare hands. The body twitched. “Isn’t it funny? Shinra was just explaining to me what parts of the brain control muscle movements.” Certy picked up an orange nail gun from the floor and shot another nail into a different area. “Look, his leg twitched that time!”

I backed away with bile burning my throat. The pungent smell of death hit my nose once more, but worse anything I’d ever smelled before.

“Izaya, it’s not what it looks like.” Shinra said in a poor attempt to soothe me. “He was a traitor to the Yakuza.”

I’ve seen dead bodies before. I watched plenty of my playthings smack the Ikebukuro pavement while I observed the blood and organs that left their bodies, but this was just…wrong. So wrong with the mutilated body still twitching as Certy shot different nails into the brain and spinal column. So wrong as her laughter echoed throughout the garage like a child with a new toy. My chest started to rise and fall in increasing panic as I saw black human hair float towards me when a light breeze ruffled the bushes on either side of the garage. Another wave of death came with that breeze. My eyes cast downwards in attempt to avoid the tuffs of hair when I spied bloodied fingers under the chair that the body was still propped up in. My gaze snapped towards the stub of a right hand that dangled freely at its side.  

“Izaya, deep breaths. It’s not like you haven’t seen a dead body before.” Shinra said nonchalantly. He slid his goggles to the top of his head and attempted to move towards me.

I raised my hand, “Sta-stay away.” My voice quakes in fear now that I fully realized what Shizuo had tried to warn me. I should have listened. I’ve lived my life around dangerous people, but the feeling of horror that gripped my body when I looked at these two was unlike anything I’ve felt before.

“Izaya, come on. It’s not even the worst Certy’s ever done.” Shinra peeled the yellow gloves off and still approached me despite my weak protests. “Look, you know I’m an underground doctor just like your Shinra is. But, I just have closer ties with different organizations. Sometimes I get asked dispose of certain individuals that don’t deserve any mercy like rapists, which is why I get a lot of money to let Certy…play with them.” Shinra closed in with blood splattered cheeks. “But, you don’t have to worry about anything. You’re perfectly safe.” He cooed. “I’d never let anything hurt you.” 

I covered my nose and stumbled backwards. “You stink.” My eyes watered with the horrible smell. “And I don’t remember mentioning what my Shinra did for a living to you.”

“Yeah deceased bodies tend to do sink. I’m going to be busy for awhile, so why don’t you go back to Celty and watch the ocean? You’d feel better.” Shinra crooned like he was comforting an upset child as he ignored my comment.

I noticed Shooter and a red motorcycle to the left of the garage. “Okay.” I answered in a shaky breath. I’d just have to wait to make my escape.

Shinra smiled, “Great, and don’t worry about Certy. She’d never hurt you. She’s normally pretty harmless.” Shinra’s sweaty, outstretched hand brushed my cheek. “Well nothing serious anyway. Just play nice with her and she’ll play nice with you.” Shinra raised my hand to his lips. “See you soon ‘Zaya.” Shinra’s kiss left an unholy burn on the back of my hand as he turned to go back in the garage.

“You killed her didn’t you? You had Certy kill that girl and that’s what you meant about the missing piece. You knew Shizuo would be the only one willing to go on that school trip on such short notice.”

Shinra paused in front of the garage. “Now you’re getting it.” He pulled the garage door down without facing me.

I turned my back on the scene and began to stumble towards the beach. I needed to get out of here as soon as possible.

**Shizuo**

“Shizuo, let’s go out for lunch.” Shingen plopped into the chair next to me. “We can get some deep dish pizza.”

I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. “I guess.”

“You seem uncharacteristically uninterested. Are you unable to lift the street signs here?”

My forehead throbbed, “No.” I growled. “And I’m willing to show you just to smack you with it if you don’t stop.”

“Easy there tiger.” Shingen chuckled. “I’m merely asking because you seem pretty upset after your drunken incident.”

“I’m fine.” I snapped and turned my body away from Shingen ashamed.

“Well there’s nothing wrong with having feelings for someone.”

“I don’t have feelings for that shitty louse!” I felt my face burn and I couldn’t understand why.

“Well Shizuo, do you know what the opposite emotion of love is?”

“Hate obviously.” I grumbled. I stared at the grey carpet with feigned interest as I waited for Shingen to tell me I was wrong. He’s done that a lot since we arrived.

“Actually, it’s indifference. If you really didn’t have any feelings for Izaya, you wouldn’t be so bothered by his actions.”

I rolled my eyes, “He can keep his shitty plans out of my city.” My hands clenched around the armrest, “He ruins lives and he’s a piece of shit. He smells like shit.” My hands clenched tighter till I heard the wood break.

“Okay, how about we grab lunch?” Shingen stood up. “You’ll feel better, and I’ll have excuse to eat more than I should.” He patted his gut and exclaimed, “Chicago has some of the best food in the world!” Shingen frowned at my unimpressed face. “And we can get ice cream after. There’s a place that has a sundaes bigger than your head.”

I perked up, “Okay.” My mouth watered at the thought of ice cream. Maybe this trip wouldn’t be so bad after all.

**Izaya**

“Izaya-kun, do you wanna build a sandcastle?” The now clean Certy appeared in a pink bikini with a bright green bucket in her hand.

“Not particularly. I’d like my phone back though.” I watched the waves drench the sand in the methodically in and out motion.

Certy dropped to her knees with next to me, “Make a sand castle with me and I’ll get it for you.”

I barely glanced in her direction, “Oh, and I should believe you why?” My heart hammered though at the thought of being able to contact Kadota or Shizuo.

“Because I know where it is.” Certy started shoving wet sand in her bucket like an overgrown child. “You’d never be able to get it without my help.”

I snorted, “Really now?” A small smirk pulled at my lips. “I bet you don’t know where it is. I bet Shinra threw it away so I couldn’t get it.” I faked a sigh. “I guess I don’t feel like playing with you then.”

Certy dropped the bucket, “I do to know where it is!” She glared, “Play with me and I’ll get it for you.” She repeated. 

I turned my head to hide my smile, “I just can’t trust you.”

Certy stood up, “Fine! I’ll get it right now and then you have to build a sandcastle with me before it gets dark.” She stomped away towards the house.

“Ah, I’m so happy you're as stupid as you are crazy Certy-Chan.” I could play with Certy for my wallet and phone, steal the motorcycle, and drive to the nearest city before Shizuo even realized what happened. “Finally something is going my way.”

**Shizuo**

“You know liking men isn’t considered weird anymore. It’s honestly normal.” Shingen took a small spoonful of our overly large sundae that was dripping in caramel, chocolate syrup, and colorful sprinkles.

I glared with a large scoop of ice cream melting in my mouth. “Shut up with that and just let me eat my ice cream.” I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth. The rich, creamy flavor of chocolate and vanilla burst over my tongue. “This is the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted.”

The waitress with a long, brown ponytail blinked in response.

“He said this is the best ice cream he’s ever had.” Shingen answered in English.

“Yes.” I spoke in my shaky English between bites.

The woman smiled, “It comes straight from a dairy farm in southern Wisconsin.”

I turned to Shingen in confusion. I didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean.

“It’s the dairy state of the Midwest. They have lots of cows.” Shingen spoke in Japanese.

I nodded, “This is my first time in the United States.” I lowered my eyes embarrassed. Did Americans have to smile so much? Don’t their cheeks hurt, I wondered.

The waitress giggled, “Well I hope you enjoy.” She slid the check between Shingen and I.

Shingen picked up the check with a chuckled, “So, it looks like she thought you were cute.”

“Mmm?” I had more delicious ice cream in my mouth. I swallowed, “No wonder the world thinks Americans are fat. This is amazing.”

“The waitress left you her phone number.” Shingen flipped the check around to face me.

I shrugged, “Okay.” I tried to act like it didn’t affect me, but I felt…happy that she found me attractive. Women never approached me in Ikebukuro unless they wanted their debts erased or they were masochists.

“That’s not the response of someone who’s interested in women.”

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t even know her.”

“Well you won’t know anyone with that attitude. No wonder you like Izaya.”

It took every ounce of control I had not to break the table. “Just. Stop.”

“I suppose I can stop for now.” Shingen lifted his wrist, “Oh my. We should get back and bring Izaya 2.0 some pizza.”

“Alright.” I dropped my spoon. Half of the monster sundae still remained. “Should we bring him this?”

Shingen shrugged, “If you want. But, get a tub from that waitress. I bet you would make her day.”

“I doubt that.” Still it was nice to be in a place where people didn’t turn down a different street when they saw me, and I realized I could get used to this freedom. 

**Izaya**

Certy came back with my phone and wallet a couple minutes later. “See, I told you.” She huffed and sat back down in the sand. My wallet and phone sat behind her. 

“Alright, let’s build a sandcastle.”

Certy was very easy to distract. Her mannerisms were remarkably childlike as she sang along with her phone to old bands like The Beatles and The Beach Boys. I was beginning to see why Shinra believed she was so harmless. She appeared so externally, but the haunting image of her actions earlier burned all traces of innocence from my mind. “You probably think I’m weird for liking this music.” Certy worked on her side of the growing castle intently.

“Somewhat.”

“It annoys Shinra. He thinks my music choices are weird, but it’s the music Shingen and another scientist would play for me in America.” Certy wore a sad smile and her movements slowed. “I spent nearly all my life in America.”  

“Did you?” Oh how I love it when people trust me. 

“Yeah.” Certy’s face became very serene that reminded me so much of the head in the jar. “All I had was a radio for a long time after Shingen died. Americans love radio you know, well except the new generation…millennials?” Certy looked at me expectantly like I was supposed to have the answer.

“Yes.” I answered simply. Certy had no idea what she was talking about. “Certy, do you know what year it is?” I asked casually.

Certy blinked and reached for her phone, which was the only answer I needed.

“Do you even know what month it is?”

Certy frowned and pulled her phone close. “It doesn’t really matter. It’s not like I age.” Certy went back to forcing her sand into an upwards mound. It slumped on the right side 

“But, Shinra does.” I saw Certy freeze, “What are you going to do when he dies?” I asked as a cruel smile spread across my face. “Will you kill yourself?” 

Certy’s gray eyes locked onto mine. “That’s not going to happen. There’s a plan.” Certy finished her slumped  side and threw my phone and wallet on top of the castle. “Thanks for playing with me.” She grabbed her bucket and skipped back towards the house. 

I turned my phone on to see three missed calls for Kadota and ten missed texts from Shizuo. I quickly opened Shizuo’s texts.

_ Hey _

_ Hey, how’s work? _

_ Hello? _

_ I called the office and they said you were on vacation? _

_ Hello? _

_ What the hell is going on? _

The texts proceeded to get angrier and were riddled with worry.  _ Shizuo, I’m in trouble. I didn’t take vacation _

“Izaya.” Shinra called in an annoyed tone.

_ I’m working the cases and you were right about Shinra.  _ I managed to hit send before a black tentacle took my phone.

“Izaya, you shouldn’t be so attached to your phone on vacation.” Shinra stood above me with Celty on his arm. “Ah, texting the blond monster.” Shinra clucked. “Celty, you handle it my darling.” Shinra handed my phone to her. “Come on Izaya, let’s go play chess.” His hand wrapped around my wrist as he yanked me behind him. 

I bit back my anger as I followed him in a fashion that felt a death march. “You know Shinra, I never thought someone would displace Shizuo from my top hated list, but you’ve managed to make me consider moving you there.” I said in a snarky tone that lacked the true anger boiling inside me. 

Shinra replied with a chuckle. 

It was then I decided I really didn’t like this Shinra. 

**Shizuo**

“One more picture. My hair looks weird in that one.” Izaya smoothed the stray piece of hair down. 

I took a deep breath, “Alright. One more.” I wished death upon whoever made this stupid shiny bean that was obviously made to torture unsuspecting boyfriends and photographers. I clicked the phone and Izaya grabbed for the it a second later. 

“Much better. Thanks Shizuo. Do you want one?” 

I grimaced at the idea of a picture of me next to this shiny piece of shit that was just for tourists. “Naw, let’s keep going.” 

We walked along the sidewalk that branched from the monument and I could see the edge of a huge lake. 

“That must be Lake Michigan! It almost looks like an ocean. Shingen was telling me that there’s a beach around here somewhere that people go to.” Izaya looked around with wonder. “I really like this park.” Izaya pulled out his phone. “Cloud Gate Park, oh no. Millennium Park. I wonder why they named it that?” 

“No clue.” I sighed. 

“You don’t seem very interested.” Izaya frowned as he stared at the right side of my face. 

I turned away, “It’s nothing.” I brushed off his concern. Then I saw something that made my blood boil. “Hey asshole!” I yelled and sprinted towards some guy in black trying to steal some old ladies purse. “Why don’t you pick on someone else!” I raised my fist and punched the guy hard. The guy flew across the double street and smacked into the brick building. “Shit.” I punched too hard. I watched the guy slump to the sidewalk as people around me started to move in close with their cellphones out. 

“Come on!” Izaya grabbed my arm and picked the purple purse off the sidewalk. “Here you go, have a nice night!” He threw the purse and dragged me a couple blocks away from the scene into some athletic store. “You can’t just whack people into buildings Shizuo!” Izaya hissed before his attention was averted elsewhere. “Oh! I need new leggings!” He picked up a pair of black and pink athletic leggings. He stretched them between his hands. 

“You don’t wear those out, do you?” I cringed. 

“Duh, you can’t keep something this cute to yourself!” Izaya folded them over his arm and excitedly moved to the next table. 

I already knew where this was going. “I’m not carrying your bags.” I groaned. But, I knew I would end up doing it anyway. 

“We should workout tomorrow!” Izaya gasped and then looked at larger sizes of shorts. 

“Why?” I never felt the need to workout with my superhuman strength and chasing Izaya all over the city. 

“Because it keeps you healthy and you’ll feel better afterwards.” Izaya started to pick out blue activewear shirts. 

“I’m not wearing leggings.” 

“I never said you had to. I like leggings because they make my butt look good.” Izaya sashayed to yet another table. 

“Should I just grab a chair?” I sighed. 

“Mmm...probably. It might be an hour.” 

I scanned the room and saw a chair by an elevator. I hiked over and sank into the cushy chair. I pulled out my phone to see I had a couple of messages from a number I didn’t know. I opened the messages unknowingly to find they were pictures of crudely made drawings. I squinted and zoomed in to see it was a horribly drawn Izaya and I in a bed. The vein in my forehead throbbed as I scrolled to the last message.  _ Shizu-chan, I saw the video of you confessing your love for Izaya XD I couldn't help but draw some Shizaya doujinshi! I hope you enjoy, and feel free to borrow some of my ideas for when you get Izaya back. See you when you come home! xoxo- your bff Erika _

“SHINGEN!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey here's Certy's beach playlist that no one asked for:
> 
> 1\. Kokomo- Beach Boys  
> 2\. Key Largo- Bertie Higgins  
> 3\. Wouldn't it be nice- Beach Boys  
> 4\. Under the Boardwalk- The Drifters  
> 5\. Here Comes the Sun- The Beatles  
> 6\. Walking on Sunshine- Katrina & The Waves  
> 7\. Girls Just Want to have Fun- Cyndi Lauper  
> 8\. Unwritten- Natasha Bedingfield  
> 9\. Good Vibrations- Beach Boys  
> 10\. California Dreamin'- The Mamas & The Papas  
> 11\. California Girls- Beach Boys  
> 12\. Mr. Blue Sky- ELO
> 
> I think I'm going to start doing something extra at the end of chapters like this. I have some other fun ideas, and I listened to all of these songs when writing+editing this chapter. Seriously edited it 8 times so if there's mistakes I might fix them later. 
> 
> Shout out to everyone that commented on the last chapter because I updated a day early thanks to you! If you have questions feel free to ask below. I'll do my best to answer without giving away too many spoilers. 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	10. The Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s pretty obvious you do and have for years.” Shinra moved closer, “And when we get our asshole Izaya back, you’re going to tell him that you have feelings for him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the struggle bus! What does this chapter have in store, you ask? Well...
> 
> Shizuo Heiwajima: Sunshine, shopping, and dealing with repressed feels like always. 
> 
> Izaya Orihara: Polygamist stalker who doesn't understand personal boundaries or why kidnapping is wrong. It's for love, right? That makes it okay.

**Izaya**

“So, how long are we going to keep playing chess together?’ I asked in an icy tone. I leaned on the back of the wicker chair Shinra had dragged into the living room for me to sit in that lacked the comfort of my own furniture back home. I understood the need to match the beach themed decor, but couldn’t this obviously well off homeowner have finer furniture for his guests?    

 

Shinra’s round face concentrated the black pieces in front of him, “How about we break our tie and you can choose what we do next.” His dark eyes flickered above my head, “Or you can retire to your room. I don’t want you to feel pressured to stay up with me if you’re not feeling up to it.” His slim fingers wrapped around a knight and moved it forward. His focused gaze switched from the game to me at the end of his turn.

 

“How considerate of you Shinra. It’s almost like you aren’t holding me here against my will.” I forced a cold smile across my face. The alarming image of him covered in blood flooded my mind once more and I was forced again to speculate on my level of safety with this Shinra despite his consistent claims otherwise. Shinra was always a perplexing person to me, but this Shinra even more so. They lacked a lot of commonalities, the biggest being sanity. One thing did bind them together though: their infatuation with their dullahan love. Except this Shinra seemed intent on having the full set and me along with it for some elusive reason I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It really didn’t make any sense when I thought about it. I’m not exactly a loving person, I lack the experience Shinra is obviously used to, and I don’t follow directions unlike his two monstrous girlfriends. Perhaps I was merely holding the other Izaya’s place? I mulled over this option while I wiggled a white pawn under my thumb, but it didn’t add up. It could be a probable solution to this question, but this Shinra had mentioned on multiple occasions that he loved me for me. That spout of nonsense was a large indicator of his level sanity seeing as he knows nothing about me aside from certain distressing facts about my life in my own dimension. How he knew those facts was equally frightening as his declarations of love. It could just be his obvious break with reality that made him spout such revolting things, I mentally reasoned. It’s not like this Shinra could fathom everything I am, much less love me for it, yet he did claim to love Certy and she was a horrendous creation from his crazed father.

 

Just as I was about to move my own knight, Certy padded her way into the room. She wore silky pajama shorts and matching pink top. She edged forward into the living room like a child afraid of the repercussions her intrusion might bring. Shinra made no indication that her appearance upset or pleased him as she dove over the sofa and wrapped her arms and legs around him. He just stared at his pieces while I watched them. Certy rested her head on his shoulder as she stared at his pieces carefully scattered all over the board. She didn’t say anything, and neither did Shinra.

 

What a silly little girl, I smirked to myself. An immortal being of death reduced to a childish infatuation with a psychopath. She could kill Shinra without a second thought, yet she clung to his back seeking reassurance that he wasn’t still mad at her. I wouldn’t even say Shinra became cross with her at all; he merely sent her to a bedroom after he dragged me inside from the beach.  

 

Certy smiled when Shinra finally whispered something in her ear. She unlatched herself from him then skipped out of the room completely chipper.  “Are you going to make a move?” Shinra asked while he rested his cheek in the palm of his right hand and eyed me with a thoughtful expression. His dark eyes were half lidded in a lazy sort of gaze with his lips relaxed into a small smile.

 

I said nothing as I felt my cheeks burn. Shinra was rather attractive, in a bookish sort of way. I moved a pawn halfheartedly as I returned to my introspected on Shinra-my Shinra. He was odd, bubbly, and very unpredictable. In fact, the only consistency about him that was love for Celty. If he didn’t have that….he might have morphed into the psycho that sat before me. I always speculated he would become a serial killer based on his lack of meaningful human interaction and obsession with things of the supernatural variety.

 

I turned my gaze from the game as a horrible thought crossed my mind. Would I have ended up with Shinra if he never met Celty? I cringed at the mere thought of Shinra loving me like this one claimed. Now that I’ve been stuck in this dimension for over a week, my thoughts on my fellow...friends began to change. Perhaps Shinra had a far darker side than I ever could have imagined based on the actions of this dimensional Shinra, maybe Shizuo wasn’t as stupid as I took him for, and my fascination for toying with humans is possibly what got me banished to this hellish version of my life in the first place. Maybe I had really died, and this was my eternal hell that I would be cursed to for eternity. This theory had many holes in it though, like the fact I still had a pulse.

 

“Izaya, are you done thinking? You’ve been staring at the floor for nearly five minutes. I’m starting to get jealous.” Shinra tapped the black and white board. “Or were you thinking about us on the floor? I would happily act out any fantasy you wanted.” He leaned closer across the wicker table that matched my chair without knocking down any pieces. His dark eyes glittered with perverted happiness.

 

“Oh, would you now?” I whispered in a husky voice. “You really would act out my deepest fantasies?” I fluttered my dark lashes playfully.  

 

Blush covered Shinra’s cheeks as his eyes widened to the size of saucers followed by his head bobbing yes enthusiastically.

 

I leaned over the chessboard, “Good, you know what I need you to do then?”  

 

Shinra, still thrown off by my sudden sexual prowess, met my lean with a pink face. “What?” He asked stunned.

 

I licked the corner of my mouth before answering, “I need you to lie on your back while Shizuo stomps the life out of you till you're just a bloody smear on his monster sized foot.”

 

His wide eyed arousal soured into an unamused expression. “That was a cruel tease ‘Zaya.” He huffed and moved his bishop in front of my king. “Checkmate. I’m going to bed.” He stood from the table and stalked out of the living room. “If you feel like making love with a real man, you can always sleep with me.” Shinra called over his shoulder and winked. “It can’t be appealing doing a stupid animal who plows you into the mattress.” He muttered loudly before he left.

 

His words had the opposite effect though. That’s exactly what I wanted.  

 

**Shizuo**

 

“I’m gonna kill him!” I stormed out of the store with Izaya’s six bags in hand. “No more shopping! I need to kick Shingen’s ass across Chicago.”

 

“But, Shizuo~” Izaya stomped behind me with a whine. “I wanted to check out three other stores and they close in an hour.”

 

“Well I don’t care! We already went to four stores. How much shopping do you need to do anyway?” I snapped while my body shook. “Killkillkillkillkill.” I muttered under my breath. Familiar range filled my being and I had the overwhelming urge to rip up the entire street light just to chuck it behind me.

 

“Would you cut that out? You can’t kill Shingen anyway. That’s murder and murder is wrong.”

 

I felt Izaya’s arms wrap around my waist as we stopped at the crosswalk. I uncomfortably stiffened at his surprise affection. “Knock it off.” I tugged at his arms. “Everyone knows not to touch me when I’m angry.”

 

“Oh relax, it’s a hug. Nothing’s wrong with a hug.” Izaya squeezed. “And why don’t you let anyone touch you when you’re angry? Did someone tell you that when you were a child?”

 

I growled but let him hang on until the cross walk sign lit up. “No.”

 

“Did you hurt someone?”

 

“I said that’s enough!” I shouted. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I ripped his clasped arms from around my waist. I stormed ahead.

 

“Shizuo.” Izaya’s voice called after me. “Shizuo, you can’t just run away from your problems!”

 

“I’m not running away!” I spun around. “I’m just pissed! I’m pissed about being here, I’m pissed about...EVERYTHING!” I roared to the dismay of Izaya.

 

His face turned red as he glanced at the white strangers who gawked at us. “Well I’m sorry you’re pissed.” Izaya stomped towards me like an angry parent. “But, you keep your voice down! People are staring.” He snapped.

 

“Let them stare! What do I care if I get stared at?” I threw my arms out. “I’m a freak of nature anyway.” The words burned as soon as they left my mouth and I felt embarrassed by my open vulnerability with the carbon copy of my mortal enemy. I already gave into his whims ninety percent of the time since he got here. That was embarrassing enough. What made it worse was how considerate this Izaya was. The real Izaya would have provoked my breakdown further like the piece of shit louse he was. He probably would have laughed that stupid, annoying laugh that made him sound like a psycho out of a horror movie. He would have said ‘Shizu-chan just now realizes that! I guess my years of persistence finally paid off’ or something along those lines.

 

“Okay, that’s it. We’re leaving.” Izaya grabbed my upper arm and dragged me the whole way back to the hotel bickering the entire time about my behavior. “That was inexcusable! You’re twenty four years old! I have never been as embarrassed in my life as I was at you today. You need a better outlet for your anger. We’ll go to the gym since you want to crush something so bad.” Izaya puffed his cheeks out in dissatisfaction. He reminded me of an angry chipmunk.

 

I silently fumed. The last place I wanted to be was at the gym, but I was going to go anyway. So this is what being married was like.

 

**Izaya**

 

The house was quiet besides the quiet whirring noise of the air conditioning. I took this opportunity to slide out the rather small bedroom window of the equally small guest bedroom. I inferred Shinra placed me there on purpose as a way of enticing me into his bedroom that was up to my normal standard of living. But, I am the great Izaya Orihara, and I crawl into no one’s bed for comfort.

 

I landed into a small crouch near some exotic plants that lined the home. I quietly followed the same path from earlier to the pale yellow, detached garage. For some reason a foreboding feeling overtook me like my escape had been far too easy for the amount of effort Shinra took to get me here.  

 

“Just where do you think you’re going Izaya-kun?”Certy sang from the darkness. “Running away in the middle of the night? And you say I’m childish.” A light illuminated under the garage to show Certy sitting on the paved drive way disheveled with her pink, silky strap dangling off her shoulder and her pale breasts almost spilling out once more. Her tawny colored hair clung around her neck with pieces wisping at the top. She glowed eerily under the light with that unnatural beauty of hers that caused all sorts of men fall to their knees at the mere sight of her.

 

I was not one of those men. “Perhaps I just fancied a ride around the estate.” I watched her carefully. Her lips parted in a thoughtful expression before pulling back into a rueful smile.

 

“You should have taken a ride on Shinra’s dick. It’s way better.” Certy giggled madly. She covered her mouth with a large butcher knife under the light while her fit of laughter continued.

 

“How uncreative. You could have at least thrown some sort of pun in there, or is that beyond your capabilities Certy-chan?” I angled my head condescendingly. “And I thought you said you’d kill me if I touched your Shinra?”

 

“Exactly why I suggested it!” She clenched her side. “Don’t you see? That’s what is soooo funny about it! Plus you would have been so miserable.” She ran her tongue along the knife. “Would you have cried out for Shizuo?” Certy’s perfect white teeth clenched around the top of the knife. “I bet you would have. You would have cried out for him like he was just the love of your life.” Certy started to laugh again with the knife still pressed against her lips. “But, we both know that’s not true, no, no, no-” Certy leaned her back against the white garage door. She slowly pressed herself upwards along it while her skin made a squelching sound against the metal as she rose. “We both know that your...Shizuo hates you. He hates you so much that he tries to squash you like a little bug whenever he catches sight of you.” Certy gave a wide smile when she stood on both legs. She extended her arm that held the knife upwards to let it glitter in the light just as she was. “That doesn’t even address the fact he’s obviously straight. Poor, misguided Orihara. I don’t any actions you’ve taken to ruin his life will fix his sexuality.”  

 

“How do you know that?” I narrowed my eyes. “Has your darling lover been spying on me? Oh, wait. I better be more specific with you. Let me rephrase: has your Shinra been spying on me?”

 

Certy clacked the knife against the door with a sour expression. “Who knows Orihara? Maybe it was just written all over your face when you practically begged this dimension's Shizuo to shove his tongue down your throat the other day? Pretty desperate, and in a public place nevertheless.” Her falsely sweet voice mocked.

 

I ignored her jeers. “So you have been spying on me. Did Shinra order you to do it?” I took my first step closer to the garage.

 

“Why should it matter?” Certy dropped her arm down and let the knife screech against the door. Her pink top now ran lower. “This is starting to bore me. Why don’t you try running away so I can catch you?” Her smile glowed menacingly.

 

My frustration bubbled, “Why don’t you inform Shinra of my impending escape since you’re his pet anyway.” I closed my eyes and changed tactics. “Maybe go tell him I’ll take him up on his offer and fuck him. I bet I could make him moan in ways you never could. I bet he’d forget all about you once he has me.” I couldn’t tell which of my words offended her more, but her reaction was just as I predicted.

 

Certy’s face twisted in fury. Her hands gripped the knife and snarled, “I told you to stay away from him!” She lunged forward in an attempt to slash me. “He’s mine!”

 

“You’re the one who suggested I should.”  I giggled and danced around her brash swings.  “Besides, he’s not yours. Not really. Why else would you be out in the cold while Celty is safe in his bed? Face it; you’re just his dad’s experiment. You’re just his pet.” I slipped between her thrashes with a huge grin. I led her away from the garage. I only needed to get her a little further away before I could reach the motorcycle with just enough time to escape.

 

“SHUT UP!” Her fist landed in the bushes and I took that opportunity to use my knife that was still left on my person to shove into her eye. It was a cheap shot on my part, but I wanted her incapacitated. Certy screamed and clenched her hand around her face.

 

I sprinted to the red and black motorcycle that was propped up along the garage so carelessly. It even had a helmet hanging off the left handle and the keys were still in it.

 

“ORIHARA!” Certy cried from behind me.

 

I made one finally glance as I straddled the bike.

 

Certy stood under the outskirts of the garage light with her head bowed. She clutched my knife in her bloodied fist while her butcher’s knife had fallen to the pavement. The light glowed behind her making her figure a distorted yellow. “You better hope I don’t catch you.” She opened both grey eyes that defied all logic of the wound I inflicted. “Because I’m going to make it hurt.” Then she smiled that too perfect smile like the murderous doll she was.

 

I twisted my hands around the handles and the bike sprang forward. I only realized what she had been referring to when I was halfway down the driveway.

**Shizuo**

 

“Shizuo, please-no!” Izaya gasped.

 

I bent my knees and lifted the entire weight rack up above my head. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU SHINGEN!” The plates clattered to the ground as I shook with furry.

 

“What on Earth did I do to you?” Shingen scratched his head. “And if you really want to test your strength, I could set you up in a lower room that has much heavier weights.”

 

“Killkillkillkill.” I chanted under my breath as my fists squeezed around the black coated metal.

 

“He’s upset because one of his friends found out about his video confession on your phone.” Izaya answered in a clipped tone. “Shizuo, please put the rack down. I’m not done lifting.”

 

I felt Izaya tap my taunt shoulder. “No! Not until I crush Shingen with it.”

 

Shingen waved his arms in front of him. “This is simply a misunderstanding! I didn’t send anything! I merely recorded for my own research.”

 

“THEN WHO SENT IT!” I set the weight rack down before I killed either one of these idiots without proof. “It had to be you!”

 

“I did.” Shinra walked into the gym wearing normal jeans and a t-shirt. “I thought it was time you admitted your feelings for Izaya and who better to hold you accountable than Erika?” Shinra readjusted his glasses.

 

“I don’t have-”

 

“It’s pretty obvious you do and have for years.” Shinra moved closer, “And when we get our asshole Izaya back, you’re going to tell him that you have feelings for him.”

 

My face flushed with humiliation, “I would never do that even if I did have feelings for him!” My words lacked the bite I intended. I felt caught-exposed.

 

“You'll do it, or I’ll post it in a dollars forum if Erika hasn’t told everyone that matters by then.”

 

Just then my phone vibrated in my basketball shorts. I pulled my gold colored phone out with a sigh to see Kasuka had texted me a single sentence: _We need to talk_. “I hate you all.”

 

**Izaya**

 

I drove the bike around the closed gate at the beginning of the driveway, which tripped an alarm of course. A loud noise filled the night air, and a large spot light beamed down on my back. It didn’t matter though. I was still going to leave this place whether Shinra was aware of it or not.

 

“I-ZA-YA!” A voice taunted in my ear. “That’s right, I bet you didn’t even think about the possibility of a radio when you threw on MY helmet. I know exactly where you are, and where you’re going. I had hoped you’d just run on foot. It would have been more fun that way.” Certy giggled madly. “Now I guess I just have to make it look like you got into a motorcycle accident while I tried to stop you. Those kinds of things do happen all the time.”

 

The bray of a horse caused me to lean further. Faster, faster, faster, were the only words that filled my mind.

 

“Then Shinra won’t be upset at me when you die, not like he’d be that upset anyway. There are two of you after all. It doesn’t matter which one he gets.”

 

“Are you sure you aren’t talking about yourself Certy?” I jumped a ditch and squealed onto an unknown road. I jerked the bike to the right and bounced in my seat as the bike picked up speed again. I had only ridden a motorcycle twice in my entire life, but I still managed to stay on. The road I raced down was dark and had tropical foliage on either side of it. There were no other houses.

 

“Shut up asshole! Just wait till I smack you off that bike.”  

 

She was right of course. She would knock me off my bike to my most certain death if I didn’t think of something fast. The problem was the road seemed to curve up ahead, which would give Certy the perfect opportunity to kill me. There didn’t even seem to be another driveway or road before then. It was too dark to tell, and I was so inexperienced with driving I had no idea if I could manage to fend her off if she caught up to me. The only thing I could think of was to go faster. If I could beat her around the curve, I could manage to find somewhere to hide till I got my bearings.

 

The sound of Shooter’s whinny echoed through the night air above the roar of my motorcycle. She was right behind me. I pressed myself even further forward as I desperately tried to outrun her. I knew it was hopeless in the long run. She had a mystical dullahan's horse and I had a regular sporty cycle.

 

“Come on I-ZA-YA, don’t you have any last words?” Certy’s voice taunted through the radio.

 

Before I could even open my mouth to make a sharp retort, a blinding yellow light that edged into my lane stole my attention. A devious smile formed on my lips. “I do Certy. Frailty thy name is woman.” I jerked into the opposite lane as a large truck drove right for Certy. The loud screech of breaks tore through the air, but I pressed forward. The truck didn’t hit her, but it gave me just enough time to get ahead. Just enough time to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter was a short one. But, I felt the need to update since it's been almost two weeks. The quote that Izaya says is from Hamlet. I just realized my timeline is a little off. I originally wanted this to take place between 1-2 season, but I keep throwing modern events in. It's a good thing time is just an illusion hence why I will be watching Noragami and eating lucky charms till three in the morning. My summer is great. 
> 
> Made sure to write some good Certy/Evil Shinra moments for Kanra_Chan & MlleCosette :D Sorry, no Erika involvement yet Sociopathicnutellaeggplant
> 
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> Comments & Kudos are appreciated!


	11. The Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I pressed myself closer to the screen and squinted. If I looked at the guy just right when the phone rang, I kind of thought he looked like...no. It couldn’t be, “Izaya?”  
> The man perked his head up some, “Shiz...Shizu-chan?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 11!
> 
> This chapter is up to usual length, and I spent way more time editing it. 
> 
> Hopefully my writing is improving as the story progresses.
> 
> Enjoy

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Well, it’s your first free weekend in America. Are you going to do anything special?” Shingen asked with a beige clipboard in his hands.

Izaya glanced at me expectantly from the brown, leather cushioned examination table he was perched on. I sighed, “Shinra and Celty want to go somewhere.”

“Do they?” His voice indicated a mild interest.

“Yes. I can’t remember what it’s called. It’s a museum.” I watched Izaya tilt his head back so Shingen could examine his eyes.

“Ah, the Field Museum. That’s a neat place. You won’t break anything there, will you?” Shingen asked while he jotted something down in pen on the clipboard with a lazy flick of his wrist. “They have a few one of a kind pieces that Nebula wouldn’t be able to replace if you decided to rampage through the building.” Shingen’s tone was light, but it still pissed me off.

“Not unless I bash you with them.” I growled. I didn’t even know what was in that museum anyway besides the fact they had a huge T-rex in the front named Sue. I didn’t even know what that name meant! Could Sue mean monstrous in English? I thought about asking Shingen, but I didn’t want to give him another reason to tease me about my intelligence.   

“Shizuo...we talked about this.” Izaya reprimanded in a soft voice. “Just try and take deep breaths. Violence is almost never the answer.”

I huffed and crossed my arms, “Whatever.” I grumbled. I knew he was right, but I couldn’t help the way my body reacted when people pissed me off, especially when they’re doing it on purpose! Some people just pissed me off  from the moment I saw them. However this Izaya, even though his actions made me uncomfortable, didn’t send me into a flying rage that would have happened with the regular fleabag. This Izaya annoyed me a lot, but in a way that reminded me of an overbearing parent or sibling. It was nice that he cared, but I was starting to feel claustrophobic after being continuously stuck with him for so long. Izaya couldn’t handle being alone, which is the total opposite of our dimensional Izaya. I never valued my alone time before he came along. It was an aggravating situation, but none of this even compared to the bigger issue of Erika, who now felt the need to text me YOI titles every five minutes for ‘researching’ purposes.

_“Shizu-Shizu, check out this one! Oh and this one, and this one…”_

These lists would just go on and on of her supposed ‘favorites.’ How could she have fifty favorite dudes doing it with each other? I even texted her that hoping she would get the hint she was starting to bother me.

 _“Ah! I’m happy to see you’re actually going to read them °˖_ _✧◝_ _(⁰_ _▿_ _⁰)_ _◜✧_ _˖° Let me explain to you my top twenty favorite pairings and then you’ll understand why I love them all SO MUCH!!!”_

My phone beeped nonstop for the past two hours. I felt the urge to crush it, which Izaya noticed, so he took my phone and began texting her back making it seem like I was somewhat interested in what she had to say. Well he had been texting until Shingen had to do this check up before we were free for the weekend.

“You should talk to her. She obviously thinks you’re friends now.” Izaya said in an encouraging tone.

“I’m not going to talk to her about…that!” I said sharply. I averted my gaze to the heart monitor that displayed the steady, green lined rise and fall of Izaya’s heartbeat.

Izaya grumbled, “People have different interests. If you want to make more friends, you’ll have to deal with people talking about things you aren’t interested in.”

“So I should just invite her to keep sending me BL stuff?” My hands gripped the chair armrests tightly. I took a deep breath to keep from crushing them between my hands.

“Well, a hundred message explanation is overkill and I would tell her to link her top ten BL couples instead of-“ Izaya scrolled through my phone with his right hand while Shingen gripped his left arm to check his blood pressure. “Fifty six, but the point still remains that she could be an amazing friend to have if you’d give her a chance.” Izaya’s eyes widened as he stared at the screen, “Actually, I’m going to start deleting some of these. They may be too…graphic for you.” His fingers moved swiftly.

I crossed my right leg over my left impatient to finish this dumb checkup. “Good, I don’t want to see them anyway.”  

“My favorite is Victuri.” Shingen announced as he glanced over at the screen. “I just finished that anime with Emilia the other day.”

“Right? Such a cute couple!” Izaya gushed. “I’ll text her that. That’s a good ship for Shizuo.”

I clenched my right hand into a fist and rested my forehead against it. I was ready to have my Izaya back. Then this would all just be some weird, twilight zone dream.

 

**Izaya**

 

I finally reached an intersection after ten minutes of riding ahead of Certy. There was a dirt road to my right, or the highway that stretched in front of me. The dirt road might lead to a house, I thought. But, could I really risk the chance when it could lead to a dead end? I debated my options as I approached.  

By the time I reached the intersection, I already made my decision. I revved the bike and continued forward. This expanse of road must lead to a town, and it’s my best chance of getting back to Ikebukuro. There were no highway signs, well none that I could see, but I had a good feeling that this road would pay off. So, I pressed forward and passed no one on the road besides for the psycho pursing me from behind. I was so far ahead of Certy, I started to feel a small sense of safety.

It was about twenty minutes before I reached any signs of human life. There was a small row of hotels along the beach that faintly glowed in the darkness once I arrived at the top of a small hill. Humanity, I relished in the luxurious sight. I cruised down the hill with ease until my headlight landed on a willowing shadow flickering in my path.

The shadow shot a black tentacle at me, so I veered to the right to dodge it. The bike vroomed forward despite my desperate breaking. I jerked the bike handle to the left, but that was a huge mistake. The back of the bike swung around and I felt myself thrown forward during the change of momentum. I was going to die in the exact way Certy wanted me to.

I covered my face with my arms and braced myself for the hard impact of the ground, but it never came. I peered through my limbs to see Shooter’s carriage underneath me. I lowered my arms with a small sigh of relief.

“You dumb horse.” Certy bellowed with her hands on her slim hips. “Bad, horsey. Don’t catch the guy we’re trying to kill.” She raised her index finger where Shooter’s head was supposed to be. “Well, I don’t care what Celty wants. What about me? I’m your owner too.” She crossed her arms with a pout.

The scene before me was almost comical: a crazy girl talking to a headless horse that defied all sense of sanity. But, it wasn’t funny because I was the person she was trying to kill. Moments after her bizzare interaction, I could feel the carriage dissipate beneath me-I gulped in fear. Instead of waiting for my barrier between Certy and I to vanish, I threw myself from the back of the carriage and landed in a crouch before taking off in the direction of the hotels.

“You’ll never outrun me you know!”

I had figured I wouldn’t be able to, but I could outsmart her. That’s something I was very apted to do. But, my body’s defense mechanism was stuck in panic mode, for I pushed me forward through the unfamiliar darkness in an erratic fear I normally controlled. I just needed to find a person-a cellphone even.

“In the night, though we’re apart. There’s a ghost of you within my haunted heart.” Certy’s sang from behind me. I heard the sound of clomping feet close in.

A full blown fervor of fright caused me to run faster than I ever had before. I had no idea how fast this monster ran, and that was truly terrifying.

“Ghost of you, my lost romance.”

I ran through the woods as Certy’s singing surrounded me in the darkness. I tried to pinpoint where she was, but the rise and fall of my chest in an increasing hysterical pace impeded my focus. How fast could she even be running if she was singing, I wondered through the mental fog as my lungs gasped for air.   

“Lips that laugh, eyes that dance-” Her sickly sweet voice continued.

I plowed forward through the exotic foliage and tree branches that swayed as I passed them. I saw a building up ahead! I know I did.

“Haunted heart won’t let me be.”

Her voice grew dimmer as I dashed west. I never should have used my only knife on her back at the beach house. Now I was unarmed. I was unarmed and alone with a psychopath singing behind me as I ran through an unknown forest towards buildings I wasn’t even sure were in this direction.

“Dreams repeat a slow and lonely song to me.”

I shortened my stride to increase my speed, but I was starting to get tired. I needed to catch my breath, but I couldn’t. If I slowed down, I would be as good as dead.  

“Dreams are dust, it’s you who must belong to me.”

The trees began to thin, and a light came into view. A large, grey building loomed less than 20 meters in front of me. I turned my gaze upwards to see a yellow light illuminating the second story window-A figure stood against a curtain that flapped in the night breeze. The silhouette paced back and forth inside their room.

“Help!” I screamed with all the strength I could muster.

The figure stopped pacing and shoved the curtain back. A blond man blazed under the light in only a black pair of boxer briefs. I knew that man.

“Hello?” Shizuo stepped onto the grey balcony.

He looked like a merciful Heracles peering down from Olympus with his golden crown of hair that gleamed under the light of his room.

“Shiz-” A hand smacked across my mouth with such force that my unsuspecting lips, slammed against my teeth, began to bleed.

Certy let out a small whistle. “He’s hot.” She said in a taunting tone. Her lips were pressed against my ear. “Do you think he’ll come down to play?”

I closed my eyes afraid to know the answer.

“Hello? Is someone in trouble?” He shouted.

“Shut up!” An unknown voice yelled.

My eyes snapped open to see my would be savior turn from the balcony and close the sliding door behind him. He picked up something from his bed again. It was probably his phone.

“Well we don’t need him to have fun, do we I-za-ya?” I marveled at her surprisingly strong grip around my waist and mouth. She clearly was above normal human strength.

I wrestled for freedom that I had been so close to achieving under her inhuman grasp. I attempted to dig my elbows into her ribs, but she unexpectedly clamped her jaws down on my shoulder. I felt pain seer through me as her teeth sunk deep into my flesh. Teeth scraped together excruciatingly as skin was torn from my body, yet Certy released her vampiric bite shortly after blood fountained from the wound. I felt the red liquid spew over my collarbone uncomfortably causing a wetness to seep through both the front and back of my shirt.

“I don’t need any weapons to hurt you Izaya-kun because I am one. I want you to remember that.” Her right arm that encased my chest shifted upwards. I watched her hand snake upwards to my now bleeding shoulder only to feel a surge of pain knock what little air I replenished from my lungs a moment later. “And I still have to pay you back for that stab in the eye.” A single nail that was most likely her thumb based on the force of the pain I felt, dug deeper into the open wound. “And for that truck that almost hit me.” Certy’s voice had a chill to it I’d never heard her use. “So, let’s get playing Izaya. You know how much I love to do that, and I think you’ll last longer than most of the people too.” Certy began to drag me backwards into the woods.

I watched Shizuo’s room light flicker off as I dug my heels into the dirt in a last stitch attempt to slow her down.

“Be still my haunted heart.” Certy’s voice rang through the still night air. “It’s a shame I don’t my portable speakers.” She sighed. “I hate killing without music to set the mood.”

I tried to grab a large tree branch, but even that was out of my reach.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Isn’t this fun!” Izaya peered at weird items from the Egyptian exhibit that reminded me of something out of a cheesy mummy horror movie. “To think about all the things the Egyptians accomplished-”

“Yep.” I rolled my eyes. It was interesting in a way, but I kept getting this horrible feeling like something was very, very wrong. “Hey Celty, do you ever get a gut feeling that something bad is about to happen?” I turned to my left.

Celty pulled out her phone and typed _Sometimes, but for being a mystical dullahan I must admit I’m lacking in the instincts department._

I sighed, “I just keep getting this feeling that something shitty is going down.”

_You’re probably just overthinking things. It could just be because you didn’t call Kasuka back._

“Maybe. I’m just not sure anymore.” I dropped the subject, but the haunting feeling persisted. For the third time since this new Izaya arrived, I was compelled to wonder if our Izaya was okay.

 

**Izaya**

 

Certy had lugged me a fair distance away from the hotel back through a section of the woods until we reached a clearing. “Now Izaya, we can do a couple different things here.” Certy released me from her monstrous grip. “You could continue to run West and jump off that cliff about fifty meters over there-” Certy pointed a slender finger in the direction of the cliff, “Or we could fight to the death, which you obviously wouldn’t win since I heal, ya know?” A tinkering giggle filled the air after she explained in English. I hadn’t fully noticed that she slipped between languages so frequently. If I lived through this, I would have to make a note of that for a future use. “You could also just let me kill you, but there’s really no fun in that. I’d prefer if we played tag.” Certy tossed me back my knife. Her silky, pink pajamas were splattered with my blood. “It’s never fun to kill anyone unarmed.”

I gripped my bloodied knife in my hand. The dry blood on the handle felt cakey against my palm.  

“Now run.” She hissed.

I backed away from her carefully. I watched her predatory expression lift to one of warmth like when we made a sandcastle only a few hours earlier.  

“This will be fun, fun, fun, fun!” She threw her head back with a laugh. “Weren’t those your words Izaya? You like having fun, don’t you?” Her tone was mocking as she plucked the single hair band from her wrist to tie her shoulder length hair back.

My chest wracked with fear, but I couldn’t let her know that. “Those are my words.” I held the knife in front of me. “And they’ll be your last.”

“Oh, confidence. I like it! Most people when they figure out they can’t kill me freak out and soil themselves.”

“I’m sure.” I stood in the middle of the small clearing with only a cliff to my right, Certy in front of me, or the heavy thicket of woods in behind me.

She snapped her fingers, “Hey, I know! How about I give you a two minute head start and if you make it back to the hotel, I’ll let you live.” She threw her pale arms up in excitement, “And we’ll call it even.”

My disbelief was obvious, “And why should I believe that?”

Certy shrugged, “It’ll make the game more fun.”

I blinked blankly unable to fully understand if this was truly a game to her, or if she even wanted to kill me. “Certy-chan, you don’t really want to kill me, do you?”

Certy’s face made a neutral expression, “Oh, I do. It’s fun killing people. You should try it.” Her lips twisted upwards into a smile again, “But, you know what I haven’t tried yet? Cannibalism! I hear people taste like pork, but I’m not really a fan of pork. I guess trying it once wouldn’t hurt.”

I darted back into the woods after I heard that. I had no doubt in my mind she wasn’t joking.

 

**Shizuo**

 

I ditched Izaya, Shinra, and Celty to head back to the hotel early. After being with someone for so long I just wanted to unwind in bed alone. Unfortunately I forgot my sunglasses back at the Nebula lab, so I had to go there first.

“Shizuo, just the person I wanted to see.” Shingen approached me in one of the many long, white hallways. “Cute ears by the way.”

I ripped the hat off my head. “Don’t even ask.”

He ignored my threat,“I thought you were going to the Field museum?” Shingen tapped his fingers against the new, black clipboard he held under his right arm.

“We did. Then we went to the zoo.” I grumbled. “Izaya thought it would be cute if I had bunny ears.” I grimaced at the remembrance of the pictures he took of us. He probably sent one to Erika already.

“Well that is pretty cute.” Shingen shrugged nonchalantly.

“So what do you even want?” I rolled my eyes. All I wanted to do was run up to my room and sleep.

“Well here’s the thing...follow me.” Shingen opened a door with a key pass to his right. There were three more sets of doors to go through proceeded by a large lab. “My fellow colleague, the one that’s been studying Izaya, Dr. Freidrickson, has been working with numerous engineers to build a dimensional portal. Of course he hasn’t had any luck yet-”

“Okay.” I blinked. “I don’t see what I’m supposed to do about it.”

Shingen chuckled nervously, “Well we don’t need you to try and fix the machine, but he would like a helping hand lifting very heavy objects.”

I growled in annoyance, “Fine.” I figured it had to be something like that. I did a quick once over the enormous lab that was twice as large as the one Shingen normally had Izaya in. The color scheme was still the same silver and white, but this lab had parts scattered everywhere plus alien looking machines. Celty would be horrified if she saw them.

“Dr. Freidrickson!” Shingen shouted into the empty lab.

A crash followed by, “Just a moment,” echoed through the huge lab.  

“He’s a bit of a klutz.” Shingen warned. “Just a little crazy too.”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t know anything about being crazy.” I muttered under my breath.

“Of course not, I’m not a theoretical physicist.” Shingen raised his brows and gave me a wide smile like he expected me to laugh.

I blinked again in response.

“No one ever appreciates my sense of humor.” He sighed defeated.

Just then a short, fat man wandered out a side room that had no physical door or windows. He had a friendly round face with grey hair. “So this is that specimen that won’t consent to study!” He looked me up and down. “He doesn’t look very strong.”

“Trust me, he’s probably one of the strongest beings on this planet.” Shingen patted my upper arm affectionately. “I’m hoping he’ll change his mind after this Izaya fiasco when he experiences the wonders of the scientific community first hand.”

I kept my mouth shut unwilling to make a bad first impression. I really wanted to punch him.

“Ah, yes. The scientific community can be a cruel mistress. Long hours with unknown payoffs, you miss your son’s college graduation that he never lets you forget, and before you know it, you’re referred to as the crazy grandpa with five grandchildren who only see you on Christmas.”

“Um…” I shifted my weight uncomfortably. I glanced down at Shingen for guidance.

“Well Shizuo would love to help you with your machine. He’s strong enough you don’t even have to wait till Monday to have it finished!” Shingen turned on his heels. “Have fun!” He bolted out of the lab.

Great, now I’m stuck with another crazed scientist. “So, what do you need me to do?” I asked in English.

“Well let me show you around my lab first. I don’t get visitors often.” He said zealously. “Let’s start with my failures, after all it’s like Thomas Edison said 'I haven't fail, I found a thousand ways not to make a light bulb.' Well the quote goes something like that. The man was a pompous ass in my opinion.” Dr. Freidrickson scratched his head. “You know he didn’t really invent the lightbulb. That’s a myth perpetuated by the American school system. He merely the first create a stable light bulb for commercial use.”

My eyes glazed over in boredom. I could tell he was just going to keep going whether I commented or not.

“I believe Tesla was the better scientist overall, but the man just never receives the credit he’s due. There’s so many conspiracies around his research and life that I’ll explain to you later.” He waved his hand and waddled over to a far section of the lab. “Anyway, these are my failed light bulb experiments so to speak. Of course, there’s only seventy eight of my failures, not including my marriage.” He mirrored the same expression as Shingen had moments earlier like he expected me to laugh.

I didn’t.  

“Why don’t I give you an overview of each one so you get a better understanding of my research.”   

I felt my hands shake, “Sure. Sounds great.” I was going to kill Shingen when all of this was over.

 

**Izaya**

My feet pounded against the forest floor. I tried to retrace the way Certy had lugged me through the forest, but all of the foliage was blurring together. I slowed my jog fully lost now.

“I-ZA-YA, SHI-ZA-YA, FLEA-ZA-YA.” Certy sang her childish rhyme from the tree in front of me. I could make out her silhouette in the early morning light since she was perched on a branch a couple meters up from the base. The sun was peeked over the tree and transformed the sky in rainbow of gold, pink, and blue tones.

I had been running for hours. My body barely registered the source of fear in front of me that had caused me to run to the point of exhaustion. I sank against the nearest tree to my left in defeat. “Just do it.” I groaned. “Just prove what a monster you truly are.” I had always thought Shizuo would have been the one to kill me. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be in more ways than one.

“Aw, don’t give up now!” She jumped to a lower branch. “The hotel could just be that way-“ She pointed to her left, “Or that way, or maybe even that way!” She twisted her arms to point in differing directions.

I shut my eyes and turned my head back and forth. “I…” Can’t? Won’t? “I am unable to.” The bottom of my feet were bleeding. I could tell from how they stuck to my blistered skin after my final poor excuse of a run.

Certy sunk to an even lower branch. She arched her back over it to hang upside down. “Well that’s awfully lame.” She swung her legs upwards. “Now, I’m not even sure I’m interested anymore. You didn’t even scream when I bit you.” She kicked her legs freely into the air. “Plus it’s just no fun without music.”

“Are you saying after running for hours, you’re no longer interested in killing me?” I said stupefied.

Certy shrugged upside down as she hung by her legs. “I guess so.”

A mixture of anger and relief caused me to burst out laughing. I fell to the ground as my maniacal laugher filled the forest.

“I didn’t think it’s that funny.” Certy dropped down from the tree.

“No-“ Tears streamed down my face, “Just horribly irritating Certy-chan.”

She plopped down beside me, “Eh, I could still kill you if you wanted to. I suppose it does seem like a waste to run around for four hours for nothing, but now all I really want is a juice box.”

My eyes went glassy with exhaustion. “Then why don’t we go back to that hotel and ask for some.”

Certy’s stomach growled loudly, “I bet they have fancy cereal too! Maybe they have Lucky Charms.” Certy jumped up and shrugged me over her shoulder with ease.

“I highly doubt it.” My head lobbed to the side as I abandoned the will to hold it up.

Just then Certy’s phone rang from Shooter who lazed under a tree in horse form. “Hey Shooter, phone please.” She whistled. Shooter whinnied and shifted back into a bike. She carried me over to the bike and reached into the pouch under the seat then pulled out her pink iphone. The caller read Shinra surrounded by hearts.

My hopes for escape were dashed once again.

Certy’s thumb pressed the green icon, “Good morning.” She answered in an overly agreeable tone. “Yeah, he’s fine. We just played tag for a couple hours.”

Undisguisable flow of words happened next.

“We’re friends now. We’re going to get juice and eat Lucky Charms.” She shoved her arm securely under my armpit in order to keep me from falling on my face. “Or Doughnuts! Yes, he can walk just fine.” She rolled her eyes. “No, I’m not lying.”

More muffled words.

“Well did you ever think that Celty was the one lying?” Certy paused and bit her lower lip, “Okay, so maybe he can’t…exactly walk right.”

“Certy, let’s just go to the hotel.” I batted my lashes at her. “We don’t want to miss the breakfast.”

Certy nodded wholeheartedly at my words, but her phone was still pressed against her ear. “But, Izaya and I want to go.”

Before I could blink a shadowed bubble surrounded us.

“Celty, you never have any fun.” She whinned. “Can we at least stop for doughnuts?”

I closed my eyes and rested my head in the crook of Certy’s neck too tired to protest. Then everything faded into black.

* * *

 

My eyes opened drowsily after I felt something prick my skin.

“Sh, don't worry Izaya. You’ll feel better soon.” Shinra’s face was blurry.

“Sh..inra?” Mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

“You’re dehydrated. This will help, so just go back to sleep.”

Something was tied over my eyes and sleep overtook me once more, but I knew that I was still in danger. The thought faded though because my body deemed sleep more important than getting me to safety.

 

**Shizuo**

 

I lifted a rod and extended it to him, “So, will this be able to form a gateway into another dimension?” I asked the obvious question since I had nothing else to talk about.

“Hopefully, but I believe that the mirror option will work first. It will allow us to peer into other dimensions like a one way mirror! Truly exciting if I can get it to work.” Dr. Freidrickson scratched his balding head. “Hang on, I must have forgotten something.” He snatched his key card off the far lab table and headed through the door that Shingen and I had entered through. “I’ll only be gone a moment.”

I lazed my side against the huge, intricate machine. It’s shiny metal exterior glimmered under the lab light. “I wonder how much you cost to build.”

Of course no one answered since the lab was empty besides me. I turned my gaze to the black screen that hedged itself on the left side of the alien looking machine. “Peer through other dimensions. What a load of crap.” I poked the screen with my index finger.

The screen flickered white and then green. I jumped back worried I’d broken it.  “Dr. Freidrickson!” I called unable to tear my eyes away. The now green screen blazed a weird series of numbers before it changed back to black.

Suddenly a small glow emulated on the screen. It was hardly noticeable at first. Then it glowed again, but this time I could make out a room under the light that was about the size of a smartphone. Out of the faint glow, I spied a person sitting in the middle of a room. The body was appeared to be slumped against something-probably a chair. Then the room went black.

Another glow returned moments later, but I could actually make out the figure as a man...at least the person had short, shaggy hair. I pressed myself closer to the screen and squinted. If I looked at the guy just right when the phone rang, I kind of thought he looked like...no. It couldn’t be, “Izaya?”

The man perked his head up some, “Shiz...Shizu-chan?”

I pressed my fingers against the glass, “Izaya!” My heart raced.

Izaya fully righted his head followed by turning it right and left. “Shizu-chan?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Izaya sighed in annoyance, “Where are you? Save me already.” Izaya kept searching the room, but didn’t look behind him.

Familiar fury built inside me, “What did you do now you shitty louse? Make some children cry? Kill the Prime Minister?”

“Shizu...Shizuo?” His voice sounded hesitant. “So, I am hallucinating.” Izaya let out a dry laugh. “I knew it was too good to be true.” He dropped his head and slumped against the weird white chair that I could finally see under the constant light of the phone that kept ringing.

“No, you’re not hallucinating. It’s me. There’s a machine-” I bit my tongue. How could I explain this without sounding completely stupid? “It’s letting me see you right now from our dimension.”

“Now I know you’re just an hallucination.” Izaya coughed. His body shivered. “So how is our dimension, imaginary Shizuo? Who have you filled my shoes with for beating out your hatred? I’m curious, and as your previous arch nemesis, I think I deserve to know.”

Shitty louse never changed. “Nobody asshole. I haven’t destroyed anything in a couple of days.” I felt my hands shake. “But I’m considering it now that I know that you’re alive.” The words tumbled from my lips before I could even stop them.

Izaya smiled, but his white teeth were colored dark-maybe with blood? “How disappointing. I’m happy to know I still hold such a wonderful place in your heart though.”

“Tch, you wish you stupid fleabag.” I brushed my bangs back. “So, did you solve that murder case yet? The other Izaya was really worried about it.”

“You know imaginary Shizu-chan, I’d really like to talk about something else.” Izaya shifted in the chair.

“Come on flea, just one sentence about it.” I plead. At least then I’d be able to tell Izaya 2.0 his case wasn’t fucked.

“Fine, it’s connected to Shinra. That’s all I want to discuss at the moment.”

“You’re shitting me. If you aren’t going to take this seriously, I’ll leave.” I rolled my eyes annoyed. This stupid shitbag playing games like always. I don’t know why I would have ever thought things could be different.

“You can’t really leave imaginary Shizu-chan, and furthermore I just don’t want to talk about him right now.” Izaya’s voice sounded shaky like he was afraid. “ But, there is something I’d like to confess since I may never be able to tell the real Shizuo. Do you remember those times I’d annoy you in the library back at Raijin?”

I frowned, “Yeah I guess. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Do you remember that love note you found in your favorite Sherlock Holmes novel?” Izaya’s voice was barely above a whisper. The phone had stopped ringing, so he sat alone in the dark.

“Yes, someone stuck it in there knowing I’d find it. Don’t tell me it was you?”

Izaya was silent for the first time since the conversation started.  

“I guess that’s not really a surprise to me. I always figured it was you.” I rested my head at the top of the screen. “So, can you see me?”

Izaya laughed, “Why would I look for something that’s a figment of my imagination? I may be having a mental breakdown, but I’m not crazy.”

“How many times do I have to tell you! I’m real! This is YOUR Shizuo talking to you through an interdimensional thing!” I grabbed both sides of the monitor and shook it between my fists like I was wringing Izaya’s neck.

Izaya giggled, “My Shizuo. How kinky.” The phone screen lit up again just in time for me to see Izaya lick his bottom lip. “Do you always think of yourself as mine, Imaginary Shizu-chan? I know we have a long history together and a couple of beast training sessions back our freshman year, but who knew they would impact you so long?”

My face burned with embarrassment at the thought of all those mornings and lunch breaks I would chase him around while he whistled at me like a dog. One time he even replaced my whole lunch with dog treats. “Fuck off.” I clenched my right hand over my left in a desperate attempt to not break the machine. It looked really expensive.

“You do, don’t you?” He whispered in a husky voice that sent chills down my spine. “If only the real Shizuo thought the same.” Izaya leaned back and spread his jeaned legs wide. His arms remained behind his back.

My eyes zeroed in on his crotch to my dismay. I felt the tips of my ears burn. “In your dreams fleabag. If anyone would bottom, it’s you.”

“Imaginary Shizu-chan is so forward. I never mentioned anything about sex.” Izaya laughed, “I suppose it would be though. I wouldn’t mind it though. As long as I got to feel-” The creak of a door cut him off. A yellow light filled the room.

“Izaya, you’re awake.” Shinra appeared on the screen when he flipped on a light then proceeded to bound down the basement steps that I could now clearly see. It was really more of a small lab or doctor’s office than a basement. “I’m glad you’re okay. Let’s get you upstairs and into bed.”

Under the lighting, I now saw that Izaya’s eyes were covered with a pink scarf and his mouth was bloody. Dried blood sat on the arch of his upper lip, just under his nose, and he had a bloody heart on the right side of his cheek. An IV drip was set into his right arm similar to the one Shingen used on me a couple days ago.

Shinra moved behind Izaya then paused. His dark eyes met mine, but instead of being happy to see me, they narrowed. “You endangered your health Izaya, I just can’t have you doing that again.” Shinra moved around him and stepped in front of the screen. He flashed a serial killer-esque smile, and then the screen went dark.

I tapped the screen, “Izaya? Shinra?” I called, but the screen remained dark. Well he can’t be in that much danger if he’s with Shinra, I reasoned. At least he has someone taking care of him, but it was weird that he would be tied up in a basement. Alone. “Shinra can handle it.”

But, the scene didn’t make any sense. If Izaya was a danger to himself, why would he be tied up alone? I thought back to everything the other Izaya told me. He mentioned Shinra once or twice. He brought up the fact he was crazy, but so was our Shinra. I guess I never really took him seriously.

My eyes widened at the horrible realization as Dr.Friedrickson reentered the room. That Shinra was actually insane-the literal kind. “Dr. Friedrickson, do you know if I we can get that portal running soon? I think my friend is in trouble.”

 

**Izaya**

 

“You were hallucinating just now Izaya.” Shinra clucked his tongue. He traced his fingertips along my jaw. “Let’s get you into bed.  

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, “I know.” Something wet wiped the side of my face.

“I’ll just clean off the blood first.” Shinra rubbed my skin followed by a sigh. “I don’t know why she covered your eyes.”

A moment later I could see after my eyes adjusted. “Someone was calling...I heard buzzing.” My eyes refused to stay open for very long. My lids sank back down every time I forced them upwards.  

“That’s not important right now. I warned them I would be out of town.” Shinra shouldered my weight in a manner similar to the one Certy had carried me in.

“Who did you warn?” My voice drawled.

“Just some clients.” He answered stiffly.

“What do you think they needs? An emergency face transplant?” My bumped against his as he carried most of my weight up the small flight of stairs.

I could feel Shinra’s face stretch into a smile against my cheek, “You’ll figure it out soon.” Was the last thing he said before I slipped into a turbulent sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erika's Ships~  
> 1\. Shizuo x Izaya (of course)  
> 2\. Victor x Yuri  
> 3\. Levi x Eren  
> 4\. Toaster x Egg (OPM)  
> 5\. Sebastian x Ciel  
> 6\. Germany x Italy  
> 7\. Makoto x Haru  
> 8\. Mika x Yuu  
> 9\. Kaneki x Hide  
> 10\. Bertholdt x Reiner  
> 11\. L x Light  
> 12\. Yurio x Otabek  
> 13\. Kageyama x Hinata
> 
> ~Give me your Erika ships below~
> 
> Also the song Certy was singing is called Haunted Heart by Jo Stafford
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	12. The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A delighted grin unrolled, “I can’t really say for sure.” Shinra reached behind my head wrapping his fingers in my hair, “But, I can say that I’m happy you’re safe with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments last chapter! <3

**Izaya**

 

_“Izaya writing a love letter!” Shinra exclaimed peering over my shoulder before he sat down on the bench beside me. “I never thought I’d see the day.” He paused at the crash of Shizuo flinging an unfortunate soul into the school fence. “You know it’s sort of ironic that you’re writing a love letter while poor Shizuo is on a rampage down there.” He snickered, his dark sense of humor slipping through his mask that he worked so hard to maintain around others for the sake of Celty.  Shinra then bumped his forehead against mine mixing his dark brunet bangs with my raven tresses to focus on the girly stationery paper between us. The thin paper was pink surrounded by an atrociously feminine rose border._

_“Normally I would say it’s none of your business, but I’ll indulge you just this once. I’d like your opinion on this poem.” I felt the apples of my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I pointed out the lines I wanted him to look over. I already mentally prepared myself to defend my medium of communication and my poem due to the sheer unlikeliness that I would be the one confessing feelings of love, especially on paper. I really hadn’t put a lot of effort into writing the poem due to the fact Shizuo was bound to be so dumbfounded at recieving any sort of love or affection at all._

_“So, she’s blonde?” Shinra’s asked followed by an annoying wiggle of his brow. “You got the hots for that foreign exchange student?”_

_I said nothing. I watched his eyes flicker back down to the paper once more._

_“Well in my opinion, it’s a little sappy.” Shinra’s index finger ran along the ink indented lines. “And it honestly doesn’t sound like anything you’d say at all.” He never mentioned the paper itself. He never entertained the possibility it was for a guy-not that I wanted him to._

_“Maybe that’s what I want.” I snatched the paper in a wave of sudden self consciousness._

_“Why? You don’t want her to realize it’s you and run away screaming?” Shinra chuckled shifting himself to face the field where a wrathful Shizuo rained destruction upon a gang of horribly mistaken miscreants who had tried attacking him._

_I wanted to say ‘Isn’t he glorious? He’s like a japanese version of Thor defending his fellow gods’ But, every word died on my tongue when hate filled, honey eyes met mine._

_“You!” Shizuo picked up the metal pole he had been swinging once more, “You did this!”_

_I folded the note, and passed it to Shinra with the words “Put it in my locker” seconds before  the pole smashed into the exact spot I had been sitting._

_“IZZAAYAAAA!”_

 

The white walls are what I noticed first. The navy sheets second. I turned from my right side onto my back to gaze at the wooden ceiling till I swore I saw the darker patches in the wood begin to dance.

“Whoa, you don’t look so good.” Certy’s tinkering voice sounded very far away, but when I rolled my head left, I saw her face precariously close to mine.  

“Can you hear me?” She poked my cheek.

I gave her a small nod before my eyelids shut on their own accord.

 

_I slipped out of class early to enact my plan. I crept towards the beast’s locker with the note clenched in my right fist. The closer I became, the stupider I felt. He wouldn’t even know I was the one who wrote him this, which is what I thought I wanted._

_My feet moved me on their own accord in front of his locker on the first floor. I stared at the silver metal glimmering in the sparse afternoon rays that still managed to shine through the side window that encompassed most of the west wall. His locker looked like all the others. There was nothing special about it, yet it ridiculed me with its existence._

_“I can do this.” I took a deep breath and raised my hand completely focused on his locker combination, but I froze._

_What if he hates it? What if he just crushes it between his monster fists? Doubt plagued my mind while my extended hand hovered limply in front of the knob. It was such a simple action. Something that would only take two seconds to complete. Yet, I stood there petrified over the fact Shizuo might tear the letter to shreds-my heart to shreds. “What does it matter?” I dropped my hand as the final bell rang. “He already hates me.” I stood there while other students passed me, and refused to move until a trash can nearly bashed me against the lockers._

 

**Shizuo**

 

“What do you mean it will take two years to complete!” I smashed the metal desk under my fists. “We need it now!” Anger boiled under my skin motivating me to break more expensive equipment.

“Shizuo, this is an extremely delicate process that requires a lot of time and money. I’m not a miracle worker.” Dr. Freidrickson rubbed his wrinkled forehead. “You on the other hand...” He played with the screen once more, “I just fail to understand how you got my machine working! It isn’t even charged.” Freidrickson started to pace around the lab. “If the monitor wasn’t warm, I wouldn’t believe you.” He looked at me, “And if the security cameras didn’t pick it up either. You’re lucky you’re so thin.”

I wanted to crush this whole lab under my fists, “So, there’s nothing we can do?” I had picked up the broken top of the metal desk, which groaned in protest under strain I forced upon it, but I didn’t care. What did this lab matter-what did anything matter if I couldn’t help him?

“Wait!” Shingen suddenly burst through the lab door. “Don’t-don’t touch anything Shizuo.” He bent over panting. His crisp, white lab coat drooped from his shoulders.

“You! This is all your fault!” I shouted and my body already lifted another desk over my head. A variety of equipment crashed to the floor loudly as I lurched forward.

“You don’t understand!” Shingen waved his arms, “I think I discovered how the incident happened that could give us insight on how to build our dimensional portal much sooner than the predicted completion date.”

“How so? Most of the materials I require need to be customized and I’m still having trouble choosing a stable power source.”  

“Let me just speak my piece first before we go into details. I’ll explain it as simply as possible so Shizuo doesn’t crush me out of frustration.” Shingen straightened himself with a deep breath.  
“What if it’s not a one way mirror Freidrickson-I mean a one way mirror that got caught up in another dimensional mirror’s interference, hence my reasoning it is no longer a one way mirror.” Shingen walked over to the machine then leaned against it to catch his breath.

Dr. Freidrickson scratched his chin thoughtfully, “That would explain why Shizuo told me the mirror went black after Shinra 2.0 touched it.” He joined Shingen by the alien looking device. “We tried getting it to work again, but so far nothing has happened.”

“A forced experiment never boils, you know.”

“I don’t think that’s a common saying Shingen. It is a shame I wasn’t here to witness that greatest scientific breakthrough of our generation.”  

“That sounds oddly similar to your marriage.” They locked eyes and laughed.

“Could we just focus on getting the machine to work!” I interrupted their crazy, scientist banter that I failed to follow.   

“Yes, I suppose we should work on saving your boyfriend-”

I twisted the metal into a ball, “He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Yes, yes whatever you say Shizuo.” Shingen waved me away. “Let’s get to work. I got some excellent advice about stabilizing the power source from a fellow scientist at a bar last night. It was almost like he had already built his own with how intimately he knew about the problems Freidrickson was encountering.” Shingen strode across the lab to the three flipped over tables. “Shizuo, I’m going to need you to pick these up. We’re going to need all the table space possible.”

“Fine.” I huffed. “And he isn’t my boyfriend. I hate him.”

 

**Izaya**

 

_I gripped the note I had been carrying in my bag for nearly a week with newfound confidence. I peeked at Shizuo from behind the bookcase as he sat in the far right corner at the back of the library with his favorite Holmes novel pressed up to his nose. The early afternoon sunlight streamed onto his golden hair as his eyes flickered between the words._

_I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and read along with him. I wanted to cuddle in a loving embrace like how all the other shameless, straight students did during their lunch breaks in the isolated parts of the library. I could picture Shizuo reading- myself reading him the sweet sonnets of Shakespeare with our fingers romantically intertwined._

_Enough, I chided myself. I could do this. I’d just wait for him to put the book back like he always did because he didn’t trust himself to check it out, a behavior that I added to my notes for later teasing, then I  would slip the note in and he’d read it tomorrow. Perfect, I told myself. I could leave him little clues and he’ll figure out it was me. He’d like that method._

_“What are you doing Izaya-kun?”_

_Hands grabbed me from behind. They wrapped around my adolescent frame with ease that could only be from one person, “Shizu-chan-”_

_His hand capped over my mouth, “I saw you watching me from behind the bookcase.” Fingers moved under my uniform. “You wanted me to notice you, right Izaya-kun?” A single hand slid under my black pants._

_I whimpered pathetically as the hand lifted the band of my briefs._

_“I bet you get off on this. Who knew the flea was a closet pervert?” Shizuo’s hand wrapped around my now throbbing member with a light squeeze that sent a shockwave of pleasure through me. “So pitiful.” His lips pressed against my ear, “But, I’ll have mercy on you since you’re so desperate for a monster’s touch. Do you think you can keep quiet Izaya-kun?” His palm slowly jerked forward and back. “I don’t want to have to gag you just yet.”_

_Humiliated at the sensation of precum soaking through the front of my uniform, yet I couldn’t stop moaning at the simplest form of sex._

It’s a lie

_Dreams of Shizuo’s hands over my body-_

That didn’t happen

_Thrusting again and again while his teeth nibbled the sensitive curve of my earlobe-_

Will never happen

_His hot breath bathed my ear, “I love you. I love you like this-”_

That’s a lie.

_“I always loved you.”_

A ridiculous fantasy

 

“I-ZA-YA!”

Pressure around my hips brought me to a half awaken state.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up.” A whistle and tapping against my cheek forced me to open my eyes.

“Go away.” I closed my eyes again.

Certy let her full weight rest on me. “But, you’ve been sleeping for the past ten hours!” She whinned. “You’ll sleep the whole vacation away.” She laid on my chest causing my shirt to shift upwards, “Plus you’ll never be able to take care of that boner asleep.” Her wicked grin mocked me.

“Good.” I yawned. “And my erection is none of your concern Certy-chan.”  

Her fingers slithered under my shirt, “Oh, come on. Fucking me beats masturbating alone.” Her angelic voice taunted. Her slender fingers drifted lower to trace along my exposed hip bone in the very way I dreamed Shizuo would.

It was an enticing offer that I half considered in my drowsy state, but I would never reach that level of disparity. “That will never happen. You don’t have anything I’m interested in.” I gave her a harsh shove off my pelvis.

Certy’s doll like face contorted into a deep frown as she landed on the wooden floor with a thud. “Fine.” She said hotly. “I can just do Shinra again.” She flipped her tawny hair with a wave of her hand.

My erection was instantly alleviated, “How disgusting. You want to sleep with both of us in the same day?” I propped myself up on my elbows for better observation.

“I sleep with who I want, when I want.” She raised her nose in the air, “A girl has needs and sleeping around is totally normal in other countries. It doesn’t mean I love Shinra any less.”

“No, just some random guy’s dick more.” I smiled sweetly.

Anger burned behind those grey eyes, “Izaya, I’m going to help you out, but I won’t if you keep pissing me off.”

“Help me escape?” My eyes narrowed. “Why on Earth would you do that?” I backed against the large, navy pillow behind me unsure of where this was heading.   

She lolled her head to the side, “Because, there’s a place I want to go to and I can’t go alone. That’s weird.” She twiddled her index fingers around one another before turning her nervous gaze on me that was so different from moments ago.  

“What place?”

“I’m so glad you asked!” Certy reached into beige shorts and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper. “Ta dah!”

I squinted my eyes at all the different languages on the brightly lime green and pink poster. “You want to go to drag night at the local strip club?” I rolled my eyes. “No thanks. I don’t think Shinra would approve of your outing. You can smuggle me out another way.”  

She frowned, “But, I have it all set up. You have to go!” She stomped her right foot like an angry child.

Now that she was standing, I got a good look at her. She wore an off the shoulder white top that bared her midriff with high waisted khaki shorts. She had a paling, plum bruise that stretched across her entire right shoulder.

“Did Shinra do that?” I eyed the discoloration wearily; it appeared to spread under her shirt.

Certy glanced at her shoulder, “Oh, that? Yeah, but it was all in good fun.” She shrugged.

I snorted, “Ah, the sheer delight in being a masochist.”

“Mas-a what?” She blinked.

“You enjoy pain.” I sighed exasperated.

“Oh, I guess so.” She nodded. “It’s just so much fun when we-”  

I held my right hand up, “I don’t need to know any details.”   

She pouted, “But then you’ll never know how he likes it.”

I gagged at the disgusting image of this Shinra naked, “I never need to know that.”  

“I guess so. I wouldn’t like sharing him with you anyway even if we are friends. It’s annoying enough with Celty at times.”

I made a mental note to use that later, “I could see that.” I responded cryptically. “So, when are we leaving?”

“I’ll let you know, but we have to wait for Shinra and Celty to leave first.” She spun dramatically before she skipped towards the door. “Oh, and you might want to check the ‘bukuro news.”

I weighed the validity of her clue while she bound through the door. I didn’t want to risk exiting the room where Shinra would undoubtable find me. I was incredibly apprehensive of him from our last encounter and could still feel his creepy smile scorched against my cheek. Evil Shinra, as I have now fondly dubbed him, was a force to be reckoned with. But, I had no idea how extensive his power truly was from what little information I had to go on: an underground doctor with a deceased mad scientist father, new gang leader, hitman orchestrator for the Yakuza using Certy and presumably Celty as well, murderer, and stalker. None of this meant he had well formed ties with the Yakuza, nor did it mean he used his monsters as his only form of leverage over others. In fact, it merely told me he dabbled in a variety of illegal activities that I would have to bring to light when I prosecuted him for the murder of the diplomat’s son and the Riara teacher’s daughter.

I would deal with collecting evidence after I saw the news. I slipped from that small bedroom to hear the news broadcaster booming from the living room down the hall. I shuffled barefoot against the wooden floor that creaked quietly under my weight and stopped at the end of the hallway that led into the kitchen with the living room neatly placed in front of it. I peeked around the corner straining my eyes to read the the blue bricked scrawl on the large television in front of the white wicker furniture. It was burdensome to make out, but it looked like…

“The slasher attacked thirty individuals including known members of the Russian mafia and the police force.”

I reeled around almost slamming my left side into the wall. I gaped at a lab coated Shinra wearing ivory latex gloves.

“You can leave your room. You’re welcome anywhere on the property as long as you don’t intend to harm yourself again.” His gloved hand latched onto my cheek, “There’s no reason to be afraid. I’d never hurt you.” His glasses reflected the overhead light so I couldn’t see his pupils.

“I’d hardly consider my escape plan harmful to myself. Certy seemed to do that if my memory serves correctly.” My mind raced as I felt his latex covered thumb rub my cheek, “Ignoring that discrepancy, why don’t we talk about the real reason you brought me here? You kidnapped me from Ikebukuro because you knew when the slasher would attack. You knew the police force was in danger.”

A delighted grin unrolled, “I can’t really say for sure.” Shinra reached behind my head wrapping his fingers in my hair, “But, I can say that I’m happy you’re safe with me.”

I scowled feeling just the opposite, “You’re letting the Saika wielder on your territory because you want the slasher to take over the police force to prevent your arrest. How clever.”  

He pulled my hair forcing my chin to jut upwards, “Took you long enough.” He twisted my head left and right, “Although you’re still missing the big picture. Oh well, I’m sure you’ll have all the time in the world to figure it out once your biggest distraction is gone.” Shinra dropped his hand before he headed back down the hall.

“And just what do you mean by that?”

Shinra spoke the familiar sentence I’ve been hearing a lot since arriving here, “Figure it out detective.” He disappeared behind the last door on the right at the opposite end of the hallway.

After he left, I noticed that only Certy lounged on the wicker couch, and Celty was nowhere to be found.  

 

 **Shizuo**  

 

 _We’ll get it running Shizuo. I’m sure Izaya is fine._ Celty comforted me on the roof top.

I exhaled my third cigarette, “I doubt it. He was tied up alone in a basement with a mad scientist-not that I care...about him I mean. I only want Izaya 2.0 to get his job back in his own dimension without that fucking fleabag messing everything up.”

Celty scratched her helmet, _Okay._

“I don’t care about what he’s doing, that’s for sure.”

_….Alright…._

“So what if he’s been working with the other Shizuo? It’s not like they’re sleeping together, or that I care besides the fact he could be a homewrecking bastard.” I clamped my hands onto the roof’s high waisted wall that I assumed kept people from jumping. “If he wants to be a cheating asshole, he can limp for the rest of his life! I’ll break that shitty flea’s legs! Just wait till I get my hands on him.” The stones crunched in my fists.

Celty tapped my shoulder directing me to her phone, _You’re not making a whole lot of sense right now._

“Sorry, sorry. Just got carried away.” I released the newly made dust from my hands. “I’m gonna go take a nap. Maybe that will help.”

 

**Izaya**

 

Certy whisked me down the basement steps an hour later, but lead me into a new section of the basement behind a very narrow door. I couldn’t make out anything in the inky blackness, but felt something soft under my feet. I heard a tap followed by the faint buzz of lights turning on. I blinked adjusting to the sudden brightness as horrible pops of color assaulted my pupils. This room was lined with fuzzy neon pink carpet, and had an extremely large, pink vanity that looked like the kind from a movie set or a runway.

There was a pink zebra stripe leather chair near the mirror. “Sit!” She exclaimed as she dragged me further into the small room that was about the size of the guest bedroom upstairs. She grabbed both shoulders and shoved me into the chair. “So, we can’t bare your shoulders since I messed up on that one, but it’s okay. I have the perfect outfit in mind!” She twirled around and rummaged through the extensive amount of clothes hanging behind me. She pulled out a velvet black one piece leotard, but with sleeves and legs attached that were a sheer, meshy silver.

“No. I am not wearing that.”

“But, don’t you see? It’s perfect!” Certy exclaimed. “No one will recognize you or be able to see your wound since it’s got this turtle neck thing going on, and I promise Shizuo will safely pick you up when we’re done.” Certy spun like a drunk ballerina towards the vanity pulling out two large organizers from underneath. They were were also pink. The snap of each latch opening filled the small room. Both organizers were stuffed with brushes and makeup. “I’m thinking we should give you a weave.”

“No.”

“A wig?”

“Fine.”

She clapped her hands together, “I’m so excited! Shinra never lets me put makeup on him.” She whirled me around in the chair, “Tonight is going to be so much fun! You’ll look amazing. You’ll be the best drag queen that ever graced the stage. And look-” Certy dug under the vanity again. “You can even wear my favorite corset from my old Halloween costume! Oh, and my hooker heels.” She thumbed the back of two strappy, too tall heels that looked like a living nightmare.

I bit my tongue and glared at the back of her reflection in the mirror.

“Let me just put on my music-” Certy fumbled with her pink phone, “So we can get this makeover started.” American pop music blared from bluetooth speakers that were somewhere in the room.

I took a deep breath. It was just one night. I could do this.  

 

**Shizuo**

 

It was about three in the morning when I woke up from a restless sleep. I buried my face into the crisp, white pillow. It was hopeless to stay here, but I didn’t trust myself enough to wander through the streets of Chicago so early in the morning. I’d run into people with guns and get shot, which means I would punch a bunch of assholes across town. On second thought, maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Walking beat moping around in bed being consumed by thoughts of Izaya, I decided. Shitty louse.

I tossed the bedspread aside and picked up my crumpled jeans from the floor by my plain, white t-shirt. I already decided where I was going by the time I reached for my shoes, and I’m sure Dr. Freidrickson would there soon anyway.

 

**Izaya**

 

Two grueling hours I sat like her living doll while I had makeup of every variety plastered on myself, my brows waxed and arched, a straight black wig attached securely to my head,  and nearly everything shaved from my legs to my face. Of course, I didn’t let her shave me even though she was oddly willing. Certy being around sharp objects distressed me since she tends to enjoy killing people in creative ways.

Once everything was completed, I came to a few conclusions: I looked damn good as a woman, Certy was excellent at winged liner, heels sucked, and thongs were oddly freeing.

“Are you going to be able to walk in those heels?” Certy asked as she reached into the rack of clothes to choose her own outfit.

My patience already waned at the thought of another two hours wasted with her getting ready, “As graceful as a newborn giraffe.”

Certy picked out a shimmery, black dress that I swore was smaller than one of my pillow cases. “Good, and I should be ready in a couple of minutes because unlike you I’m already a masterpiece.” She stuck her tongue out teasingly.

I snorted, “In your dreams. You’re lucky I’m not a real woman.” I flicked a long lock of fake hair off my shoulder. “I’d steal every man in sight.” I averted my gaze while she boldly threw off her clothes to pull on the tiny dress.

“Oh, please. You can’t even get your blond hercules not crush you with a vending machine. Like you’d ever be able to steal a man interested in me.”

“This wouldn’t include Shinra then, ne?”

Certy’s grey eyes thinned into angry slits as she bent in front of the mirror, “Enjoy that while it lasts.” She picked up one of the slender brushes and began to dag eyeshadow on in a circular motion.

“Are you implying he’d get sick of me? He seems pretty adamant about his love for me.” I crossed my arms over my fake boobs already uncomfortable at where this conversation was headed.

Certy poured foundation over her hand and blotted it on her face with an egg shaped sponge, “All I’m saying is that you should remember there’s two of you. Do you really think he cares which one he get?”

I had questioned that terrifying realization quite a bit.“But, I’m sure I’m much more charming than this dimension’s Izaya.”

Her let out a giggle before she looked back at me, “Oh, you were serious?” She laughed harder. “Sorry to burst your bubble.” Her brush fluffed something brown over her cheekbones. “Well, I suppose your only plus side is that you don’t cry. That shit is freaking annoying.” She picked up something shimmery and dusted it over her face. “But, maybe that’s what your Shizuo likes? Some guys get turned on by the damsel in distress act.” Her hands skimmed over her huge makeup collection until she found another little box of fake lashes. “Do you think he’s fallen for him already? Wouldn’t that be scandalous.”

I sneered, “Oh please, Shizu-chan hates cry babies. He would never put up with someone like that. How do you know so much about my Shizuo anyway?” I needed answers. Certy was just the right mixture of crazy and stupidity to be the one to give them to me.

Certy pressed her fake lashes above her real ones, “How do you think I do?”

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“Well duh. What is this, villainous monologue time? Because I have a club I’d like to go to that’s way more fun than anything happening at the moment.” She uncapped a tube of lipstick, “Have you ever been to a strip club?”

I wrinkled my nose, “No. I despise lude places.” Damnit Certy, I wanted to scream, just answer my questions!

“I despise lude place.” Certy mocked, “Why not get that stick out of your ass and have some fun!” She rotated around on one leg. “Music and dancing filled with mostly gay men.” Her slinky black dress barely reached her midthigh.

“Then how do you expect to find a nightly companion if most of them are gay Certy-chan?” I inquired. Perhaps if I kept her talking she would forfeit over something valuable eventually.  

“I’m hunting for someone specifically.” She snatched her phone off the vanity, “This is who I’m preying on tonight.”

The guy was a lead singer for some European band, Swimming with Sharks, and looked nothing like Shinra with brown sugar skin, unkept sable hair riddled wild maroon streaks, and very tight, ripped clothing. “He’s….interesting.”

“He’s totally hot. You just have poor taste.” She said with a protruded lower lip. Her face lit up a moment later. Certy snatched my hand in hers to tug me out of the room, “Now let’s go have the night of our lives!”

 

**Shizuo**

 

I walked inside the lab carrying two coffees that I had bought from Starbucks near the hotel on the way over. The steam uncurled in little puffs as I balanced the cups of coffee while dragging a chair behind me careful not to spill. Each one was loaded with sugar and cream because I normally didn’t drink coffee.

I placed myself in front of the mirror with the oddest feeling knotting in my stomach. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting-I mean it’s not like I knew this would even work. But, I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing while Izaya might be in danger.

I took a deep breath and tapped the reattached screen like before. Nothing happened. I tapped it again. “Come on you piece of shit!” Frustrated, I grabbed both sides of the monitor. “I just need to see him.”

The monitor flickered purple then the familiar green from before. Numbers flashed before I saw two women walking along a street getting catcalled. One was tall and dark, the other shorter with tawny shoulder length hair.

“What the fuck?” I tapped the screen.

“I hate this.” The woman with black hair spoke in a surprisingly deep voice for a woman.  

I dropped my hands from the screen accidently knocking it downwards, “Izaya?” My mouth gaped at the sight of his glitter covered ass squeezed into a black one piece. “What the hell is going on?”

 

**Izaya**

 

“I’m honestly starting to doubt if being saved is worth the pain I’m feeling right now.” My feet screamed with each step that we took across town. “Any why did we have to walk here?”

Certy shrugged, “You never said you didn’t want to walk here. I could have parked closer.” Her speed outpaced mine the closer we neared the surprisingly long line.

My right eyelid twitched, “My feet will fall off by the time we get inside.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get passed the line.” Certy grabbed my hand and lead us around the line of colorfully dressed patrons.

I observed my humans glare at us until we approached a very buff looking man.

“He’s competing.” She blurted.

The buff man with a shaved head looked me up and down before he let us pass.

“Certy, what am I competing in?”

“The drag show, remember silly? You get in free if you compete and the lead singer for that band is running it.” She let out a girlish giggle.

The overwhelming urge to slash Certy made my hands tremble, “I’m not competing.”

“Nope, you gotta. I already submitted your name! Kanrazzale Dazzle.” Certy waved her fingers the air at me, “You hate it, right?”

“I do. I really do.”

“Well, it was either than or Sugar Blade.”

“And of course you picked the one I would hate most.”

She patted my hand, “You know it. Now go back stage and win so you can introduce me to Alicio.” She winked before shoving me towards a dark stairwell.

I really hated her.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“He’s not going to do it.” I raised the second cup of coffee to my lips. “He’s going to chicken out.” I muttered while my eyes remained glued to the screen.

 

**Izaya**

 

I hid at the back of the line, “Bonjour mes amis and welcome to the fifth annual drag night extravaganza brought to you by this lovely establishment.” Cheers erupted over the crowd. “I’m so happy to be hosting the events this evening. My name is Alicio Lahiffe, but most of you already know me-” Screams. “So, let’s get this evening started!”

Every man in front of me cheered. I felt sick to my stomach as the line diminished in front of me too quickly for comfort. I couldn’t go through with this! It was far too humiliating.

“Come on.” Unknown hands shoved past the curtain.

I stumbled forward...onto the stage. Bright lights, cheering humans, and me in the center of it. I froze.

“Kanrazzle Dazzle, show us what you got!” A thin man from Certy’s photo stood before me. He was much more attractive in person with very big brown eyes.

I turned my attention to the crowd where everyone had their eyes on me. “Of course.” I answered with false confidence. I straightened my back ready to strut down the walkway when a mop of blond hair caught my eye. “Shizuo.” My heart sighed with relief, I was going to be okay.

 

**Shizu**

 

My heart fluttered at the sound of my name. “Izaya.” I caressed the screen. “I’ll save you.”

“Should let you have a moment alone with the screen?”

I jumped back nearly falling out of my chair, “Dr. Freidrickson! It’s not what it looked like.”

“So, you aren't watching an inter-dimensional drag show?”

“Uh…..”

He sighed grabbing another lab chair. “I’ll watch with you. If I wasn’t so tired, I would be crying tears of joy.” He plopped down beside me.

The situation was awkward enough without Izaya rolling his hips seductively down the stage.

“Well, he has a nice ass to say the least.”

My face burned red in the darkness of the lab. I was going to kill that stupid asshole.

 

**Izaya**

 

“Go Kanra! Work it baby!” Certy whistled. I saw her in the front jumping up and down. “Get on the pole!”

That was when the whole crowd started chanting, “Pole, pole, pole.”

Alicio leaned against the stripper pole to the right of me alluringly, “Well Kanra, how about you treat us to a real dance?”

I glanced at Shizuo who I still had trouble seeing against the lights, but I knew he’d enjoy this. I strutted over to Alicio and placed my hand over his, “I suppose I could indulge you just this once.”

He licked his lower lip sexily, “It'll be a delectable treat I'll never forget.”

 

**Shizuo**

 

We sat with our jaws on the floor as Izaya twisted himself in all sorts of ways swinging around. If I had been alone, I would have enjoyed it.

Hair and glitter floated around Izaya who crawled upwards for a final spin. His face lifted into a sultry smile while he tucked his right leg behind his ear. The crowd roared through the screen when Izaya wiggled his way down the pole.

“Give it up for Kanrazzle Dazzle!” A thin, weird guy hosting the event smacked Izaya’s ass with a wink.

He...he smacked his ass...

“Shizuo, you...you broke your cup.”

I lifted my chair above my head, “That stupid BASTARD!” All the rage I’ve controlled for the past few days finally overflowed. “I’ll find that sleazy shitbag and punch him all the way into another dimension! How dare he let that guy grab his ass!” I threw the chair so hard it lodged itself into the wall.

“Sh-Shizuo, calm down. I thought you said you hated him?”

I roared in Dr. Freidrickson’s face, “That’s why I fucking said I’d punch him into another fucking dimension!”

 

**Izaya**

 

I jumped off the stage immediately after introducing Alicio to Certy, “Shizuo!” I cried.

“Babe!” Shizuo shoved through the thinly dressed crowd of male strippers. His blond hair bounced as he rushed towards me.

Tears stung my eyes, “I’ve missed-”

His strong fingers grabbed my ear, “What the hell is going on! And what was with that performance? You're way more flexible than that! I cannot believe you worried me for three days because you were on vacation with that weird, foreign chick? You should have gotten to a phone and told me what was going on! I thought you said you were investigating-”

I became docile against his bickering as he repeated over and over again how much trouble I was in, how Kadota lost his shit after Shizuo called him saying I was with Shinra or might have been kidnapped, and how much strain I put on him while he tried to chaperone third years and his two students who stowed away on the trip.

“But, before we discuss the obvious need for couples counseling-” He took a deep breath, “I have to admit your makeup is phenomenal. I almost didn’t recognize you!” Shizuo pulled me to his chest. “I’m glad you’re okay.” His chin rested on the top of my head.

“I’m glad you found me.” I inhaled his musky scent grateful that I was finally safe.

A voice cleared, “So detective, you did great up there. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

I pulled away from Shizuo to see a petrified Mikado scanning his surroundings by Masaomi who wore a huge grin. “And you boys were definitely naughty for hiding away.” I clucked my tongue.

“It was Mikado’s idea.” Kida elbowed him.

Mikado squeaked, “Wh-what!”

“You can lecture him later, but first introduce me to your fine lady friend.” Kida purred. “She is one fine boobylishis babe.”

I blanked for a moment only to realize he was talking about Certy. “Oh, no. She’s much too old for you.” I started shoving them towards the door. “We’ve had enough fun for today. Let’s get out of here.” Hurry, I chanted. I wanted to disappear before she noticed we were gone-before someone worse noticed we were gone. 

“‘Zaya, leaving so soon?”

We almost made it. I almost made it. 

A black tentacle of shadow encased my arm. “Why don’t we have a dance first?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Certy's Makeup playlist:
> 
> 1\. You don't know your beautiful- One Direction  
> 2\. Feeling Mysel- Nikki Minaj w. Beyonce  
> 3\. Only Girl-Rihanna  
> 4\. Habits- Tove Lo  
> 5\. Flawless-Beyonce  
> 6\. Mrs. Potato Head- Melanie Martinez  
> 7\. Dangerous Woman-Ariana Grande  
> 8\. She Bad-Cameron Dallas  
> 9\. Boys-Charli XCX  
> 10\. Fantasy- Ms Mr
> 
> Shout out to Kanra for Izaya's drag name. If you guys have one for Izaya, you can comment yours below!
> 
> I know there were probably some grammatical errors that I missed, but after editing this so much I gave up for now. I'll go back and fix everything ...someday. 
> 
> Again thanks for reading <3


	13. The False God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, I know what you’ll do.” His tongue ran along my jaw. “I look forward to it. I like that our plans will intersect.” His breath scalded my right cheek, “We’ll burn each other with the sheer radiance of our love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long ｡･ﾟヾ(✦థ ｪ థ)ﾉ｡ﾟ･｡ Please forgive me

 

**Izaya**

 

Shadows engulfed us creating a perfect black bubble with flashing dots of colored lights gleaming around us. I could see Shinra’s silhouette in the assortment of blinking lights, though I couldn’t hear the club ranging outside. I couldn’t hear Shizuo’s voice, the only anchor that kept me sane these past three days, calling for me. It left me feeling a mixture of desperation and emptiness like I was running through the woods from Certy all over again. Only this time the monster was Shinra.

How could I be so foolish as to think it would be so easy to get away from him? I remember thinking when I first arrived in this dimension how great it would be to find Shinra-to have an ally in this strange world. I was so wrong. I was so very wrong because this Shinra was the sort of monster I actively avoided. The sort of egregious human that often intersect with my line of work whom I would watch from a distance when it suited me.

This Shinra is the worst kind I’ve encountered. He’s the kind of monster that feeds off your reactions and acts like he loves you-repeatedly says he loves you when he just wants the idea of you. He merely wants control of you. The kind of human monster that isn’t sane. These kinds of monsters see things that aren’t there. The kind that makes up fantasies about you-feeling like you’ll complete them. This Shinra is more than that though. He keeps dead bodies in his basement. He works for the Yakuza as not only one of their doctors, but as a disposer of humans deemed a problem by the organization. He’s probably killed on behalf of political figures. In fact, I couldn’t be sure who he’s killed, how many, or even what connections this crazed man has formed.  

The feeling of Shinra’s slimy hand rests on my waist startled me from my thoughts. He pulled me to his chest rather forcefully before whispering, “Just one dance,” before proceeding to waltz us around before I could even respond like a pretentious douchebag.

In some ways, I was very similar to this Shinra. I inflicted pain on those I was close to. I couldn’t effectively form relationships amongst my fellow humans as a normal individual would. I actively sought to goad Shizuo into being a monster instead of creating a well-formed relationship with him even though that’s secretly what I always wanted within the dark recesses of my mind. I stopped Shizuo from making meaningful relationships whenever I can as I attempted to make him an outcast of human society like myself.

I redirected my thoughts to the heaviness of Shinra’s hand on my waist, “You know I’m not a woman, right?” I instantly regretted letting Certy pin this stupid wig to my head, “Despite how I look right now.” Maybe I’m a breed of human monster too. Just not as much as this Shinra who kills for fun. Reflecting on the information I’ve gathered from my few interactions, this Shinra kills because he loves the feeling of blood pumping through his veins while another's spilled to the floor. What a terrible person to have fallen in love with me.   

Shinra flashes me a lovelorn smile that I was used to seeing him wear whenever he gushed over his beloved Celty, “Ah, but you look so beautiful! I just couldn’t resist indulging that feminine side you have.” The smile remained as he leaned into me, “I think it’s so sexy how you totally comfortable crossdressing.”

I grimaced, “Please don’t say that.” He knows I hate it. He’s purposely prodding me into conversation just like I do with Shizuo. I avert my gaze to watch the holes twinkle like purple, pink, and blue stars as the party outside raged...at least I assumed it was still going on. How didn’t they notice this damn bubble, I wondered.

“You know Izaya-”

“What Shinra? Are you going to say I should grow my hair out now?” I rolled my eyes. “Or maybe you brought a dead body along with you that you’d like to have sex on.” My stomach clenched at the thought of that. It was probably a true fantasy for Shinra. I would have to remind myself never to bring that up again, but it was already too late. I could picture him thrusting into Certy over a fresh corpse.

Shinra stopped dancing, “I was going to say I think it’s weird how you aren’t asking me any questions. That just doesn’t seem like you.” His warm breath caressed my right cheek. “And I feel like everything I’ve done these past three days deserves some questioning.”

His breath leaves me feeling queasy, “Will you leave me alone then?” The question comes across as desperate, for that’s exactly how I’m feeling, and lacks the resolve I wanted.

Shinra broke away to spin me with one hand, “Well no, but it would make your job easier detective.”

“I think it’s pointless to ask why you’re like this.” The twirling continued as my thoughts raced just out of my grasp. What did I want to ask this lunatic? “Why did you really drag me to Okinawa Shinra?” It seemed like the simplest thing to ask while forming an escape plan.

Shinra pulled me back into his lab-coated arms, “Because, it was the perfect opportunity to try and kill Shizuo obviously.” Shinra clucked his tongue condescendingly. “That plan can’t be going so well if Celty still has enough focus to keep this barrier up. Oh well.” Shinra’s thumb traced along my veins near the thin flesh of my wrists. “I have a better plan in place now.”

The flashing lights became one large, spotted blur. I couldn’t let Shinra know that his sick game was breaking me. That’s exactly what he would want. “You realize when I get out of here, I’ll take you down. I’ll take everything away from you including your monsters.” I wasn’t sure if he realized what would happen when this trip was over. Perhaps he was far too crazy to realize how much I would ruin him. Everything he did was personal now. Every barrier he put between Shizuo and me, even though this wasn’t my Shizuo, would be treated as a personal injustice.

“Oh, I know what you’ll do.” His tongue ran along my jaw. “I look forward to it. I like that our plans will intersect.” His breath scalded my right cheek, “We’ll burn each other with the sheer radiance of our love.” His cheek rubbed against mine, “But, it’s not nice to threaten the girls. That just can’t be stood for.”

I shoved him off of me as I was unable to stand his sick groping any longer. “I’m going to figure out everything you’ve done and I will make sure you suffer for it.” I would make sure he was killed for the atrocities against humanity he's committed. “It wouldn’t even surprise me if you were the one who made that stupid portal in the first place.”

Shinra blinked behind his frames that glimmered faintly before those terrible rows of white returned. “I love that. I love that you think that Izaya.” Deep bubbles of laughter caused his shoulders to shake. As abruptly as the laughter started, it stopped. “I do love you Izaya.” His face frozen in a serious expression. “And one day you’ll realize you love me too. You’ll realize that the only human you need in your life is me. Until that day-” His head tilted in an almost coy manner, “I look forward to our game.”

The black bubble began to dissipate, yet the smile on his face remained. He ignored my accusation about the portal. He did so deliberately.

 

**Shizuo**

 

“Where the fuck did he go?” I smacked the screen trying to get the picture back. Stupid asshole hugging the other fucking asshole version of me.

“Well from this I can infer that Shinra has the ability to interfere with our device. He doesn’t want us to see whatever is happening right now.” Dr. Freidrickson sat up with a resounding sigh. “We'll have to figure out a way to counteract that along with discovering how he even does that.” He rubbed his chin muttering, “Back to the drawing board.”

“No! No back to whatever the fuck that is.” I smacked the screen harder. “We need to see what’s going on! We have to-we have to make sure-”

“What? That he’s safe?” Dr. Freidrickson made a face, “I thought you hated him.”

Fingers nestled themselves in my hair, “I do-I did.” I scratched my scalp unable to think. I needed a smoke-a walk. Both.

“And now you don’t?”

His question made my body feel...weird. My face tingled with an odd burning sensation, “I-I…” What do I say? I didn’t want him to tell Shingen, “I just would feel bad if he died in a shitty place.” I shrugged. That's normal, right? That's a normal response no one would look into or think twice about.

Dr. Feidrickson nodded, “Okay.”

“It’s not like I’d be very upset if he died though. I mean we hate each other and he’s an asshole.” I crossed my arms shifting my weight. “He hates me and I hate him. It's simple. I'd just feel bad if he died without Shinra getting to say goodbye.”

He nodded along to my ramblings while he dismantled a piece of the machine off the alien device that still gave me the creeps.

“I remember one time, he put a whole pack of dog biscuits in my lunch in high school.”

Dr. Feidrickson’s balding head bobbed to show he was listening the way Americans generally did when they weren't.

“Yeah. Had to chase the fucker all around ‘Bukuro and I still didn’t get him back for that.” My eyes wandered around the lab. “Another time he wrote me this fucking fake love letter. I knew it was fake, but I found it in my favorite book when I was in school. It was one of the few books I’d actually read. It had a poem in it. A really sappy poem about my hair shimmering in the sunlight or some shit.” I actually had that note folded up in my wallet.

“Huh.” His eyes avoided mine as he skimmed over the rectangular metallic piece.

I scratched my shoulder, “It was fucking stupid. I threw a desk at him for that-well I wasn’t sure it was him, but I thought it was.”

“So you just threw a desk at him?” Freidrickson's bushy eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah. Yeah I did. Kasuka always told me I should treasure anything someone gives to me, so I kept it.” It seemed stupid saying it out loud. I had no idea why I loved my little brother so much-why I listened to him. I was supposed to be the one setting the example as the oldest. Instead, I was the failure of our family, but Kasuka loved me anyway.

“That’s interesting advice.” Dr. Freidrickson drawled in a bored tone.

“I guess so.”

The sound of the sliding front door interrupted our conversation and revealed a disheveled Izaya and Shinra walking into the lab tiredly with two cups of Starbucks Coffee in their hands.

Izaya’s sleepy expression lifted, “Shizuo, there you are!” His face brightened into a genuine smile so different from the real Izaya it made my heart clench. “I was so worried when you left our room that I woke up Shinra to come look for you.”

Shinra flashed a small, but tired smile. “I figured I should search so Celty can sleep.” His wrist made a small cracked when he stretched the cup of coffee to his mouth.

“Yes! We have such a big day tomorrow!” Izaya bound towards me wrapping my right arm around his like I've seen some girls do to their boyfriends.

“Why?” Please don’t be shopping, I prayed afraid of his answer.

“We’re going shopping and then we’re going to see a Cubs game!”

My heart sank at the prospect of shopping, “Cubs?” I asked confused.

“One of the Chicago baseball teams.” Izaya gripped his fingers into my arm looking eager. “Won’t it be so much fun!”

I gulped down the fear I held for our Izaya knowing this Izaya wouldn’t understand, “Yeah. It sounds great.”

 

**Izaya**

 

The black bubble dissipated revealing the sheer chaos surrounding us. People had long fled the bar and I could see Shizuo swinging a lamp post at Celty in front of two turned over cars. Black trenails tried grabbing Shizuo has he lept and dodged with surprising speed that surpassed my Shizuo. He kicked a car at Celty before running atop it and lifted the light post ready to crash down upon Celty with surprising ferocity. They looked like-were gods at war with one another.

“Celty, my beautiful darling!” Shinra said in a fawning voice before it hardened, “We’re done here.” He stood beside me with a presence that caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up as his hand brushed against mine. “I’ll come back for you.” He whispered under his breath before exiting the club that now had no doors. His lab coat covered shoulders covered my field of vision as he walked towards the shadow monster unafraid of being consumed by the darkness. What an odd human.

Shizuo crashed into empty ground screaming, “Get back here and fucking fight me!” He threw the lamp post into one of the cars screaming. “Get back here and let me kick your fucking ass Shinra! Piece of murdering shit!”

I stood inside the club watching this Shizuo unravel in a way I've never seen. I was mystified at his complete 180 change in behavior. He was acting like a wild animal screaming as Shinra stepped into a black shadow with a cold smile frozen on his face.

Then they disappeared the moment Shizuo lifted the car and chucked it. The car skidded and collided with a small shed completely crushing it. It probably stored spare equipment for the club. Extra equipment that was probably worth a pretty penny that we would have to pay for.

“Shizuo.” I snapped. “You’re acting like an idiot.”

Shizuo’s shoulders shook with his heavy breathing, “I fucking know that.” He snapped. His fists were clenched tight at his side, “I just want to kill that bastard. That piece of shit and his monster almost hurt two of my students.”

I took a sharp inhale of breath half expecting his anger to turn onto me as I closed the space between us. No one was in the small front parking lot, or on the streets this time of night in such a small town.

The brute’s shoulders wracked with each heavy breath. There were no string of curses under his breath; he merely glared at the spot where Celty had turned into a dark shadow engulfing Shinra in entirety before vanishing into the night. His honey eyes were so fixated in a way that held more intelligence than my Shizuo on his best day.  

“Shizuo.” I spoke his name softly standing a great deal away from him for pretending to be married. I watched his breaths become softer as time ticked by. “Where are Kida and Ryuugamine? Are they hurt?”

Shizuo blinked and straightened up. “I sent them into that convenience store over there.” He thumbed behind himself. “It had an arcade, or so it advertised.”

“You left them alone?” I raised my right brow, “That doesn’t seem so responsible Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo shook his head, “A young woman went with him. She was caught up in the mess like them and-”

My thoughts started to rush together as I saw one lone heel a few meters away that looked strikingly similar to the one that…

“Yeah, I mean she seemed nice enough. She was dressed pretty scandalously-

“What color was her hair?” I asked quietly.

Shizuo scrunched his nose, “A light brown?”

“You idiot,” I muttered before bolting towards the convenience store where Certy undoubtedly might have already killed those two boys. I sprinted with my arms pumping at my sides in horribly ungraceful manner so unlike how I run from Shizuo, but I needed to get there. I had to save them from that crazy bitch.

I had the sensation of a dream-like state where no matter how hard or fast you run it’s never going to get you closer. I shifted my torso forward looking like a stumbling mess with the wig half falling off my head, and the leotard that failed to keep my ass covered. I kicked off the heels and the glass door finally was within my grasp.  

I shoved the glass door open to see an attendant turn his nose up at me. I ignored him and headed down the short hallway past the bathrooms until there was only one room in front with no door. “Kida!” I shouted as I entered. The two boys had their heads together looking at a screen. Kida swiveled around with a huge smile on his face, “Yo detective. Is Shizuo done fighting that biker chick monster?” His eyes trailed to my legs, “You’re still looking good by the way even without the wig.”

Mikado elbowed Masaomi in the ribs, “Knock it off. He was under cover.”

I scratched the top of my eyes to feel the long hair was gone.

Kida’s grin only grew wider, “Yeah, I bet Mikado wanted to join him up there-”

Mikado’s face grew bright red as he punched him in the face. “Don’t say stuff like that!”

Kida nearly fell off his worn leather seat, “Kidding. I was only joking. You don’t have the butt to pull that look off.”

Mikado crossed his arms and turned away from his annoying friend that I couldn’t help but feel there was something more there. I would have to investigate that later. “The girl. The girl who was with you-”

Kida stretched his arm above his head, “Oh yeah. She fell madly in love with me, but I had to tell her I wasn’t interested. She was pretty crazy once we started talking, but she’s damn good at vintage games.” Kida smacked the joystick with his elbow.

“What did she talk to you about?”

Kida scratched his chin before turning his eyes to Mikado, “Well at first she was jumpy because of the fight, but basically she was talking about how she was going to follow that European rocker...oh she was talking about taking a trip abroad. She didn’t say where though.”

Mikado reluctantly turned around tapping his right index finger against his left arm in a nervous twitch, “She-she also said something else that was pretty weird.” His voice cracked.

“What?” I could feel my heart stop in my chest petrified of what he would say.

“She said she needed a new a new body. It was a weird thing to say, but she could have meant she needed to work out like she wanted to get thinner.”

Kida raised his finger, “Or she was going abroad to get some cheap plastic surgery done.” He closed his eyes and nodded his head like that was the most logical explanation.

They were both wrong.

 

**Shizuo**

 

I really didn’t want to go shopping. I knew everyone in our group was just going to ignore me as we walked closer and closer to the looming window covered building.

“Shizuo, malls are wonderful! I can't wait to finally dress Celty up in somethings…”Shinra giggled before Celty punched his arm. He seemed way too excited to drag Celty into the nearest brick building that had a huge sign reading Victoria’s Secret.

“I’m just excited to go shopping. I could use some more clothes.” Izaya folded his arms behind his head with a wistful sigh. “Plus I can use you to model clothes I want to buy for my loving husband.”

I didn't want to say anything to ruin his mood, but I couldn't help but get annoyed at the thought of my flea with his Shizuo. The stupid piece of shit probably has been lying through his teeth this whole time. I would punch him in his goddamn face if he fucked-

“Shizuo, you’re breaking my hand.” Izaya grimaced retracting his hand from my grasp. “The whole point was not to get lose each other till we got there.”

“Right. Sorry.” I coughed. I couldn’t get the image of his husband all over our Izaya. That piece of shit flea...how could he do that? Didn’t he have any standards? He was probably too busy enjoying himself bent over the other Shizuo’s desk like some masochistic skank-

“I hope he's alright. I bet he’s missing me like crazy. Do you think he misses me?” Izaya turned his eager brown eyes up to mine.

The truth rolled down my throat and buried itself inside me in a knotted twist. I hate liars. I hate everything they do. But, I couldn't wouldn't be the one to tell him that he doesn’t even realize he’s gone. “Yeah. I think he does.” I swear I would kill that stupid flea someday.

 

**Izaya**

 

We watched huddled outside the arcade for Shizuo to fix things up before the police arrived writing Shizuo a very expensive ticket for destruction of property. Shizuo handled that part quite well. Better than I did. I would have to barter some information to make up for the huge deficit we would be facing for all the destruction.  

“Shizuo, I need to use your phone.” I held my hand out expecting the phone to be placed in my hand.

Shizuo ignored me turning his attention to the boys. “I need you, boys, to start returning to the hotel. I will be right behind you.”

The boys nodded tight-lipped before hurrying forward.

“I cannot believe you.” Shizuo’s voice was small. “You’ve been missing, and you were with Shinra again!” Shizuo covered his eyes. “You know, I can’t help but think right now that you purposely went with him.” He threw his arms down at his side.

My lips curled back, “Oh. Is that what you’re thinking?” I pressed my index finger into his chest, “I chose to be drugged and kidnapped? I chose to be flown here-”

Shizuo gripped my shoulders with both hands, “You let him walk right past you. You-you didn’t try arresting him!” His hands were heavy as they laid flat pressing down on either side of me. “Don’t think I didn’t see that! Even though I was fighting-” Shizuo retracted his hands and stepped back. “You let him walk right by you.” Shizuo clicked his tongue, “And the fact you’ve been behaving so oddly...I just-I just don’t know what to think right now.” Shizuo sped by me. “I just don’t want to deal with the possibility you’re cheating on me right now.” He shook his head and continued after the boys left me alone. Alone and with my ass hanging out. At night. In an unknown city.

I glared at his stupid back. “I fucking hate this Shizuo.” My heels clicked down the street after them seeing as it beat being alone in the dark with Certy prowling about.

Even though I knew Shinra had pulled back, for now, I couldn’t help but feeling eyes on me. Mikado’s statement about Certy wanting a new body caused shivers down my spine in the darkness. I could almost feel her slender fingers trailing over my skin as she dressed me up like her personal doll once more. The worst thing I knew in that walk back to the hotel was that she never said what kind of body she was looking for.

 

**Shizuo**

Shopping took three hours. Celty and I stood in the back watching the two idiots flutter around picking out clothes and random shit.

Celty shook her helmet before holding up her phone that read, “I keep telling him I just can make my own but he never listens to me.”

I let out my hundredth sigh for the day, “It’s Shinra.” My mind kept wandering back to the flea. I hoped he was miserable. I wanted him to suffer while secretly hoping he was still okay. Nothing about this situation was making sense for me anymore.

 

**Izaya**

Since Shizuo wanted to sleep in his room alone, I chose to sit on the small balcony with his cell phone clutched in my hand. The first thing I did was call Kadota.

“Hey.” His voice answered simply.

“Dotachin, it’s me-”

“Izaya? What the hell happened?”

“Never mind that! What happened with the slashings.” I drummed my nails across the plastic arm of the chair.

“Oh, well five officers were placed in critical condition. Another three had small gashes.” Kadota had a sigh at the end of his sentence.

My spine stiffened, “Were you one of them?” My tongue felt heavy. I had the overwhelming urge to keep it stuck to the roof of my mouth and just let Kadota talk.

“Luckily no. We still could have used your help though.”  

I closed my head and shifted my head away from the phone in relief. At least he wasn’t infected.  

“We have some leads that we need you to look into, but when you get back the boss wants a word with you. It sounds serious ‘zaya. I think he’s pissed you ran off for three days when that big murder case is mounting. Diplomat Sato wants the case solves immediately, and the press has been badgering us about official arrests-”

“It was Shinra. I don’t know why or how though.” I tapped my fingers. “Also, I need the estate he is staying at raided promptly.” I turned my gaze to see Shizuo sitting on the bed with his head hung. His blond hair covered half his face and he wore a mixture of guilt and sadness that nearly inspired pity from me.

Kadota was silent for a long pause, “The evidence didn’t check out. That scalpel-Izaya that scalpel is used at ten hospitals in our area alone. The Chinese factory ships everywhere. It’s not unique besides the fact it’s one of the most precise blades they offer. No one named Kishitana had an order placed. Plus none of this proves that Shinra murdered his son, removed the bullet without leaving an exit wound-” A loud clang rang from the other side of the phone, “It’s like the bullet literally disappeared inside his head just like that girl, I don’t remember her name off the top-.”

“Akari.” I rubbed my temple with my free hand. “And the evidence is in the estate. It was Celty. I’m telling you it was one of his monsters.”

I heard more rumbling, “Izaya, I have no idea what you’re talking about. The dude was weird. He’s always been weird, and he’s always going to be weird. But, he’s married now and she’s in no way a monster. She’s honestly really hot in that biker outfit.”

“Dotachin. I need you to trust me. I need you to get me some officers and I will lead them to the estate to gather evidence-”

“Izaya, I think you’re wrong. I think you’re wrong about the whole thing. I mean for god’s sake man his wife’s name is Certy. There is no Celty.”

“Dotachin.” I gritted my teeth, “There’s two of them. He has two of them and one is human and the other is a monster that Shizuo always fights!”

Kadota let out a loud breath, “I want to talk to Shizuo.”

I jumped up from the chair, “I am your partner! I’m the one you should be talking to right now! I”m telling you there’s two of them and one is the girl you-I mean we went to school with! The foreign girlfriend he had.”

“Pass the phone to Shizuo please, or I will hang up.” His voice was the hardest I've ever heard.

I let out a low laugh before throwing the glass sliding door open and chucking the phone at Shizuo’s head. “It’s for you.” I sneered and slammed the door closed.

I was going back to that damn house with or without backup. In fact, I had all I needed to do so: A coat, a knife, shoes, and some yen. Enough for a cab. All I needed was a phone. I glanced at Shizuo standing up from the bed with his eyes fixated on me now concerned at what Kadota was spouting obviously. I don’t need to put up with this. I don’t need him or his concern. “Fuck you Shizuo. I liked the dumb you better.” I jumped up onto the balcony railing before lowering myself down to the one below. I followed this process over and over until my feet touched the dirt where I stood a day ago looking up at Shizuo like some sort of God. What a fool I was. I’ll never make that mistake again.

I sprinted into the woods with the sound of Shizuo shouts wafting behind almost like everything was normal once more except for the cries that followed.

"But, I love you." Rang in my ears as the sentence caused me to press forward even more disgusted than I already had been.

I kept running till I managed to commandeer a ride within three kilometers of the estate I so desperately tried escaping from earlier. It was strange walking through the darkness without a phone. This whole instance was just a cruel reminder to me that I need at least two other phones.

It took nearly an hour, but I managed to find my way as the sun was rising. I walked around the gate indented from my great motorcycle escape. The green crash had a black streak from where I drove through it and another that swerved through it in a zig-zag pattern giving me the impression that Certy enjoyed our chase far more than she let on.  

The whole atmosphere of the place seemed like it changed. It looked very green, bright under the rising pink sunlight. Random plants and flowers waved in the light morning breeze, I heard wind chimes jiggle and ring ahead of me, and everything seemed so...peaceful. In fact, the only loud sound was my footsteps that made slapping noises against the pavement since Shizuo’s shoes were too big.

I wanted to call out as the pale, yellow garage haunted my view. It was like moving through a dream again just like earlier. Every step seemed to take me longer to reach the building. I could almost smell the rancid stench of the body Certy desecrated. My heart raced at the thought of the body slumped in the chair with chopped fingers littering the floor.

The worst part was the helplessness that overpowered me. I felt powerless to stop the things Shinra caused to happen and that wasn’t something I was going to deal with anymore. I stormed over to the garage and threw open the white door to find...a perfectly spotless garage. There was no blood, no fingers, no body.

Just because he cleaned one room, didn’t mean that the rest of the rooms were cleared. I bolted towards the beach house only to find the same thing. Everything was cleared. The whole house was empty. There wasn’t any notes, no clues, no phone calls to gloat over his success. It was like these past three days never happened.

In a way, it was fitting.  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you guys have some questions answered or have more questions to ask and are excited to see what twists and turns await you next. Huge shout out to Kanra who beta read the whole thing three times and helped me along and noticed how hard I've been working to improve my writing ｡ﾟヽ(ﾟ´Д｀)ﾉﾟ｡ I'm so happy someone finally noticed. Yes, this kind of was a filler chapter to the huge chapter I have planned next, but hopefully it was still enjoyable. 
> 
> Anyways I will do a fun end of chapter thing now since some readers seem to like them and here it is: Durarara couples as couples from my high school who may or may not disgust me. This is a hundred percent real and I know all of them XD 
> 
> 1\. The basic couple: Shizuo 2.0 & Izaya 2.0- they have matching shirts and probably matching ugg boots that they wear when going on trips to the apple orchard and have to annoyingly snap everyone every five seconds showing that they're together even though they always are. Besides the fact they're disgustingly affectionate and understanding of one another, they make decent company.  
> 2\. Love/Hate otherwise known as the ON/Off couple: Original Shizaya- Continually pissed off at each other but brags about their awesome makeup sex after football games, everyone wonders why they're still together. They enjoy fucked up mind games and spouts of making each other jealous, watching Netflix, and ramming their tongues down each other's throats in front of lockers no matter how many neighbors complain.  
> 3\. The weird couple that wears a lot of black but they're not goth: Certy& Evil Shinra- 90% of their wardrobe is black, but both swear they are not goth. They're moody and like reading poetry to one another while bashing everyone else in the school while smoking behind the bleachers whenever they can get away with it. They have their murder plan down to pat in case one of them snaps on their parents and fancy having some midnight graveyard sex every once in awhile to keep things fresh. They're pretty good friends if they like you, but they're into some weird shit that goes a lot deeper than boy love.  
> 4\. The nerd dating the hot girl: ShinraxCelty- Ah, the huge nerd landed a popular hot girl with tons of friends after years of persistence. They're a cute, awkward couple that enjoy teasing each other, going to movies, traveling, and hanging out with all their friends. Cutest couple. 
> 
>  
> 
> So there we have it. I hope you enjoyed the update that finally happened and leave a comment. 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	14. The Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His lips curled into a smile, "Sometimes the simplest solution is the truth. Humans squirm around it. Avoid it like death because it's too hard to give up the lie they've been idolizing." His dark eyes shimmered through the stray lights of the tunnel we had entered, "Just as you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so fucking long!

  
**Izaya**

 

Shizuo escorted me in a very overbearing manner. He insisted on carrying our bags, assisting his students by himself, and I could not be more than a meter away from him at all times. I stared at his back disgusted. He didn’t believe me, which is why he was acting like this.  
This Shizuo, no matter how intelligent he is, couldn’t see what was really happening. I could trace this behavior back to Kadota poisoning his mind when I pitched the phone at his head the other day. Dotachin filled him with lies before insisting that I receive a mental examination before I continued with the diplomat’s case. I doubt I’d have until the end of the week to close it and now I had to see a psychologist on top of it just to get Shizu-chan off my back. Normally, I would have enjoyed picking a professional's brain on human behavior, but not when I was the focus. Not when I have to keep up a facade until I can escape.

I shuffled behind Shizuo through the narrow aisle of the plane in deep thought until his voice yanked me into the real world,“Izaya, here’s your seat,” He announced in a deflated tone. A strangled scratching noise rose from his throat as he battled the urge to take the seat beside me. I could tell from the way his hips leaned. His left side swayed and it looked like he was in pain from not doing so. The brute lifted my bag into the overhead bin then left without another word.

Some small part of me whimpered in the back of my mind that I should comfort him. A small part easily snuffed out with the bitterness of him choosing to believe Kadota over me. I should be more worried about my fake deteriorating marriage, but I had more important issues at the moment to address. Shinra had boxed me into his sick plan. It was time for me to indulge in my true profession. I needed information because someone knew who the slasher was and that was the key player in stopping whatever he had planned for the police force. When I arrived in Ikebukuro, I would have this whole affair solved and Shinra will be behind bars.

 

**Shizuo**

Our room had bags scattered around Izaya's side of the room with white tissue paper sticking out wildly. The bags were covered with English slogans I'd seen on occasion from movies or online videos. Izaya had an oldies American station playing from the ancient looking clock radio. The mist from the bathroom wafted under the bathroom door and really made me want a cigarette.  
_"Close your eyes, and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you, remember I'll always be true and while I'm away, I'll write home every day and I'll send all my loving to you."_  
Even now I couldn't escape the fact I missed that fucking asshole. It's something I've come to terms with the more time I've spent with this Izaya 2.0 who lacked all the qualities that pissed me off. He was pleasant, but I was ready to have my flea back. I would have a lot of things to make right with him before we could be friends or anything more. I wanted to be something more after living most of my life alone. I'm sure Izaya was lonely too. He always said he loved humans, yet I don't think he ever really loved a specific human.  
The shower turned off and a small voice in the back of my mind warned me to consider the fact I may never see Izaya again. "Shut up," I mumbled under my breath. I couldn't listen to that voice, at least not until we tried to get the portal working.

 

**Izaya**

 

Arrival back in Ikebukuro was uneventful. Shizuo was seated next to his students and managed to avoid me the entire time, not that I minded. The plane landed and Shizuo once again had me shuffle behind him until we reached the bus stop that would take us to the train station so we could finally arrive back at Ikebukuro.

Upon boarding, the tired students dispersed along the train happy to finally be free of the adult supervision from their grumpy chaperone and his two tagalong first-year students. Unfortunately, this meant Shizuo and I were left awkwardly next to each other in a way that was so similar to when that American president got caught cheating on his wife. His wife stood smiling behind him, yet her eyes shot daggers into his back. Shizuo's disgruntled glare wasn't aimed at me, but it did scare away most of the passengers in our vicinity, which left me with little human interaction to observe.

Although part of me realized he wasn’t infuriated with me per say after what transpired in Okinawa. He was...upset due to the fact Kadota told him something that obviously was a misunderstanding. I wasn’t in danger of losing what little left of my sanity I had left anytime soon. I suppose it was for the best that I didn't have reinforcements come to the beach house. Obviously, Shinra was ahead of me in his plan for now. He wanted me to send reinforcements to the beach house. At least I foiled one part of his plan. I just needed to work with greater efficiency to bring him down.

The train slowed abruptly causing me to sway into Shizuo who froze at the sudden impact. I easily felt his rigid muscles through his shirt once my face landed on his chest. I inhaled his cologne before pushing myself away.

I gripped the standing handle while the train proceeded to rumble forward. I turned to the man at my right reading the paper so avidly, “Excuse me, sir, do you take this train a lot?” I forced my friendliest smile on my face.

He cleared his throat for a moment before mumbling, “Yes.” His dark eyes continued to dart between the words on the thin paper.

“Does this train experience a lot of problems?”

A crisp snap before his thin pressed lips gruffly answering, “No it does not.” His authoritative tone implied he was done with this conversation.

I could have gotten him to talk more, and I was about to when Shizuo nudged my ribs with his elbow. I turned my head to see his handsome face tight followed by raising his chin upwards towards a displeased security guard eyeing me in my awful Hawaiian print t-shirt and board shorts that I would never want anyone who really knew me to see me in. Ferociously pink like a unicorn had ejaculated all over a Hawaiian beach towel. The other Izaya had disgusting tastes.

I smiled at the guard and returned to my boring stance of the ever dutiful husband I pretended to be for the next forty minutes until we finally arrived in Ikebukuro. The students rushed off with their bags off while Shizuo followed behind ignoring me.

The train station was packed as always, but through the thicket of people, I heard someone shout my name. I turned around to see Kadota muscling his way through the people out of uniform.

"Izaya, I need to talk to you." Kadota's deep voice carried oddly well through all the noise.

"Yes, Dotachin?" I asked sweetly once he was near. I couldn't stand to see him after he so blatantly betrayed my trust. I resisted the urge to punish his betrayal for now.

His left eye twitched, there was no missing it, "I need you to come with me." He said almost sadly.

"What for?"

Kadota sighed, "The Chief wants to speak with you right away."

I smiled with all the strength I could muster, but deep down I knew the walls were closing in. I would have to solve the case with evidence to convict Shinra, frame someone else, or I would have to run. I don't think this Shizuo would understand, which meant I would only have one person to turn to and he was the last person I wanted to rely on.

 

**Shizuo**

 

My ass hurt from sitting so long on the hard cement next to Dr. Freidrickson, who by the way, was smart enough to wear kneepads. His low whistles made my fist clench around tools I forced myself not to break during our three-hour construction project. It made me agitated. Why the fuck did I have to hold them?

Freidrickson also had the brilliant idea of putting me in charge of holding these almost microscopic screws and bolts in my left hand. Idiot. Both of us idiots. The whole fucking idiot laboratory.

"Shizuo!" A happy voice called that grated on my last nerve. "I brought you something," the other dimension flea smiled with large, brown eyes. His right fist was wrapped around a putrid pink Starbucks cup with my usual ungodly amount of whipped cream on top.

My eye twitched, "It's pink." I stated flatly.

Izaya rolled his eyes and swayed in a relaxed manner while lifting his own pink drink to his mouth, "So we match."

Matching, communication, love- annoying. It was all so horribly annoying I could feel my reeled in anger start to unravel.

"I warned you he wouldn't like it." Shinra sighed, "You should have just listened to my beautiful Celty."

His lovesickness was irritating the shit out of me just like everything else today. I exchanged my small responsibility with Izaya so I could try his horrible pink garbage drink. I licked the excess whipped cream off the straw before sipping. The sweet tang of passion fruit, strawberries, and milk entered my mouth. I swished the fluid around before deciding to swallow and drinking some more.

Izaya triumphantly turned to Shinra, "And what did I tell you?" Izaya's eyebrow raised before he sipped through his own straw gloating.

Shinra stared at me, "Fine. It doesn't mean you really know him though. It's just a lucky guess." His posture was suddenly defensive, which was strange because Shinra never got upset about anything other than Celty.

I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but Izaya opened his mouth, "I don't think just because Shizuo likes his pink drink that means you're a stalker."

My heart thumped at the words stalker. "What?" I asked stunned, "I thought you just said your Shinra was odd." My mind wandered back to Izaya tied up in a basement and Shinra's cold smile...

Izaya moved the liquid in his mouth around in his puffy cheeks before swallowing, "It's...complicated. I'd never call him in myself, but he does have the tendency to go through stalking spurts." Izaya gazed at me like he was deciding to disclose something personal but decided against it. "It's not a big deal. He never does anything."

Shinra's frown deepened but the sentence I wanted to say followed, "That you know of."

 

**Izaya**

 

The case closing in feeling more like a noose than an honor of being the lead investigator. I knew who it was. I knew it was Shinra and his monsters, but I didn't know why. Yakuza was paying him to silence enemies, but which group? Why two relatively ordinary citizens? Certy said she did it for fun, but I highly doubt she kills anyone without Shinra's permission.

I still drove in the police car towards one of his supposed practices with Kadota in tow. His eyes were steely focused dead ahead. His whole body rigid with distrust. He didn't like Shinra. His dislike ran deeper than being the friend of an old ex. I just didn't know why yet.

I parked our police vehicle outside the front door knowing someone would report it to whichever gang he was working with. The parking lot was barren an hour before opening and the pristinely clean glass door held the only visible natural light. How depressing for his patients. Then again, it could be a way to hide his numerous engagements not having any windows. A shiver ran down my spine thinking of Certy chopping up bodies as I pushed open the unlocked glass door leading into a small, equally empty waiting room.

Painfully white walls shone too brightly under the fluorescent lights. A front desk without a computer or calendar sat to the left with six black waiting chairs in front. I'm not sure what he had the assistant do all day if he even had one. I was beginning to suspect this was merely a show with his real office far away from this place. He wouldn't be the first person I know with a fake office. I had multiple myself.

"Hello, gentlemen." Shinra walked out front in a crisp, white uniform with black dress pants and polished shoes underneath. His glasses reflected the bright light in a menacing way that didn't match his wide smile, "How can I help you today?"

"We have some questions," Kadota asked gruffly. His chest was puffed up, and his brown eyes focused on Shinra intensely.

Shinra cocked his head to the side slyly, "Ask away detectives."

Taunting. He was taunting me, "Where were you this weekend?" I spat venomously.

Shinra focused on me now as if he just realized I was there, "I spent all weekend with my wife." His eyes flickered from me to Kadota. "Why?"

"Have you had any patients recently discuss the murder investigation of Ken Sato, the South Korean diplomat's son?" Kadota ignored the weekend question. He didn't believe me either.

Shinra leaned back on his heels and glanced at the ceiling, "I can't say I recall any one patient discussing the matter." His hands slide into his lab coat pockets.

He was hiding something. Hiding what he did to me, "But you have had patients discuss it."

Shinra pressed his lips together thoughtfully, "A few after it happened. I haven't heard anything since. I'm sure once there's an update-" His dark eyes bore into mine, "The talking will start again."

He knew I was running out of time, "Did anyone confess to knowing something? Perhaps discuss a motive of why?"

Shinra pauses for a forced smile, "Now detective, why would that be a factor in your investigation? Do ramblings of celebrities really matter?"

Kadota snorted, "Yes...celebrities."

Shinra blinked once before stepping forward towards me as a challenge, "You know they aren't a reliable bunch, famous people."

I stiffened but held my ground, "Why do you think it happened Shinra?" I smiled cruelly back. "You must have an idea of your own why such horrible events unfolded."

Kadota interjected,"Maybe they got to close to discovering something they shouldn't have. Did anyone mention something similar to that?"

Shinra's focus remained on me, "You really want to know what I think Izaya?" He practically purred my name, "I think some children fell into the wrong crowd. I think they got into drugs and we shouldn't be at all surprised their lives ended the way they did." He spoke the sentence clearly and I could hear Kadota pull out a notepad. Dark eyes challenged me to speak the unsaid truth of the situation-the one my partner refused to believe.

Kadota tapped his pen against his pad of paper, "Why do you think it's this theory?" He asked evenly.

"Yeah Shinra, why this theory instead of a serial killer or someone who did it for...fun." I took a step towards him, "We haven't ruled that possibility out yet."

Despite my jab at Certy, Shinra remained calm, "I think drugs would be more plausible, don't you?" His right foot tapped against the shiny tiled floor, "I may know someone you can talk to. I believe he mentioned he sold something to Soto's son."

Kadota's eyebrows raised, "Who?"

Shinra shrewdly replied, "He's on my inquiry list. His name, surprisingly, is Shizuo Nobusama. You can probably find him on Sunshine street with a yellow bandana."

I grinned, "So specific Shinra almost like you just saw him." I narrowed my eyes at him. Too bad I couldn't use my knife on him in front of Kadota. My right hand was itching for it and I'd press it into that stupid smile of his-

Shinra invaded my personal space with a breathy sigh, "He was just here. He said he wanted some cosmetic surgery done and when I questioned him about payment, he stormed off. Seems life hasn't been too good to Nobusama, but he was wearing a yellow bandana, green sweatshirt, and black beanie on his head." He smelled faintly of coffee and hand sanitizer. His teeth were unnervingly white.

I straightened my back refusing to be intimated, "I suppose we'll go investigate him. We'll be in touch Shinra." I spun on my heels refusing him the reaction he so desperately craved from me. I'd never give that to him. This Shinra does not scare me.

 

**Shizuo**

 

Celty sat with us while we worked. I kept telling her she didn't have to, but she insisted. Shinra ran off with Izaya somewhere stupid probably. They weirdly got along in better way than with our Izaya. Maybe that's because the flea was almost too toxic to get close to. Fucking nuclear waste asshole.  
No one said anything to agitate me further, but I just felt like something was bothering me. "Hey Celty, do-do you think Izaya's okay?" I hesitated to bring him up around her.  
Her small shoulders shrugged. I doubt she really cared to have him back in the first place. I wish I could feel the same.

 

**Izaya**

 

We did find Nobusama, who was dressed exactly as Shinra had described. Surprisingly, he was a plump gentleman with a forced tough exterior. I wonder how I would have manipulated him under different circumstances; I probably would have encouraged him to fight Shizuo. Maybe even plant the idea in his head that he could pretend to be Shizuo. Him stalking around Ikebukuro in bartender clothing until he wandered into an unknowing Shizuo.

I smiled picturing Shizuo's clenched fist colliding with his fat jaw. Then all I could see was evil Shinra's grin, "Excuse me Nobusama, we need to have a word with you." I slipped my right hand into my coat pocket pulling out my badge. It was fun watching his eyes go wide in terror, "Relax~" I assured him, "It'll only take a minute of your time."

Kadota cleared his throat behind me, "Do you want me to-"

I raised my hand before sliding my badge inside the safety of my pocket, "I got this Dotachin." I forced my friendliest smile and reminded myself of how much I love humans. Fat humans, thin ones-it really didn't matter. They were all so pathetic, so contradicting yet predictable. I love humans, no matter how trying. No matter how much I hate the Shinra here.

"Is something wrong?" He rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, looking uncomfortable. Something in his tone told me he didn't really want me to answer. Heh, how childish.

"Someone told me you may have seen a teenager by the name of Ken Sato a few weeks ago." I extended the only picture the police had been issued towards him. "Rumor has it he had possibly been entangled with drugs," I observed the slight nervous twitch of his fingers, the way he blinked just a little too often. "We just wanted to see if it was true," I said lightly, letting my smirk draw a little wider with subtle intimidation.

His fat neck strained backward like he thought someone was behind him... like he was scared of being caught. "I...I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Is that so?" I tilted my head and grabbed his right hand, "Call me if you remember anything." I turned on my heels, "Have a good day Nobusama~" I wanted to skip all the way back to the police car. He knew something and it was important. Something to do with Shinra.

"That was quick." Kadota huffed as he slid into the passenger's seat, "He obviously knew something."

I laughed a little too loudly, "Of course he does, and you know what Dotachin? He's going to tell us everything of his own accord." I pulled away from the curb with victory in sight. Everything was going to change.

Shizuo

"Please, please just go for a walk with me Shizuo." Izaya held my hand between his gazing at me with pleading brown eyes. "You've been in here all day and unlike Dr. Freidrickson you don't get a paid for it."

He had a point. I had shoved myself in this lab for the past 8 hours trying to fix something beyond my understanding with the doctor babbling on about anything that came into his mind. His ramblings could start with a trip to the grocery store and end with him cursing his ex-wife to hell. Then he'd abruptly start talking about theories about why my body might be so strong. The more hours that passed, the worse his ramblings got and no amount of coffee seemed to keep his focus on anything for very long.

"Your other dimensional husband is right Shizuo! You don't get paid for your assistance to me. You're like an intern but with no skills or knowledge with what we're working on." Dr. Freidrickson paused to scratch his head, "You don't even get college credit. Honestly, it sounds more like an indentured servant." He paused again looking at me, "Do we really not pay our interns?"

I blinked, "I have no idea."

He shrugged his shoulders muttering something about America before shooing me away towards the only entrance/exit for the lab, "Have fun!"

Izaya's prodding finally got me to turn around to face the door, "We should talk." He said avoiding my gaze. "We have hardly talked all day."

Talking...I suppose my-our Izaya loves to talk. He's always skipping around like a fuckwad laughing and rambling in different languages at people he passes. "Right."

Izaya glared at me through thick lashes, "That's not talking."

I scratched my chin, "I opened my mouth and words came out. Seems like talking to me."

His grip on my hand tightened and I could feel his thumbnail driving into the space between my knuckles, "Tell me about your day."

I shrugged wanting him to let go before too many people saw us. We already stood out being the only Japanese couple, much less the gay Japanese couple, while we headed towards the exit. Security watched me intently. Izaya didn't even so much as get a second glance.

"It went alright."

Izaya turned away from me dropping my hand.

"I held tiny bolts and stuff for Dr.Freidrickson."

Izaya glared at the sidewalk once we stepped through the glass automatic doors.

"That's it. I didn't do anything exciting today. Sorry I don't have an overwhelming amount of feelings or events to report." I grimaced at him.

"Whatever."

We walked in silence around Chicago with some parts becoming familiar to me. I loved quiet, but this quiet churned my insides the further we walked.

"I know you're keeping something from me."

I opened my mouth for a moment. Just a moment to process the fact I WAS keeping things from him. I should tell this Izaya that mine-our Izaya had moved in on his Shizuo like the parasite he was. That he might not even plan on giving him back. He might even be sleeping with him. He was probably enjoying living Izaya 2.0s life. He was probably fucking everything up this very moment.

"Just tell me." His hand gripped the crook of my arm, "Please. I can handle it. Whatever secrets you've been keeping from me."

I closed my mouth and shook my head unable to look at him, "You really wouldn't want to hear it." I picked up my gait hoping that Izaya would just drop it. I didn't want to be the one to break his heart. The flea should do that.

 

**Izaya**

 

Before my shift ended, another breakthrough occurred. My focus changed from Nobusama to a different species of prey. Another investigator brought me the records of the beach house property from the past ten years, which is how I discovered Seitarou Yagiri was actually the owner. It all clicked then: the private plane, the remote and well-guarded home, and the fact it was so readily available for Shinra. Even on my Earth, Shingen and Seitarou had been business partners, but here they were considered 'family' according to Celty.

That's when I decided to make a fake connection. A fake threat here, something to expose his otherworldly collection I knew he had and before 8, I was standing on the corner of sunshine street running my fingertips over the curve of my knife. Ikebukuro was quieter than Shizuo in the apartment tonight. He sat at the counter with his face downturned like he was thinking about something horribly depressing. I left while he was in the midst moping eager to escape any questioning. I was honestly a little surprised he let me leave without saying anything.

Yagari must know what Shinra is up too. I had enough pulled to reach Yageri’s assistant on the phone once I made the discovery and with a little persuasion, I arranged a meeting in the cover of the night just like all those old detective movies Shizuo watched as a child. Dectective movies he still watches when he misses his brother under a pale blue blanket on his ancient sofa. His honey eyes so alight as he watches the black and white pictures move across the screen. Shizuo Heiwajimi is a child at heart. I’m just a delighted observer. The way his golden eyes took in the movies was oddly enjoyable. Certainly didn't mean I was attached or attracted to him in any way besides my burning human curiosity. His life was oddly boring when I was actively trying to make him suffer.

The sleek black, limo pulling up drew me out of my shell. The back door clicks open and muffled voice commands, “Get in.”

The seat is leather and smooth against my palm. It reminds me of Mr. Shikki’s car rides around town. “Good evening Mr. Yagari. I’m so glad you could meet with me off the clock.” I broke out a sly smile hoping it wasn't so infuriating he wouldn't give up anything valuable.

Mr. Yagari’s fat neck turned towards me. He snorted, “I was so inclined to do so after such a threatening email from someone claiming to be an informant.” Mr. Yagari tapped his sweaty finger against his cane rather impatiently. “An informant in this day and age,” he shakes his head, “Threatening me? A retired CEO.”

I raised a brow, “Ah yes, it is rather unfortunate. A retired businessman such as yourself has nothing of value to hide-“ I scoot closer invading his space. I’m sure I come off as eccentric. It’s not like I could help myself when the secret is right in front of me. “But, besides that threatening email, I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me about your beachfront property. That is what the email was pertaining to, correct?”

Yagari stiffens slightly before muttering, “Which one detective?” His dark eyes rolled over me as if he were really just seeing me for the first time.  
I note his response, “The Okinawa property.”

Yagari narrows his brown eyes and avoids eye contact, “Why do you want to know about that property? There's nothing particularly special about it.”

I smiled widely knowing I appeared mad, “I know you left it to Shinra Kishitani-“

Yagari interjects, “I haven’t spoken to him in years. Not since his graduation."

My smile hardens, “That’s not what his Dullahan lover says.”

Yagari’s eyes slither over to glare at me from the side, “There’s no such thing as Dullahans. Children's fairytale. Stop wasting my time." His stern voice wavered slightly. He was lying.  
  
"Every fairytale has some basis of truth." I grinned imagining Celty strangling his fat neck, "You would know, right Yagari-san?"

His mouth twitched as he faced me, "I think you're stabbing in the dark Orihara. Better be careful where your knife lands."

My right fingers twitched at the jab. He knew I had a knife, "Heiwajima." I licked my lower lip at the lie.

"Whatever makes you sleep better at night detective."

My mind scrambled for another way to take control, "Why do you think Ken Saito was murdered?"

Yagari arched a worm-like eyebrow at me, "Drugs? Who knows what the youths these days do with their time."

"Humans often trick themselves into believing that simple solutions are the answer when lying. It's oddly insulting you think you can use the same excuse Shinra gave me this morning. I bet you even discussed what you would say to him before I got here." I should steal his phone. I should steal it and see if it's true. No matter how much I wanted to, I kept my hands at my side.

His lips curled into a smile, "Sometimes the simplest solution is the truth. Humans squirm around it. Avoid it like death because it's too hard to give up the lie they've been idolizing." His dark eyes shimmered through the stray lights of the tunnel we had entered, "Just as you are."

My shoulders stiffened, "So, it has nothing to do with the debates with North Korea? The prospect of peace that diplomate Saito was in favor of forming on behalf of Japan before his son's brain was scattered along the sidewalk?" I wasn't following a lie. He was the one lying.

"Drug deal gone bad? Parents should watch their children more closely."

I snarled before easing back into a smile, "Yes, they should. But, you have no children Yagari-san. Surely it's easy to judge from the outside in."

Yagari pressed his lips together with unknown delight across his face, "That's where you're wrong Orihara. I did raise a child. I have raised her into the beautiful woman she is today." The cruel delight lit up his face as the car pulled to a stop. A woman with long legs, dark hair entered gracefully sitting on the seat in front of us. Her gaze so vacant with dark eyes staring through us. A bruise blossomed along her ivory collarbone displayed by her skin-tight black dress. "Uncle and..." Her quiet voice trailed off as realization clawed into me.

"Namie!" A man entered now with a bottle of champagne in his hand, and a black shawl in the other. "Cover up your fucking shoulders." He slurred. Namie hastily grabbed the shawl from his hands wrapping it around her slender shoulders as a tall, foreign man slid in next to her.  
  
"Whoops, sorry Yagari. I wasn't aware we had company." His slicked-back brown hair was coming undone and he had an accent I couldn't place. His gaze examined mine after my horrified eyes left Namie. The realization of what this man was doing to her already branded itself in my brain.

His tight jaw clenched as he tilted his head, "Who's this?" His adam's apple bobbed. He was straining himself to speak calmly.

"Detective Izaya Heiwajima, he was just asking me a few questions relating to the diplomat's son."

The man raised a dark eyebrow at Yagari, "You knew that bastard?"

"I did not. Unfortunately, someone had fed our poor detective a fake lead."

Horrified I watched Namie hold this monster's hand. Her face was indifferent, but her eyes screamed hate. Fear maybe. Afraid of being hurt again. A beautiful shell of my secretary stared at the ground ignoring me. I couldn't breathe.  
  
"I believe this was the detective's stop." Yagari's voice prodded me. Luckily my limbs responded as I exited the vehicle. My mind racing as I cast one last glance at Namie who did not meet my gaze. That bastard hurt my secretary. His slimy fingers clutched her delicate hand as if he owned her.

"It was lovely meeting you detective. By the way, this is my nephew-in-law. Australian millionaire Claude Walker."

Claude gave a little laugh, "I hope you don't take offense if I say I never want to see you again detective." He winked, "I rather enjoy Ikebukuro. This is near where Namie grew up. We always visit."

Namie still did not meet my gaze. I said nothing but instead of wanting to ram my knife into Shinra, I imagined Claude instead. I forced a smile, "I hope to never see you again Walker." I'd see him very, very soon after I leave his life in tatters.

The door shut with him laughing behind and Yagari's dark eyes glowing like a cat's. He wanted me to see what he could do. His beautiful, stubborn niece torn down. He knew what I was like in the other world. He knew I was the informant and he knew all of this because he spoke with Shinra. 

"It's a shame you know." His voice curled around me as the limo sped away. "She's so broken now. She might never be the same again. That must have been hard to see." I froze feeling his hand glide over my shoulder and down my upper arm before disconnecting. "I hope he won't hit her once she's pregnant."

I shoved Shinra into a nearby alley fully aware that this must be like the rage Shizuo feels when he sees me. I gripped the knife against his throat, "Why?" I spat out.

Shinra had the nerve to smile as I pressed the knife harder until I saw a thin bead of blood. "He'll want to have children someday. You know when a man loves a woman-"

I pressed so hard the beads dripped faster, "You fucking psychopath!"

Shinra still smiled, "Well, I don't hit her now do I? I'd never hit a woman. Apparently, he wasn't raised in the same manner."

"Fix it. Fucking fix it." My eyes burned, "You helped him turn her into that-that person." Rage filled me and for once I wish I had Shizuo's strength so I could rip his jaw out of his skull so he'd never smile again.

Shinra cocked his head driving the knife deeper, "I didn't do anything Izaya." He leaned forward not caring about the cut deepening, "But, I could." His red blood dribbled all over my fingers now. "I could fix it."  
The knife shook as I watched droplets pitter down his white lab coat. Soaked the divets of my nails red. "Let me fix everything. Let me help you." His voice was honey against the wound in my chest. The tear at my fragile heart imagining Namie cowering as his hand-his fist...  
"I can fix this 'zaya." His lips hovered over mine as his dark eyes pleaded.

"At what cost." I chided myself to keep the knife steady. Izaya Orihara does not falter. Shinra cannot offer me anything of value.  
  
"A kiss. Just a kiss." His breath caressed my lips that he had willingly slit his throat for. "I'll fix everything for you." He whispered in a husky voice.

I backed away from him disgusted, "No." I held the knife out in front of me, "I don't kiss monsters."

Shinra's demeanor darkened, "No?" He hissed like he couldn't fathom my response. "What do you mean no?"

I laughed joylessly. Laughed for a few solid seconds before speaking, "You're no different than Walker."

Shinra moved so fast I barely saw him as he pressed me against the wall. His fingers tilted my chin upwards, "I'm nothing like Walker." His eyes were drinking me in, "I'd never hurt you like that. I love you Izaya. I've always loved you."

I sneered shaking my head, which is when I saw a lanky blond gazing at us near the entrance to the ally. I shoved Shinra off of me and bolted towards him, "Shizuo!" I gasped meeting his steely gaze. "It's not what it looks like."  
Shizuo's chest rose and fell rapidly like he couldn't process what he just saw.

"Shinra is blackmailing me-"

A scalpel whizzed by my ear to bury itself into Shizuo's chest. The silver metal glinted under a street light. "It was exactly what it looked like." The glee in Shinra's voice was painfully clear as Shizuo's look of utter despair crashed around me. My heart twisted in my chest in a way I'd never felt before.

"It's not true." I clutched the space above my heart not realizing how much it hurt to watch Shizuo's despair turn to hate. "I'd never pick him over you."

Shinra's laughter bubbled across the ally like a noose curling itself around my neck, "Sure. Say that now while he's here. I see how it is 'zaya."

Shizuo shook his blond head, "Then tell me you love me." His lower lip quivered once. It was so childlike. So like my Shizuo.

The sentence made my aching heart break further. Repressed feelings snaked their way under my skin igniting my veins in the most painful way, "Shizuo, I-I-" I licked my cracked lips watching Shizuo turn away. "I love you." The words, those false words, felt so painfully true all of a sudden. Except it wasn't for this Shizuo. Why couldn't he have been my Shizuo?

Shizuo's back faced me, "I don't think I believe you anymore." His steps sounded like bombs exploding the further he walked away. Everything ruptured inside of me. I wanted to sink to my knees and scream at him, this stupid dimension I wanted to tear apart with my own hands, even at my shitty parents who were never there for me.

My hand clutched over my heart again. Shizuo wasn't really leaving me. This Shizuo wasn't even mine. I shouldn't care. It wasn't real. None of this was real! Shizuo is a fucking monster. I don't-I don't-

A warm breath tickled my ear, "You should have kissed me Izaya. Good luck fixing this on your own."

With my knife ready to go into Shinra's heart, I spun around. Of course, he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izayaaaaa what the fuck are you doingggggg
> 
> Honestly half of the time I was writing this I was like is this too dark? And then I was like naw evil Shinra could do way worse than this. Besides the huge foreshadowing bombshells (wink,wink) I hope you guys enjoyed the latest update and can stick with me for two more chapters till Shizuo finally reaches Izaya. Also if I have any errors just let me know in the comments. I hope my writing keeps improving since I have been working on it. I almost felt like going back and editing all my previous chapters but then I still have so many animes to get caught up on, books to write, books to read...so it's not going to happen. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading <3


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